Don't Take Her Bait! (Why Being Unreactive is So Important)
#1
Star 
Women love men who don't give a fuck. And they pity, despise, and lose attraction for men who give too many fucks.

Now if you want to increase your attractiveness to women by not giving a fuck, the fastest way to do that is to be unreactive.

But what does that mean? 

It means that you don't let something a woman says or does affect you. You don't let it throw you off your game. Off your goals, your confidence, your preferences.

Basically, you don't change your thinking or behavior based on her.

Why not?

Well let's look at the psychology behind attraction.

In short, women are attracted to guys who have the following qualities:
  • Confident
  • Good sense of humor
  • Socially preselected (social proof)
  • Risk-taker
  • Intelligent
  • Leader of men
  • Cares for loved ones
  • Can express emotions effectively
Now, where would being "unreactive" fit into the picture? 

Well...think about what being unreactive communicates.

When you're unreactive, when you don't give a fuck, when you don't play into her games or respond erratically when she throws a "shit test" your way...this shows confidence.

And if you're confident enough to not give a fuck, it means you must not care if you lose her or not. You're willing to abide by your own values, principles, and desires.

It also shows that (since you're so unaffected by her) you live in sexual abundance.

On the flipside, being too reactive has the opposite effect.

It shows neediness, attachment to outcome, and the implication that you're so afraid of losing her that you play into her antics to avoid your fate of being forever alone. This kills attraction.

Being unreactive is attractive because it demonstrates that you're not watching her every move, hanging on her every word, checking your messages for her reply frantically all day....that you don't see her as a source of validation.

Instead, the unreactive man is self-validated. He doesn't play into situations, trick questions, insults, or other "tests" --- he either ignores them outright or laughs them off.

By now, at least one person reading this has thought "But that's stupid, there's nothing wrong with caring about someone or showing them affection."

That's true.

But if you truly care about a girl, and you want her to enjoy being with you, then you need to give her the gift of a carefree attitude.

This will amplify how much attraction she has for you and how much fun and comfort she experiences interacting with you.

Remember this: what women truly want and what they say they want in a man are usually two very different things.

Women say they want a nice guy, and yet they have no problems hooking up with the asshole bartender after the club closes. He didn't take her on a date. He'll never call her again. She did everything (and I mean everything) with him over the course of the night... and she loved it.

If you're not quite getting the picture yet, substitute "asshole bartender" with one of the following:
  • Cocky athlete
  • Musician
  • Tattooed Gangbanger
  • Abusive Ex-Boyfriend

These are archetypes...these are the guys most girls love to fuck. Guys they respect. And yet, they do the opposite of what Hollywood and feminism teaches you to do with regards to women.

Or consider this - Women love to listen to pop songs sung by girly-boys like Ed Sheeran...you know the songs about love and romance and sweet gestures...

Shit, they even sing along...

Yet they shake. their. ass. and get down 'n dirty whenever that one song by (Insert Famous Rapper) comes on...you know the guy who has face tats and tells girls to shake their booty, and how he loves hoes who suck his dick...

You know...the asshole that girls *definitely* don't want (EYE ROLL.....)

Imagine you're a world famous athlete or rapper in your private VIP section surrounded by 10 beautiful women who all want you...are you going to give a single flying fuck if one of the girls says "Oh my god were you flirting with that other girl! It's over...never talk to me again."

Naw. You'll slowly turn your head towards her, with an almost-blank stare on your face, and either look away again without much of an expression or say something like "you're out of control" or "do as you wish."

In short, you'll be unreactive.

These are the kind of behavioral cues that women look for to gauge a man's value. A confident, not giving a fuck guy will imply other characteristics that are attractive.

At the end of the day, being reactive shows that you feel a lack of self-validation. That you don't value yourself highly.

You might think it shows her that you care, that you're listening, and that you're willing to compromise to make the relationship work. Sure, there's a time and place for that. But there's never a time and place for giving away your power as a man who knows what we wants and what he expects of those around him, including women he dates.

Nonreactiveness shows that you're willing to walk away (or let her walk away) at any moment that she's not contributing to your mission, to your confidence, to your lifestyle.

There are many situations that call for being unreactive.

In the club example above, the girl is trying to trap the guy into playing into a frame that would be deadly for him.

If he took her bait and said "Oh no! I wasn't looking at her! No baby you're the only one!" If he reacted to her like that...and went on and on trying to win her approval back (see why this is bad yet?) ...she would lose respect for him...even though he's trying to react logically to what she said.

Sure, she might not like the idea of other girls vying for his attention...she might not like the fact that he is attracted to those girls...but at the end of the day it only makes him more sexy in her eyes. It's basic human instinct.

Watch a woman's behavior, her actions. NOT her words.

As an example: Women will berate their boyfriends and husbands (usually the guys who fell into a beta frame for her, although it is possible to maintain frame in long term relationships with tight game) about potential cheating or not picking up his socks off the floor, or any range of bullshit. 

However, they will happily have a one-night stand in a cheap motel...or even a long term affair ...with some dude who only hit her up on Facebook, a dude -- by the way-- that she knows already has a girlfriend, and that she knows has slept with 3 other girls that week before her. Oh, and she won't even use a condom. And she'll get on her knees --- with Glee! --- for him.

Because she doesn't care that he's a bad boy. Actually that's not true. She does care --- in fact she loves it!!!

The aloof alpha does what he wants, fucks who he wants, and makes no apologies.

There are two sets of rules in the world: those for Alphas, and those for Betas.

The bad news is that we have all probably at one point put ourselves in the Beta Box...and in doing so imposed rules on ourselves (I have to please this woman and entertain her bullshit drama) and false beliefs on ourselves (I could never find another girl like this)...

The good news is that in a moment, you can be Alpha. You can be unreactive. You can practice not giving a fuck.

Women watch behavior. If you don't care too much about what she says and does, and the little games she plays (which you can't win by the way, unless you don't play them)...if you don't care...she'll be thinking "there must be a reason why."

(Shit at first just pretend you don't care. It's called faking it till you make it).

She'll say all kinds of things. She'll insult you. She'll say the conversation is over, or the relationship is over. She'll try to withhold intimacy and attention and affection.

But this is also a bluff -- her bluff. 

When she actually sees  (by your "not giving a fuck" body language, vocal tonality, eye contact, and word choice) that you won't play into her games, she'll come back around (whether it's 10 minutes or 10 days) and be even more attracted to you. 

If she doesn't, then you're dealing with a woman that doesn't respect strong men...or simply isn't attracted to you enough to behave herself like a woman who wants to keep you -- if so that's fine,  consider it a bullet dodged.

Next time a woman tries to make you feel bad about something, or in any way tries to put you into the frame of chasing her and win her approval -- flip the switch. The one way, and perhaps most powerful way, that any man can do that is be unreactive.

Hear what she says. Let it hit you emotionally. Let all the thoughts run through your heads of how to react and how to "save the situation." But don't look like it. Don't let her see you think. Don't let her see you flinch. When the emotion wears off, when you've cleanly escaped her trick...your logical mind will prevail and you'll remember why it's so important to not give a fuck - She doesn't want you to respond the way you think she does. She's only doing it to see "HOW" you respond. So respond like an Alpha.


Disclaimer: This is not dating advice. I am not a dating coach. I am semi-retarded and eat paint chips for breakfast. Take only what resonates with you and disregard the rest.
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#2
Quote:Women will berate their boyfriends and husbands (usually the guys who fell into a beta frame for her, although it is possible to maintain frame in long term relationships with tight game) about potential cheating or not picking up his socks off the floor, or any range of bullshit. 

However, they will happily have a one-night stand in a cheap motel...or even a long term affair ...with some dude who only hit her up on Facebook, a dude -- by the way-- that she knows already has a girlfriend, and that she knows has slept with 3 other girls that week before her. Oh, and she won't even use a condom. And she'll get on her knees --- with Glee! --- for him.

This is highly accurate. 

The one part I question is whether it's actually "possible to maintain frame in long term relationships with tight game." I believe that committing to an exclusive relationship is a loss of frame, and all the game in the world can't change that.
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#3
(03-05-2021, 12:47 AM)WombRaider Wrote:
Quote:Women will berate their boyfriends and husbands (usually the guys who fell into a beta frame for her, although it is possible to maintain frame in long term relationships with tight game) about potential cheating or not picking up his socks off the floor, or any range of bullshit. 

However, they will happily have a one-night stand in a cheap motel...or even a long term affair ...with some dude who only hit her up on Facebook, a dude -- by the way-- that she knows already has a girlfriend, and that she knows has slept with 3 other girls that week before her. Oh, and she won't even use a condom. And she'll get on her knees --- with Glee! --- for him.

This is highly accurate. 

The one part I question is whether it's actually "possible to maintain frame in long term relationships with tight game." I believe that committing to an exclusive relationship is a loss of frame, and all the game in the world can't change that.

Well it depends on what type of girl you commit to regarding a relationship.  

OP seems to have unintentionally described a female type requiring "unreactive thinking" or from my experiences tend to be attractive females that:

1) Love to keep beta orbiter guy friends around
2) Really know their own value
3) Hang around mostly unattractive females to boost their own self-esteem 
4) Use their unattractive female friends as a source of their own amusement
5) Feel insecure around attractive females
6) Complain about high status men
7) Only date high status men
8) Will make that high status partner submit to her every demanding whim
9) Will stir shit up by initiating & sleeping with her partner's guy friend on the DL (even if the "friend" is a beta dork) 
10) Will sleep with a male acquaintance while in her own relationship...but preferably a loosely-based "guy friend" who "doesn't give a fuck" opposed to the friend-zoned beta orbiter mentioned in point #1.  

So in other words, this is the type of chick you normally don't commit to....but I'm sure we've all known dudes who've wifed up a chick like this and are trapped indefinitely....
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#4
^^^^^^

11) She posts 20 stories, most of them retarded mirror selfies on instagram and tiktok every single day.
12) She is hot.

Great write up.

Sometimes no reaction is the best reaction.

I've fallen for this trap recently getting pissed at some of my regulars constantly flaking, making them flake even more etc.

I do agree with other posters that it can sometimes depend on the girl and the situation. If its some fling or ONS and she did some disrespectful shit probably best just ignore it, but if its a girl you're dating or seeing and she does some BS, sometimes it needs to be addressed directly. In such a case I think how you bring it up without sounding like a whiny little bitch is really important. Of course in the heat of the moment its easier said then done.

Girls, esp hot girls will push your buttons over and over until even the most steady of us finally crack. Its a lot easier to write this stuff on a forum then to not get pissed when a girl you're regularly seeing flakes out on you by sending you a totally bullshit excuse over text 15 minutes after you've already arrived to the venue and ordered a beer when she said she was already on the way.

We all already know this shit, I think we should also address tips on handling anger in the heat of the moment. The anger is ok, if someone is disrespecting you its normal. Its good to be unreactive, but if you are also letting ppl disrespect you and not feeling anything about it, thats also not so great.

Its during these times you need to notice your anger and just sit with it and realize you're angry and that you shouldn't respond at the time. This is great advice not just for girls but in life. I think meditation helps a lot here. Contrary to popular belief meditation isn't about reaching some "zen" zone or breathing exercise, its about noticing thoughts and emotions so you can pull out from being identified from them and therefore reacting in a poor way. Or in case of emergency anger, just smoke some weed, thats like meditation on steroids lol.

This helps not just for when girls push your buttons but in a business setting too. Sending an angry email and sending a girl an angry text both have a 100% regret rate.
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#5
I don't think there's anything to regret if you send an angry text to a walking vagina that is constantly pushing your buttons. No need to have patience with idiots, remember this LatinoHEAT.

Might try silence tactic though, once I'm being flaked I won't respond or say anything (sometimes I end up just removing the number without saying anything).
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#6
^ Always the wrong move to send an angry text.  It shows that (a) you lack composure and (b) that she's significant enough to get a rise out of you.

Nothing cuts a woman like measured disregard and indifference.

Incidentally, this is also a strong posture to adopt for your own higher level of self respect. Disapprove firmly and righteously, dont make a show, and  then dismiss for awhile or forever. 

Can be really hard at times with certain kinds of girls but gets easier with age and experience.
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#7
Is it really so bad to send an angry text?

I feel like it can relieve you bit, if you tell that bitch the bullshit she does.

If a girl flakes on you, your value is so low she doesn't give a shit if you ignore her back. She just wants you out of her life. You have lost her anyways, so you can tell her how shite she is.

Of course not in a super needy way, but you can logically summarize the situation and give an opinion about how you think about it. 

"Hello, I felt excited to get to know you and see if you are cool. But I've noticed XXX and your behaviour XYZ is something that I don't tolerate, especially after you said (lied) BBB, UUU, OOO and UUU. I wish you good luck and hope you can improve your behaviours with the next potentially interesting person!"

At least someone tells her. Perhaps she will think about it and not being such an idiot with the next guy.
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#8
The thing is that if a man wants to send an angry text that has the truth of seed, then he shall do it despite of "losing the coolness and alphaness". Alpha does what he wants and he doesn't care if a woman thinks she has power to get emotions out of him. I usually just remove the number without saying much though.
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#9
(03-06-2021, 06:32 AM)battalion Wrote: The thing is that if a man wants to send an angry text that has the truth of seed, then he shall do it despite of "losing the coolness and alphaness". Alpha does what he wants and he doesn't care if a woman thinks she has power to get emotions out of him. I usually just remove the number without saying much though.

Yes, that's a fair point, Mr. Alpha. 

If you don't care, then go for it. Go ahead and send a dick pic while you're at it.

But if you want to deal with a tense situation with both poise and competence, and if you'd like to more effectively strike back at a girl who wronged you, then the best advice is to not send the angry text while being generally dismissive of her.
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#10
I usually send dick pics at the beginning.
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#11
If you get angry even if you don't show it, she already won because she got a reaction out of you.

The secret to not getting angry it's to have zero expectations from any date, meeting, person, etc. You planned a date with someone you just met online or got the number in a short interaction at the bar and she flaked on you? Doesn't matter, it's her loss and just try and make the best of your night.

What I started doing to avoid getting pissed off by getting flaked on, I always had a back up plan. For example I was planning going out with multiple girls at once and picked the best looking one from those that were coming.

Not giving a fuck has to be your entire mindset, you do give a fuck if someone flaked on you and you get pissed. This comes from experience and getting burned many times, understanding the true nature of the opposite sex and making peace with ourselves when we arrive at that conclusion.
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#12
(03-06-2021, 03:19 AM)lika91 Wrote: Is it really so bad to send an angry text?

I feel like it can relieve you bit, if you tell that bitch the bullshit she does.

If a girl flakes on you, your value is so low she doesn't give a shit if you ignore her back. She just wants you out of her life. You have lost her anyways, so you can tell her how shite she is.

Of course not in a super needy way, but you can logically summarize the situation and give an opinion about how you think about it. 

"Hello, I felt excited to get to know you and see if you are cool. But I've noticed XXX and your behaviour XYZ is something that I don't tolerate, especially after you said (lied) BBB, UUU, OOO and UUU. I wish you good luck and hope you can improve your behaviours with the next potentially interesting person!"

At least someone tells her. Perhaps she will think about it and not being such an idiot with the next guy.

Why bother..? Imagine some fat crosseyed chick sent you this sort of finger wagging message for leading her on. 

That's what this sort of lecturing on your end is analogous to.

Best to just blow her off and keep it moving. Not worth the effort of taking a goofy bitch seriously enough to chew her out.

And yeah you're free to bicker at her or send her a dick pic as battalion apparently does. That would be more 'alpha' than writing her off but then texting all your friends how pissed you are while crying into your pillow.

Personally, it just seems straightforward and dignified to simply not deal with those who don't want to deal with me.
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#13
There are definitely shades of the Throwing Shit on Girl Thread from RVF on here.  Just move on.  No more, no less.
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#14
Well actually a girl from Tinder texted me today, she was a 3 so I found an excuse to kick her out of my place after half an hour. She was late as every Latina is and sent me a super long text of apologies. And I do feel bad for her because I basically put the blame on her being late for throwing her out. She didn't even blame me for anything, but her text made me aware that my behaviour wasn't cool towards her even though she is the one who had tricked me with her pics.

The question is ofc if girls are capable of realizing that their behaviour is bad towards men they don't feel attracted to. And that's actually a serious issue. Imagine how many men in the world get extremely discouraged by disrespectful girls and loose their self-confidence, mind you not fall into depression or even worse states. Girls don't care about that, but if John is fucking another girl, they feel entitled to tell everyone who wants to know how stupid and dumb all guys are. So if it even helps only in 1 out of 5 cases, it would have already a positive impact.

If I have nothing to do, the girl obviously lied, I don't mind sending her a text. I don't care if the girl will think even more that I'm needy. I said my fair share of stuff, not because its the end of the world for me or I am an emotional wrack, but because she behaved disrespectful and I tell her that. Nothing else.

But I also understand your point of view and it does make sense, too.
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#15
I'm all for the general advice in this thread to remain unreactive and it's a sign of high self esteem to not let a girl get at you and work you into a lather. However, this isn't absolute and there are times when unreactivenss is both easier said than done and not advisable.

As you get more involved with a girl, most will invariably test you and act out in ways that demand a response. She questions your manhood in some way, she says something tacky about a friend/family member, she compares you or your achievements/skills to some other guy, or she does something on accident or on purpose to make you look like a bitch in front of your friends or hers.

Are you always gonna just swallow your rage and take it? Agree and amplify?

The truth is that just as there's a skill of seduction, there's also a skill to expressing anger/displeasure. Being unreactive and taking time to compose yourself when a girl gets cross with you will take care of things in 90+% of situations. That's especially the case in dealing with a prospect or new girl in your rotation who doesn't warrant the effort of an outlash.

But there are times when lines are crossed and no-response simply doesn't suffice.

An old Greek guy once summarized this topic well:

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

If a situation warrants an expression of anger, it should ideally be righteous, measured, and concentrated. In my experience, your anger is well underscored when you dismiss the girl for a period of time to let her stew and worry about what she's done. If you've really been wronged you dismiss her forever.

It's my experience that girls simply don't cope well with disapproval and that goes triple when it comes from those that know them closely. If you're angry in a controlled manner when the occasion calls for it and put them on ice, they'll often fall in line, soften, and seek your approval in the aftermath.
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#16
Theres another more practical reason not to send an angry text or get into a fight with a chick. Its a waste of your time. Probably if a girl got a rise out if you your already going into mental loops over and over again.

1. Sending the girl that text will make it even worse to snap out of it and move on and forget about it, especially if she responds.
2. Girls have no sense of accountability, you will not change her ways and you're not her daddy its not your job too anyways
3. Even if you did manage to change this one girls behavior, in the big sea of things you really made no difference anyways and just wasted your time

Then theres the obvious part that its not going to get you what you want anyways which is the girl. Of course there are certain times that warrant measured anger at a girl but I agree with other posts its less than 10% of situations for sure.

Basically you shouldn't text back not for her sake because who cares about her, but for your own sake because you're trying to overcome the negative situation as quickly as possible and the quickest way to do that is not engage in it. Its just a waste of your time its like getting into a fight about politics with some stranger on instagram is just no point in most cases.

The other day I matched with a solid 6-7, she basically gave me her number and went through the motions, just to wait to give me a long lecture about how going out during covid kills people and how young people can end up with lifelong damage and bla bla bla, and realized this whole thing was her to bait me into a fight. So you know what I did, nothing!

I heard once in a meditation, when people invite you to fight, you don't always have to accept. Its your choice to engage or not.
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#17
(03-07-2021, 03:25 AM)billydingdong Wrote: An old Greek guy once summarized this topic well:

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

Speaking of that, where is Greek kamaki?  He's one of the main reasons I started doing this forum stuff again.
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#18
Yes and no OP. In the beginning I can see how being unreactive can build up attraction but as the relationship settles you need to communicate what's ok and what's not.
If she gives out her number to some random who approached her, what are you gonna do/say?

Also girls LOVE drama. There's a reason why they're so hooked to soap operas, reality TV, gossip magazines. They'll get bored quick of the guy you're describing. They need to be called out on what they do/say wrong or at least challenged. That's the fire that keeps a relationship alive and not fall into boredom.

But of course frame is important. Stay firm and strong, loyal to your principles and never lose control, act violent, weak, needy etc

(03-07-2021, 03:54 AM)LatinoHeat Wrote: The other day I matched with a solid 6-7, she basically gave me her number and went through the motions, just to wait to give me a long lecture about how going out during covid kills people and how young people can end up with lifelong damage and bla bla bla, and realized this whole thing was her to bait me into a fight. So you know what I did, nothing!

She probably feels guilty for going outside herself and is compensating by virtue signaling. 

Some Belarus girl I matched on Happn gave me the same long lecture. A week later I bump into her in a bar. AND she's not even wearing a mask lol. Needless to say she cut the convo and left quick lol
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#19
(03-07-2021, 04:12 AM)Merenguero Wrote:
(03-07-2021, 03:25 AM)billydingdong Wrote: An old Greek guy once summarized this topic well:

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

Speaking of that, where is Greek kamaki?  He's one of the main reasons I started doing this forum stuff again.

same axa
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#20
(03-05-2021, 12:06 AM)CraveElectrolytes Wrote: Imagine you're a world famous athlete or rapper in your private VIP section surrounded by 10 beautiful women who all want you...are you going to give a single flying fuck if one of the girls says "Oh my god were you flirting with that other girl! It's over...never talk to me again."

Naw. You'll slowly turn your head towards her, with an almost-blank stare on your face, and either look away again without much of an expression.

Good post.  Narcissistic rock star Axl Rose's blase described threesomes:  "Usually somebody gets mad and leaves."  Axl didn't care if a girl stormed off, because he was still busy having sex with his favorite, and had more groupies lined up outside.  Axl owed nothing to jealous backstage skanks.

Can you imagine Axl tolerating shit tests?  He wouldn't be compliant, nor bitter and butthurt.  Instead, he would just wait until his next show to have more effortless threesomes.  

Women can smell this attitude.  Axl doesn't need his whole rock band and entourage to get laid.  Neither do you.  Mature men who are confident about romantic success will represent themselves fearlessly and authentically.  Women are attracted to this genuine "don't give a fuck" attitude.

It also reminds me of best-seller fratire author Tucker Max, regarding a college girl who humble-bragged about unsatisfying sex with him.  Tucker responded:

She readily admitted that she came out to f--k me. ...  I have to be OK with the women who come to f--k me writing about it for millions to read, you need to be OK with me not caring for or considering you in bed. I'm sure there are a lot of guys who will be sweet and gentle with you in bed and really pay attention to your needs, but the guys you come out to sport f--k probably won't be among them.
http://web.archive.org/web/2009100223361...o-told-al/
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