Game life after 30+ Priorities and burnout How to not get Rooshed.
#1
In light of recent events at RVF, I think there is some merit for discussion about affects of game for the 10years+ crowd and where do we go from here when you're 35+?

Warning: Unstructured rambling below

I don't want to spend too much time discussing Roosh as it's already been beat to death but it appears (to me) that he's suffering from a culmination of extreme burnout multiplied by tragedy and mind altering substances - he is suffering from PTSD. The turning to religion is nothing new for people recovering from addictions or mental disorders.  Our fallen brother walks his own path but the problem persists: How does one cope with exposure to game over decades?

I have too have felt like an empty shell of a man, completely devoid of any emotion, after nights of debauchery. Why am I doing this? 
 
I have it worse than Roosh. I do not maintain exclusivity with any woman or have "monogamous mini relationships". Often I find myself losing interest immediately after the first bang and generally find myself gravitating more and more to multiple partners at once. More and more dopamine is needed to achieve the same "high". 

I'm in my mid 30's. What now?

The root of the problem stems from A) over consumption & B) failure to emphasize that the [hottest] woman or women is NOT your final goal.

Below is just a set of idea as they pertain to my personal situation and while yours may be different, I hope to at least engage some thought on the subject.

The answer for me is purpose & legacy.

A)I want to have children. (if you don't that's okay but find a passion that is ABOVE traveling and banging) I want to leave behind a legacy. My purpose is to pass down whatever knowledge, wisdom and resources I have acquired during my stay on this planet to MY DNA (Your kids HAVE TO look like you) that remains after I am gone.

B)I also do not want to commit to one single woman

The two are not mutually exclusive.

The only way to accomplish both is a return to open polygamy where women (and they are today more than any time in the last 100 years) are open to sharing a HUSBAND and child in a LOVING COMMITTED UNION with other women who may or may not reside under the same roof or may or may not also be mothers of said man's children.

Children must be brought up in a strong and traditional (by TRUE traditional standards of old not this modern 1 man 1 woman state sponsored union trash) Patriarchal households. 

Contrary to some of the more recent opinions, I believe you can have your cake and eat it too and in such a way where ALL parties involved are happier for it. 

(more on this in a later post) 

If you don't want kids - things are simpler but you still need to a purpose. A drive. A passion. Whatever it is you love, let it motivate you and drive you. Become an expert. Have this balance and have something else to immediately replace it when you've hit the top (this is where Roosh went wrong). Have a challenge. Women are last on the priorities list. Create something, add to something, leave some kind of legacy.

Godspeed Gents.
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#2
The answer is self-evident.

Much like Tyler Durden in "The Game", who became obsessed with game to a level that even Style and Mystery weren't, the first thing to do is realize game is just a tool.

Endless hedonism does not do anything good for men. That's not to say that men can't party a bit when younger.

But eventually a dude finds a wife and has kids, or keeps the bachelor lifestyle for the rest of his life--or, postpones having kids, LTR until he starts getting pretty old.
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#3
I’m going through the same thing man, been chasing pussy all over the world since I was sixteen, twenty years later and I’m finally starting to burn out from it all. Well, not totally, I’m waiting for a Tinder date to show up here in Cdmx but I’m planning on slowing down jaja.
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#4
I completely disagree that traditional polygamy is the way forward. You're very unlikely to achieve that outside the Muslim world. Much more reasonable is ghetto/trailer park style matrilineal (versus matriarchal) families. Knock some woman up in a country with limited child support, so that mother has to cooperate with you on child rearing issues if she wants money. Then knock another woman up so you have two baby mommas. The women do the same thing, so multiple baby daddies for their multiple children. Meanwhile, nobody is forced to live with or have sex with people they don't like. If women want help with child rearing, they need to pick baby daddies with money who want to be fathers and then let those men have some control over child rearing. Sounds horrible, but it's the only realistic system nowadays to get what you specified: children without sexual monogamy. Not guaranteed to work in the USA because of child support laws that favor woman. Can easily work in poorer countries.

I don't and never did care about children myself, plus I'm 58 and thus well past the ideal time for having them, plus I had a vasectomy (at age 54).

Sexual kung fu is highly recommended if you feel post-coital disgust. Gets more and more important to practice sexual kung fu as you get older. I started a trollish thread on the subject in the Lifestyle from, with better stuff from me back at RVF. Best source of info is Mantak Chia's books. He also has some interesting YouTube videos, but the books are the final word. Getting sexual kung to work properly is not easy. Took me like 10 years to master it. Mostly masturbation practice, where controlling yourself is much, much easier than when buried in some warm, wet, writhing young woman.

My purpose is to enjoy life while waiting to die, which should happen no sooner than in about 40 years, since I come from a long lived family.

Morning calisthenics/yoga plus healthy eating (especially avoiding bad stuff like as alcohol and drugs, including those mushrooms Roosh took) is extremely important to keeping your mood up.
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#5
Good luck finding a quality woman who is down for polygamy.

Also, feel sorry for any kids raised in such a setting.
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#6
(06-04-2019, 04:28 AM)Dash Wrote: Good luck finding a quality woman who is down for polygamy.

Also, feel sorry for any kids raised in such a setting.




High quality (subjective) women accept non exclusivity all the time. Now there's an added benefit of a long term commitment, family and a divided work load.

Why do you feel sorry for the kids?
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#7
(06-04-2019, 04:58 AM)JSN Wrote:
(06-04-2019, 04:28 AM)Dash Wrote: Good luck finding a quality woman who is down for polygamy.

Also, feel sorry for any kids raised in such a setting.




High quality (subjective) women accept non exclusivity all the time. Now there's an added benefit of a long term commitment, family and a divided work load.

Why do you feel sorry for the kids?

Naw, generally it's broken insecure mentally unstable women accept those kinds of relationships. Usually women who were abused and neglected growing up.
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#8
Fact is virtually every high value married man has plates on the side, defacto polygamist. More often than not the wife knows about it or suspects it. But wont make a fuss if its discrete. 

Im not saying its a good thing, but that is the reality.

There's a reason polygamy was the historical norm in many societies. The Western worlds monogamy didnt quell the desire just created a lot of unwanted bastards.
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#9
I have to admit that the prospect of becoming monogamous after so many (wonderful) girls all over the world doesn't look too appealing at the moment. I think a man in such a situation, who does want to have kids and raise a real family, will probably look to evolve towards a situation where you find the best possible partner you can get, using all the worldly experience you gained and game as well of course. Then settle down with that girl and start a family, trying to be the best father you can be, and realizing that it is kids more so than love that maintains a healthy relationship. Watching kids grow together and the happiness that brings should be the main focus of a long-lasting relationship since it is not realistic to think that sex and romantic interest will not decline over time. You choose your partner for her potential as a mother, her feminine qualities (including her looks), her good genes and family values, her caring and nurturing character.

Then, depending on your work/life situation, such a man could probably find ways to have his occasional side fun as well over time, completely minimizing any risk for exposure (both as in your wife/family finding out but also knocking another girl up or catching an STD). Here is where it becomes tricky though. If you are a man living in the west in a small city or town, this will become most likely very complicated and high risk for logical reasons. Even if you are a man living in a big western city, over time the odds would not be that good, since the culture is completely stacked against you.

In some cases you are much better positioned for such a life:
-you travel frequently for work: much easier logistic wise, reduced exposure etc.
-you live in the third world: in almost every country in the third world it is either completely or semi-accepted that a high-value man has several women, take care though because in quite a few of them it is also semi-accepted that women sleep around. When your wife finds out you slept with another girl, you maintain frame, make sure she realizes she is Nr.1 and chances are very high it won't be the end of the relationship.
-you are wealthy: both in access to girls as well as in means to facilitate the whole process money comes in handy. Being able to get good apartments, travel whenever desired, have more off time, get a private driver etc. all play in your favor.

So your first priority should be to get at least one of those 3 possibilities and preferably a combination. If you are not rich, nor travel, nor live in the third world, maybe you should accept that the risk is too high and if necessary just use whores occasionally.

Now, the hardest part of it all is of course within yourself. Do you feel that as a man you have that right? Do you feel that you have complete control over your emotions and desires? Are you disciplined, detail focused and organized? If necessary, go study history and biology and read books on genes to strengthen your mental logical framework. Adapt routines that help you keep track and monitor yourself as a person. Study philosophy to become more rational and clear-minded.

If you yourself don't feel that you deserve this, feel that you are amoral and a cheater, you should probably not go this route. Your state of mind will give away small hints to what you are doing. You will make mistakes. If you are not sufficiently cold, you might even become emotional and fall for another woman. If your wife is smarter than you, you probably won't last either. Whoever wants to go this way, should probably plan for it all in advance.

-make sure you are a fair bit smarter than your wife
-start the relationship as an independent man, who does not tell his wife every day what he is doing, who he is talking to, where he went etc.
-control your finances completely, without help from your wife
-either don't have social media or make sure it is completely on lock
-don't be the man that picks up on phone calls always, become the guy that does not pick up calls and uses text messages
-make sure your friends are red pill soldiers who do not envy you and would not rat you out ever
-keep your work and your social life completely separated
-be unpredictable
-be friendly to girls everywhere, also to not good looking girls/older women and even interact with dogs/kids. If you are a guy that talks to the neighbors wife, talks to the old lady that sells fruits, talks to the cashier girl at the supermarket, plays with a dog from a random person on the street etc. you won't have such a hard time explaining why you were talking to that hot girl with big fake hooters at the mall when one of your wife's friends spotted you.
-make sure your physical appearance is always taken care off, not something you just arrange when within the prospect of landing a hot girl

And above all, make sure your partner and the mother of your children is the Nr.1 at all times and that you do your duties as a father and as her man. That means being there in critical times, on specific important holidays, making sure you fuck her well from time to time, make her feel loved, maintain good relationships with her family etc.

If you ever do get caught, you deny everything and never admit any fault. The second option would be to admit everything and not accept any fault. The third option in which you would lose everything most likely is to admit everything and accept all fault, through which your partner will not only become very angry with you but also will lose all respect for you as a strong man that knows what he is doing.

Now, that was an interesting thought experience. Not that this is anything I would ever consider off course.
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#10
I'm also suffering here in Ukraine, I've also been chasing pussy since I was a teenager.

I remember talking to myself while I was at the urinal in a London nightclub in 2003.... "Deb, you can't keep on like this for much longer, time to settle down" 

Little did I know the real fun was barely beggining. 

Nowadays my T levels are dropping and I can't be bothered with the all the games associated with dating Ukrainian girls, I approach less and go out less

The thing is that I know I can pass as a guy ten years younger, and if I could find the desire I could still be as successful as 8 years ago, but it's not fresh and not as exciting anymore. 

I'm looking for a girl to impregnate now, I've lowered my expectations, she should be nice, from a decent family, maximum 7.5/10, but young, no less than 13 years my junior. Perhaps I will move to a smaller Ukrainian city and start a yoga studio. 

Anyway must dash, I have a date later with a 20yr old, hoping to seal the deal before I leave for Odessa tomorrow
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#11
(06-04-2019, 05:28 AM)SpecialEd Wrote: Fact is virtually every high value married man has plates on the side, defacto polygamist. More often than not the wife knows about it or suspects it. But wont make a fuss if its discrete. 

Im not saying its a good thing, but that is the reality.

There's a reason polygamy was the historical norm in many societies. The Western worlds monogamy didnt quell the desire just created a lot of unwanted bastards.

This is correct. Players like us should stop idolising marriage, stop moralising about what happens after. Guess what guys, we're all ruined sexually, just like the carousel riding girls. That's the real red pill here. So you can settle down, but you're going to have to make your peace with cheating.

And forget about that polygamy bullshit; any woman of value would never settle for this. Not to mention the kids...
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#12
Some of us played, got married, and now are divorced and playing again.

Marriage is over hyped because most people have bad marriages and don’t advertise it
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#13
I plan on banging whores well into my 90s. I tried the married/kids thing in my 30s. Just wasn't for me.

We all are different. You just have to find what brings you happiness in the end.
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#14
(06-04-2019, 04:47 PM)Villain Wrote: I plan on banging whores well into my 90s. I tried the married/kids thing in my 30s. Just wasn't for me.

We all are different. You just have to find what brings you happiness in the end.

Why was it a waste?
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#15
^Thereoretically a family man would never be able to compete with a single man with the same drive, skillset, talents,etc.

Bachelor industry titans and monks come to mind. One has no distractions from his pursuit of success & innovation and the other is freely able to pursue the eternal.

In reality though, i think kids are a great motivator. Most successful people DO have a family and cite it as a source of inspiration.

Very few guys are comfortable in the bachelor camp long term.

Cant imagine ever calling my kids a waste though lol. Even if they turned out rotten..i mean those are you kids.
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#16
No one said it was a waste. The poster was misquoted
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#17
"Open" Polygamy isn't going to fly in the modern western society.

Even in places like the middle east, polygamy is only the for the rich upper class/royalty, even then they suppress the average man from having multiple wives.

Even modern day Mormonism that doesn't really fly unless you're apart of a Mormon offshoot.

Like others have mentioned, high value guys do indeed have defacto side chicks and mistresses - this isn't anything new. (Don't ask, don't tell)

Most player's can barely handle a few plates, now imagine multiple wives AND their children - whole different ballgame that most can't handle nor comprehend

But we're talking about the average guy who has learned to game women, even then, they aren't the 1%'ers.


As far as women and game goes - most men who are players usually have their fun and settle down and have a family.

This is normal and you're WAY ahead of the curve in handling a marriage and family.


As for being in your 30's the following are mandatory:

-Having your finances together
-Have a career or business you're invested in
-Having your health together
-Having a good enough knowledge on how to game women

Then he can start wife hunting or keep gaming as he pleases.


One thing I've noticed about players is that we get burnout ever so often, this is more recurring once you hit your 30's for most.

-You don't like hitting clubs or bars late night
-You'd rather spend money on other shit besides drinks, dates, etc
-You value your time and have a low tolerance for bullshit
-Career/business might be taking most your time
-Thinks in your 20's just aren't as fun in your 30's

Once again, this is all natural, there's nothing wrong.

Personally I'm in my early 30's but I've changed my lifestyle since last year.

-Cut back on drinking and drugs
-Laser focused and dialed on diet and working out (goal is shredding now)
-Finances - debt free, saving for down payment on property and upgrade my car
-Invested time at work which now is bearing fruit (and money), gunning for a big raise this year
-Social life hasn't changed I'm still a large social butterfly

With the above taking over my life game and girls have become secondary.

-Deleted all my dating apps about 4 months ago
-Haven't gone on any new dates
-Still spin plates to bang on the regular
-Dropped girls who are drama or negative
-Been approaching more in person and using social circle to game girls

Since my finances and career are for the most part in order I'll probably jump back on dating apps (it's the fastest bang vs time invested).

Especially with summer right around the corner and getting my body in shape as well.

I've had thoughts of having an LTR which would be nice, but I'm not actively looking at all - chasing new pussy doesn't get old especially if you're good at it.

For guys who feel empty - get off dating apps and social media for awhile, stop fapping also - trust me that desire for a good woman WILL come back.

So will the desire the hunt new pussy - but you can channel that hunger/energy into other avenues in your life.

Obviously definitely find a purpose in life along with hobbies, but sometimes you need a long break from being jaded.
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#18
A famous Libertarian l, Harry Browne, wrote a book about this called How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

It’s out of print but still available. He recommended basically an open marrriage and contracts. He was not focused on sex but rather on keeping the government out of his life.

The reality is that marriage makes no sense economic ally for men, and the Harry Browne route while better is clunky and not easy to pull off. I read it before I got married and discarded his ideas. Now, in the middle of being divorce raped, I’d be more inclined to deal with his approach if I hadn’t already taken the red pill.

Realize that there are few divorced red pilled men who remarry.
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#19
Having the government stay out of marriage would be great, but there's a great amount of money that would be lost.

Having an "open marriage" is an immediate surrender of your frame to your significant other.

Think about the girls who say they're in an "open relationship", almost all the guys in those relationships are losers.

I only know of one or two guys who have an open relationship, and usually it's the guy having 3somes with his wife and a new chick.

A written out contract if SHTF would be great but when emotions get involved that goes out the window.
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#20
(06-04-2019, 05:01 PM)Dash Wrote:
(06-04-2019, 04:47 PM)Villain Wrote: I plan on banging whores well into my 90s. I tried the married/kids thing in my 30s. Just wasn't for me.

We all are different. You just have to find what brings you happiness in the end.

Why was it a waste?

Yeah, never said it was a waste. I am just not wired for the 'family life'. Wasn't fulfilling for me. And I didn't really have any interest in having an open marriage or whatever (not judging others who do...just wasn't me).

I just never grew out of my playboy phase. I am in my 40's now and I don't see it happening anytime soon. But who knows, maybe one day I will. Until then...
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