Women love men who don't give a fuck. And they pity, despise, and lose attraction for men who give too many fucks.
Now if you want to increase your attractiveness to women by not giving a fuck, the fastest way to do that is to be unreactive.
But what does that mean?
It means that you don't let something a woman says or does affect you. You don't let it throw you off your game. Off your goals, your confidence, your preferences.
Basically, you don't change your thinking or behavior based on her.
Why not?
Well let's look at the psychology behind attraction.
In short, women are attracted to guys who have the following qualities:
Well...think about what being unreactive communicates.
When you're unreactive, when you don't give a fuck, when you don't play into her games or respond erratically when she throws a "shit test" your way...this shows confidence.
And if you're confident enough to not give a fuck, it means you must not care if you lose her or not. You're willing to abide by your own values, principles, and desires.
It also shows that (since you're so unaffected by her) you live in sexual abundance.
On the flipside, being too reactive has the opposite effect.
It shows neediness, attachment to outcome, and the implication that you're so afraid of losing her that you play into her antics to avoid your fate of being forever alone. This kills attraction.
Being unreactive is attractive because it demonstrates that you're not watching her every move, hanging on her every word, checking your messages for her reply frantically all day....that you don't see her as a source of validation.
Instead, the unreactive man is self-validated. He doesn't play into situations, trick questions, insults, or other "tests" --- he either ignores them outright or laughs them off.
By now, at least one person reading this has thought "But that's stupid, there's nothing wrong with caring about someone or showing them affection."
That's true.
But if you truly care about a girl, and you want her to enjoy being with you, then you need to give her the gift of a carefree attitude.
This will amplify how much attraction she has for you and how much fun and comfort she experiences interacting with you.
Remember this: what women truly want and what they say they want in a man are usually two very different things.
Women say they want a nice guy, and yet they have no problems hooking up with the asshole bartender after the club closes. He didn't take her on a date. He'll never call her again. She did everything (and I mean everything) with him over the course of the night... and she loved it.
If you're not quite getting the picture yet, substitute "asshole bartender" with one of the following:
These are archetypes...these are the guys most girls love to fuck. Guys they respect. And yet, they do the opposite of what Hollywood and feminism teaches you to do with regards to women.
Or consider this - Women love to listen to pop songs sung by girly-boys like Ed Sheeran...you know the songs about love and romance and sweet gestures...
Shit, they even sing along...
Yet they shake. their. ass. and get down 'n dirty whenever that one song by (Insert Famous Rapper) comes on...you know the guy who has face tats and tells girls to shake their booty, and how he loves hoes who suck his dick...
You know...the asshole that girls *definitely* don't want (EYE ROLL.....)
Imagine you're a world famous athlete or rapper in your private VIP section surrounded by 10 beautiful women who all want you...are you going to give a single flying fuck if one of the girls says "Oh my god were you flirting with that other girl! It's over...never talk to me again."
Naw. You'll slowly turn your head towards her, with an almost-blank stare on your face, and either look away again without much of an expression or say something like "you're out of control" or "do as you wish."
In short, you'll be unreactive.
These are the kind of behavioral cues that women look for to gauge a man's value. A confident, not giving a fuck guy will imply other characteristics that are attractive.
At the end of the day, being reactive shows that you feel a lack of self-validation. That you don't value yourself highly.
You might think it shows her that you care, that you're listening, and that you're willing to compromise to make the relationship work. Sure, there's a time and place for that. But there's never a time and place for giving away your power as a man who knows what we wants and what he expects of those around him, including women he dates.
Nonreactiveness shows that you're willing to walk away (or let her walk away) at any moment that she's not contributing to your mission, to your confidence, to your lifestyle.
There are many situations that call for being unreactive.
In the club example above, the girl is trying to trap the guy into playing into a frame that would be deadly for him.
If he took her bait and said "Oh no! I wasn't looking at her! No baby you're the only one!" If he reacted to her like that...and went on and on trying to win her approval back (see why this is bad yet?) ...she would lose respect for him...even though he's trying to react logically to what she said.
Sure, she might not like the idea of other girls vying for his attention...she might not like the fact that he is attracted to those girls...but at the end of the day it only makes him more sexy in her eyes. It's basic human instinct.
Watch a woman's behavior, her actions. NOT her words.
As an example: Women will berate their boyfriends and husbands (usually the guys who fell into a beta frame for her, although it is possible to maintain frame in long term relationships with tight game) about potential cheating or not picking up his socks off the floor, or any range of bullshit.
However, they will happily have a one-night stand in a cheap motel...or even a long term affair ...with some dude who only hit her up on Facebook, a dude -- by the way-- that she knows already has a girlfriend, and that she knows has slept with 3 other girls that week before her. Oh, and she won't even use a condom. And she'll get on her knees --- with Glee! --- for him.
Because she doesn't care that he's a bad boy. Actually that's not true. She does care --- in fact she loves it!!!
The aloof alpha does what he wants, fucks who he wants, and makes no apologies.
There are two sets of rules in the world: those for Alphas, and those for Betas.
The bad news is that we have all probably at one point put ourselves in the Beta Box...and in doing so imposed rules on ourselves (I have to please this woman and entertain her bullshit drama) and false beliefs on ourselves (I could never find another girl like this)...
The good news is that in a moment, you can be Alpha. You can be unreactive. You can practice not giving a fuck.
Women watch behavior. If you don't care too much about what she says and does, and the little games she plays (which you can't win by the way, unless you don't play them)...if you don't care...she'll be thinking "there must be a reason why."
(Shit at first just pretend you don't care. It's called faking it till you make it).
She'll say all kinds of things. She'll insult you. She'll say the conversation is over, or the relationship is over. She'll try to withhold intimacy and attention and affection.
But this is also a bluff -- her bluff.
When she actually sees (by your "not giving a fuck" body language, vocal tonality, eye contact, and word choice) that you won't play into her games, she'll come back around (whether it's 10 minutes or 10 days) and be even more attracted to you.
If she doesn't, then you're dealing with a woman that doesn't respect strong men...or simply isn't attracted to you enough to behave herself like a woman who wants to keep you -- if so that's fine, consider it a bullet dodged.
Next time a woman tries to make you feel bad about something, or in any way tries to put you into the frame of chasing her and win her approval -- flip the switch. The one way, and perhaps most powerful way, that any man can do that is be unreactive.
Hear what she says. Let it hit you emotionally. Let all the thoughts run through your heads of how to react and how to "save the situation." But don't look like it. Don't let her see you think. Don't let her see you flinch. When the emotion wears off, when you've cleanly escaped her trick...your logical mind will prevail and you'll remember why it's so important to not give a fuck - She doesn't want you to respond the way you think she does. She's only doing it to see "HOW" you respond. So respond like an Alpha.
Disclaimer: This is not dating advice. I am not a dating coach. I am semi-retarded and eat paint chips for breakfast. Take only what resonates with you and disregard the rest.
Now if you want to increase your attractiveness to women by not giving a fuck, the fastest way to do that is to be unreactive.
But what does that mean?
It means that you don't let something a woman says or does affect you. You don't let it throw you off your game. Off your goals, your confidence, your preferences.
Basically, you don't change your thinking or behavior based on her.
Why not?
Well let's look at the psychology behind attraction.
In short, women are attracted to guys who have the following qualities:
- Confident
- Good sense of humor
- Socially preselected (social proof)
- Risk-taker
- Intelligent
- Leader of men
- Cares for loved ones
- Can express emotions effectively
Well...think about what being unreactive communicates.
When you're unreactive, when you don't give a fuck, when you don't play into her games or respond erratically when she throws a "shit test" your way...this shows confidence.
And if you're confident enough to not give a fuck, it means you must not care if you lose her or not. You're willing to abide by your own values, principles, and desires.
It also shows that (since you're so unaffected by her) you live in sexual abundance.
On the flipside, being too reactive has the opposite effect.
It shows neediness, attachment to outcome, and the implication that you're so afraid of losing her that you play into her antics to avoid your fate of being forever alone. This kills attraction.
Being unreactive is attractive because it demonstrates that you're not watching her every move, hanging on her every word, checking your messages for her reply frantically all day....that you don't see her as a source of validation.
Instead, the unreactive man is self-validated. He doesn't play into situations, trick questions, insults, or other "tests" --- he either ignores them outright or laughs them off.
By now, at least one person reading this has thought "But that's stupid, there's nothing wrong with caring about someone or showing them affection."
That's true.
But if you truly care about a girl, and you want her to enjoy being with you, then you need to give her the gift of a carefree attitude.
This will amplify how much attraction she has for you and how much fun and comfort she experiences interacting with you.
Remember this: what women truly want and what they say they want in a man are usually two very different things.
Women say they want a nice guy, and yet they have no problems hooking up with the asshole bartender after the club closes. He didn't take her on a date. He'll never call her again. She did everything (and I mean everything) with him over the course of the night... and she loved it.
If you're not quite getting the picture yet, substitute "asshole bartender" with one of the following:
- Cocky athlete
- Musician
- Tattooed Gangbanger
- Abusive Ex-Boyfriend
These are archetypes...these are the guys most girls love to fuck. Guys they respect. And yet, they do the opposite of what Hollywood and feminism teaches you to do with regards to women.
Or consider this - Women love to listen to pop songs sung by girly-boys like Ed Sheeran...you know the songs about love and romance and sweet gestures...
Shit, they even sing along...
Yet they shake. their. ass. and get down 'n dirty whenever that one song by (Insert Famous Rapper) comes on...you know the guy who has face tats and tells girls to shake their booty, and how he loves hoes who suck his dick...
You know...the asshole that girls *definitely* don't want (EYE ROLL.....)
Imagine you're a world famous athlete or rapper in your private VIP section surrounded by 10 beautiful women who all want you...are you going to give a single flying fuck if one of the girls says "Oh my god were you flirting with that other girl! It's over...never talk to me again."
Naw. You'll slowly turn your head towards her, with an almost-blank stare on your face, and either look away again without much of an expression or say something like "you're out of control" or "do as you wish."
In short, you'll be unreactive.
These are the kind of behavioral cues that women look for to gauge a man's value. A confident, not giving a fuck guy will imply other characteristics that are attractive.
At the end of the day, being reactive shows that you feel a lack of self-validation. That you don't value yourself highly.
You might think it shows her that you care, that you're listening, and that you're willing to compromise to make the relationship work. Sure, there's a time and place for that. But there's never a time and place for giving away your power as a man who knows what we wants and what he expects of those around him, including women he dates.
Nonreactiveness shows that you're willing to walk away (or let her walk away) at any moment that she's not contributing to your mission, to your confidence, to your lifestyle.
There are many situations that call for being unreactive.
In the club example above, the girl is trying to trap the guy into playing into a frame that would be deadly for him.
If he took her bait and said "Oh no! I wasn't looking at her! No baby you're the only one!" If he reacted to her like that...and went on and on trying to win her approval back (see why this is bad yet?) ...she would lose respect for him...even though he's trying to react logically to what she said.
Sure, she might not like the idea of other girls vying for his attention...she might not like the fact that he is attracted to those girls...but at the end of the day it only makes him more sexy in her eyes. It's basic human instinct.
Watch a woman's behavior, her actions. NOT her words.
As an example: Women will berate their boyfriends and husbands (usually the guys who fell into a beta frame for her, although it is possible to maintain frame in long term relationships with tight game) about potential cheating or not picking up his socks off the floor, or any range of bullshit.
However, they will happily have a one-night stand in a cheap motel...or even a long term affair ...with some dude who only hit her up on Facebook, a dude -- by the way-- that she knows already has a girlfriend, and that she knows has slept with 3 other girls that week before her. Oh, and she won't even use a condom. And she'll get on her knees --- with Glee! --- for him.
Because she doesn't care that he's a bad boy. Actually that's not true. She does care --- in fact she loves it!!!
The aloof alpha does what he wants, fucks who he wants, and makes no apologies.
There are two sets of rules in the world: those for Alphas, and those for Betas.
The bad news is that we have all probably at one point put ourselves in the Beta Box...and in doing so imposed rules on ourselves (I have to please this woman and entertain her bullshit drama) and false beliefs on ourselves (I could never find another girl like this)...
The good news is that in a moment, you can be Alpha. You can be unreactive. You can practice not giving a fuck.
Women watch behavior. If you don't care too much about what she says and does, and the little games she plays (which you can't win by the way, unless you don't play them)...if you don't care...she'll be thinking "there must be a reason why."
(Shit at first just pretend you don't care. It's called faking it till you make it).
She'll say all kinds of things. She'll insult you. She'll say the conversation is over, or the relationship is over. She'll try to withhold intimacy and attention and affection.
But this is also a bluff -- her bluff.
When she actually sees (by your "not giving a fuck" body language, vocal tonality, eye contact, and word choice) that you won't play into her games, she'll come back around (whether it's 10 minutes or 10 days) and be even more attracted to you.
If she doesn't, then you're dealing with a woman that doesn't respect strong men...or simply isn't attracted to you enough to behave herself like a woman who wants to keep you -- if so that's fine, consider it a bullet dodged.
Next time a woman tries to make you feel bad about something, or in any way tries to put you into the frame of chasing her and win her approval -- flip the switch. The one way, and perhaps most powerful way, that any man can do that is be unreactive.
Hear what she says. Let it hit you emotionally. Let all the thoughts run through your heads of how to react and how to "save the situation." But don't look like it. Don't let her see you think. Don't let her see you flinch. When the emotion wears off, when you've cleanly escaped her trick...your logical mind will prevail and you'll remember why it's so important to not give a fuck - She doesn't want you to respond the way you think she does. She's only doing it to see "HOW" you respond. So respond like an Alpha.
Disclaimer: This is not dating advice. I am not a dating coach. I am semi-retarded and eat paint chips for breakfast. Take only what resonates with you and disregard the rest.