Poll: What percentage of the numbers you get (from online or offline) do you eventually go on a first date?
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<10%
53.85%
7 53.85%
~25%
15.38%
2 15.38%
~50%
23.08%
3 23.08%
~75%
7.69%
1 7.69%
90%+
0%
0 0%
Total 13 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

The Texting Strategy Thread _ Seeking Recommendations
#1
Texting is a low point in my game. I get lots of matches, when I get them on a date I bang them most of the time, but I lose probably 90% of the numbers I get and I'm attributing it to texting. I've read some books, talked with some friends who seem to know what they're doing, but I'd like to further increase my abilities. Can someone recommend anything from their one golden rule to the best book or course they've taken?
OLG 9, DG 8, NG 5
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#2
Texting 101

Good: Text often and in full sentences. Ask questions.

Bad: Text rarely. Short replies.

That is 80% of it right there. Girls like to see effort. Girls like to feel wanted. Girls like to be complimented.

If it's a girl you deem as high priority, then you need to have 2-3 solid chat sessions every day.
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#3
If you're getting lots of matches thats the biggest potential problem already solved. As you're already working with allot of leads just keep things basic, to the point and be going for the date within a few messages. I really see no point in investing in loads of texting with someone you've never met. You should understand that most girls who use apps like tinder are never going to meet up with you no matter how good your 'text game' is.

Online game is just having great pics (helps if you're good looking ofc) > basic chat/logistics/finding available girls > meet up/bang.
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#4
(01-01-2021, 03:41 PM)Dash Wrote: Texting 101

If it's a girl you deem as high priority, then you need to have 2-3 solid chat sessions every day.

This might lead to higher success rate but it just turns texting into a part time job and imagine having to manage multiple girls who are used to frequent texting.
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#5
(01-01-2021, 03:41 PM)Dash Wrote: Texting 101

Good: Text often and in full sentences. Ask questions.

Bad: Text rarely. Short replies.

That is 80% of it right there. Girls like to see effort. Girls like to feel wanted. Girls like to be complimented.

If it's a girl you deem as high priority, then you need to have 2-3 solid chat sessions every day.

I think you're oversimplifying it. My text/online game used to be in the "I'm busy" frame and it worked for me, but only with 6/7s. With 8+, they need more comfort before agreeing to meet up.

I honestly think women see the guy who entertains them the most. It's crazy, but the best texter, not the best-looking guy wins. I know this because I was trying to meet a girl in the Philippines, super hot, and I couldn't. Months later I take this course by this dude who isn't that good looking but had a Tinder/texting hack scheme and he ended up meeting and banging her. He highlighted my profile in his group when I reached out to him as proof his system works because the girl met up with him instead of me.

You also doing mention anything about multimedia. Are all your texts just straight texts? Are they boring standard stuff? You write as if you're succeesful with texting so I maybe it's become who you are, but you're making it seem a lot easier and more straight-forward than it is.

(01-01-2021, 04:02 PM)samozk Wrote: If you're getting lots of matches thats the biggest potential problem already solved. As you're already working with allot of leads just keep things basic, to the point and be going for the date within a few messages. I really see no point in investing in loads of texting with someone you've never met. You should understand that most girls who use apps like tinder are never going to meet up with you no matter how good your 'text game' is.

Online game is just having great pics (helps if you're good looking ofc) > basic chat/logistics/finding available girls > meet up/bang.

Again, 8+ are not going on dates within a few messages....but maybe you can provide more details. Prove me wrong. I'm ready to learn.
OLG 9, DG 8, NG 5
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#6
(01-01-2021, 03:41 PM)Dash Wrote: Text often and in full sentences.  ...  you need to have 2-3 solid chat sessions every day.

This is awful.  Read rule #5:  heartiste.org/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon

(01-01-2021, 03:41 PM)Dash Wrote: Ask questions. 

Questions are needy and feminine.  They demand attention and suck value.

(01-01-2021, 03:41 PM)Dash Wrote: Girls like to see effort. Girls like to feel wanted. Girls like to be complimented.


What women like is not what they respond to.  Women like free drinks and text-entertainment while they f*ck other guys.  They are not attracted to thirsty text-beggars who make unreciprocated effort and give unwarranted compliments.

There are texting guides online.  The best text is often no text.  Texting is low-bandwidth.  That makes it hard to build value or be funny, and easy to be misunderstood.   If you have a good connection, then short, simple, logistical texts will work.
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#7
(01-01-2021, 04:37 PM)DVR Wrote:
(01-01-2021, 03:41 PM)Dash Wrote: Texting 101

Good: Text often and in full sentences. Ask questions.

Bad: Text rarely. Short replies.

That is 80% of it right there. Girls like to see effort. Girls like to feel wanted. Girls like to be complimented.

If it's a girl you deem as high priority, then you need to have 2-3 solid chat sessions every day.

I think you're oversimplifying it. My text/online game used to be in the "I'm busy" frame and it worked for me, but only with 6/7s. With 8+, they need more comfort before agreeing to meet up.

I honestly think women see the guy who entertains them the most. It's crazy, but the best texter, not the best-looking guy wins. I know this because I was trying to meet a girl in the Philippines, super hot, and I couldn't. Months later I take this course by this dude who isn't that good looking but had a Tinder/texting hack scheme and he ended up meeting and banging her. He highlighted my profile in his group when I reached out to him as proof his system works because the girl met up with him instead of me.

You also doing mention anything about multimedia. Are all your texts just straight texts? Are they boring standard stuff? You write as if you're succeesful with texting so I maybe it's become who you are, but you're making it seem a lot easier and more straight-forward than it is.

(01-01-2021, 04:02 PM)samozk Wrote: If you're getting lots of matches thats the biggest potential problem already solved. As you're already working with allot of leads just keep things basic, to the point and be going for the date within a few messages. I really see no point in investing in loads of texting with someone you've never met. You should understand that most girls who use apps like tinder are never going to meet up with you no matter how good your 'text game' is.

Online game is just having great pics (helps if you're good looking ofc) > basic chat/logistics/finding available girls > meet up/bang.

Again, 8+ are not going on dates within a few messages....but maybe you can provide more details. Prove me wrong. I'm ready to learn.

There are not many girls I would judge as 8+ in my location as it is let alone online, but in my personal experience most girls will just waste your time so efficiency is important. its not a case of every 6 is going to be super easy to meet up with where as every 8 will be harder that we need special text game for. I banged a very attractive girl here a few weeks ago who I met up with after 3-4 messages, no games or flaking nonsense at all. During that time I got ghosted/flaked on by many more who were of lesser quality, such is the game. 

I think getting out 10% of your contacts from online game is pretty normal these days and if you're not wasting lots of time texting girls who will never meet up with you thats a plus. Thats just my 2 cents though, maybe some other guys can weigh in with better 'text game' knowledge...
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#8
Exclamation 
@Shifty

Quote:This might lead to higher success rate but it just turns texting into a part time job and imagine having to manage multiple girls who are used to frequent texting.

Proper dating with quality girls is a part time job. Shit might even be a full time job.

7s and 8s are not just gonna come straight over for a bang 5 minutes after matching. Generally speaking.

@DVR

Quote:I think you're oversimplifying it. My text/online game used to be in the "I'm busy" frame and it worked for me, but only with 6/7s. With 8+, they need more comfort before agreeing to meet up.

This is why I specifically said do this with girls you deem as high priority. 


Quote:I honestly think women see the guy who entertains them the most. It's crazy, but the best texter, not the best-looking guy wins. I know this because I was trying to meet a girl in the Philippines, super hot, and I couldn't. Months later I take this course by this dude who isn't that good looking but had a Tinder/texting hack scheme and he ended up meeting and banging her. He highlighted my profile in his group when I reached out to him as proof his system works because the girl met up with him instead of me.


For women it's a combination of things. Looks (with regards to their own personal preferences), personality, money, job etc. However, for a normal female, personality/game + effort is usually the most important. 

Absolutely, here in Vietnam, many quality girls will unmatch / unfriend me with the quickness if I don't seem to be making an effort or go ghost. Why should they? They have plenty of dudes willing and ready to invest effort and time in them. 

That dude is basically following my texting 101 guide. 

No need to make something complicated when it doesn't need to be. Lots of guys completely overthink and complicate dating and women. 


Quote:You also doing mention anything about multimedia. Are all your texts just straight texts? Are they boring standard stuff? You write as if you're succeesful with texting so I maybe it's become who you are, but you're making it seem a lot easier and more straight-forward than it is.

I am terrible with texting by choice. 30% of my matches unfriend me on due to infrequent / lazy texts. But I know why they are unhappy and do it. If I wanted to, I can do a 180 with my texting, and have in spurts with girls I really want to meet. 

Girls don't care how you show effort and make them feel special and wanted. They don't care how you make them laugh. The important thing is those things are being done. 

Personally, I do use emojies and gifs sometimes.

@Klh


Quote:This is awful.  Read rule #5:  heartiste.org/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon

I don't typically follow any "pua" guys stuff. Most have personality and social issues. Not saying herstie does, as I never met or seen him operate. 

He is arguing 2/3 and I am arguing 3/3. Not much difference. 


Quote:Questions are needy and feminine.  They demand attention and suck value.

Once can easily switch it to "Tell me about yourself". "Tell me what you like to do in your free time" etc

Asking simply basic questions tho imo doesnt make anyone needy. I wouldn't call a female needy for her asking me what food I like. I would call a female needy for complaining that I don't message her enough or that I am going to hangout with my friends. 


Quote:What women like is not what they respond to.  Women like free drinks and text-entertainment while they f*ck other guys.  They are not attracted to thirsty text-beggars who make unreciprocated effort and give unwarranted compliments.

Women also respond to what they like. Lots of average dudes got better looking women for being funny, complimenting the girl and putting in effort. 

Not many 7+ women who are fucking men for free without something in return. Whether that be dates, gifts, trips, compliments, time spent talking/chatting etc

I think you have me confused. I do mean constantly bombard a woman with texts all day. 

I also don't mean to be showing effort while she isn't. If a girl is fine with short replies and minimal texting then good for you. However, most quality girls in my experience that wont work for long. 

All I am saying is, at least check in on a girl 2-3 times a day with proper sentences. I don't mean to have 1 hour long texting sessions 2-3 times a day. Assuming you deem the girl high priority.
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#9
(01-02-2021, 01:08 AM)Dash Wrote: @Shifty

Quote:This might lead to higher success rate but it just turns texting into a part time job and imagine having to manage multiple girls who are used to frequent texting.

Proper dating with quality girls is a part time job. Shit might even be a full time job.

7s and 8s are not just gonna come straight over for a bang 5 minutes after matching. Generally speaking.

@DVR

Quote:I think you're oversimplifying it. My text/online game used to be in the "I'm busy" frame and it worked for me, but only with 6/7s. With 8+, they need more comfort before agreeing to meet up.

This is why I specifically said do this with girls you deem as high priority. 


Quote:I honestly think women see the guy who entertains them the most. It's crazy, but the best texter, not the best-looking guy wins. I know this because I was trying to meet a girl in the Philippines, super hot, and I couldn't. Months later I take this course by this dude who isn't that good looking but had a Tinder/texting hack scheme and he ended up meeting and banging her. He highlighted my profile in his group when I reached out to him as proof his system works because the girl met up with him instead of me.


For women it's a combination of things. Looks (with regards to their own personal preferences), personality, money, job etc. However, for a normal female, personality/game + effort is usually the most important. 

Absolutely, here in Vietnam, many quality girls will unmatch / unfriend me with the quickness if I don't seem to be making an effort or go ghost. Why should they? They have plenty of dudes willing and ready to invest effort and time in them. 

That dude is basically following my texting 101 guide. 

No need to make something complicated when it doesn't need to be. Lots of guys completely overthink and complicate dating and women. 


Quote:You also doing mention anything about multimedia. Are all your texts just straight texts? Are they boring standard stuff? You write as if you're succeesful with texting so I maybe it's become who you are, but you're making it seem a lot easier and more straight-forward than it is.

I am terrible with texting by choice. 30% of my matches unfriend me on due to infrequent / lazy texts. But I know why they are unhappy and do it. If I wanted to, I can do a 180 with my texting, and have in spurts with girls I really want to meet. 

Girls don't care how you show effort and make them feel special and wanted. They don't care how you make them laugh. The important thing is those things are being done. 

Personally, I do use emojies and gifs sometimes.

@Klh


Quote:This is awful.  Read rule #5:  heartiste.org/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon

I don't typically follow any "pua" guys stuff. Most have personality and social issues. Not saying herstie does, as I never met or seen him operate. 

He is arguing 2/3 and I am arguing 3/3. Not much difference. 


Quote:Questions are needy and feminine.  They demand attention and suck value.

Once can easily switch it to "Tell me about yourself". "Tell me what you like to do in your free time" etc

Asking simply basic questions tho imo doesnt make anyone needy. I wouldn't call a female needy for her asking me what food I like. I would call a female needy for complaining that I don't message her enough or that I am going to hangout with my friends. 


Quote:What women like is not what they respond to.  Women like free drinks and text-entertainment while they f*ck other guys.  They are not attracted to thirsty text-beggars who make unreciprocated effort and give unwarranted compliments.

Women also respond to what they like. Lots of average dudes got better looking women for being funny, complimenting the girl and putting in effort. 

Not many 7+ women who are fucking men for free without something in return. Whether that be dates, gifts, trips, compliments, time spent talking/chatting etc

I think you have me confused. I do mean constantly bombard a woman with texts all day. 

I also don't mean to be showing effort while she isn't. If a girl is fine with short replies and minimal texting then good for you. However, most quality girls in my experience that wont work for long. 

All I am saying is, at least check in on a girl 2-3 times a day with proper sentences. I don't mean to have 1 hour long texting sessions 2-3 times a day. Assuming you deem the girl high priority.

Heartiste/Roissy has/had excellent advice for gaming young(er) cold and indifferent Western-ized women.  I'd get (and have gotten ghosted) for marginal texting effort here in Colombia.  (Non-skanky) Girls are looking for (and expecting) some sort of emotional investment from you - no doubt.
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#10
Good topic.

I don't run game online and I approach in favorable environments. Also, I only ask the number of green light girls who seem into me. I would say I probably go on a date with about half of them.

I don't believe I have super text game, but I don't think at this point it's a particular weakness. A lot of it at this point is instinct through trial and error.

Personal notes on my style for texting leads and new girls:
  • Before coordinating a meet, overall philosophy is to not fuck up, probe interest/enthusiasm, keep it playful, keep it brief, and angle for a meet.

  • I keep my capitalization setting on an all lower case font, but I spell out my words (i.e. no u, ur, wyd, hru,.. etc). It feel it gives an impression of breeziness and insouciance without looking like a teenage moron.
     
  • I don't text girls long paragraphs. It strikes me as overbearing and verbose to send multi-line blocks of text. If I'm sending something that's 3 sentences, I'll often break it up into 3 single statement messages.

  • No sexual innuendo or compliments.

  • If she responds to a feeler message (joke, remark about something, photo of something amusing), I'm slow to respond. Almost never within the hour, but always within the same day.

  • If I'm doing something interesting or notable, I'll often make it a point to send her a photo to gauge her interest in responding/interacting.

  • I won't let text exchanges go back and forth too long and drag out. Also, I want her message to ideally be the last one in the sequence.

  • I use emojis and gifs sparingly. Never more than one emoji, and never any of the gay ones (like the eyes with the stars or hearts, the dancer, the guy raising his hand, or the monkey covering his mouth). The gifs, I will send as a response and for light humor, never anything over the top.

  • I use the exclamation mark seldom and ask few questions. If I do ask a question, it'll usually be something playful.

  • When coordinating a meet, I'll try to arrange it within the next day or 3. The day of the meeting, I'll ping her beforehand and assume it's still on.  

    > hey ___ hope your day's been good
    > probably best to send you an uber this evening
    > if you don't need it we can meet outside the 7-11
     

Curious what others are doing.
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#11
(01-02-2021, 10:41 PM)billydingdong Wrote: > hey ___ hope your day's been good
> probably best to send you an uber this evening
> if you don't need it we can meet outside the 7-11

Do you send girls an uber in the US? Is it for girls you've already met or first dates also?
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#12
(01-02-2021, 11:57 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:
(01-02-2021, 10:41 PM)billydingdong Wrote: > hey ___ hope your day's been good
> probably best to send you an uber this evening
> if you don't need it we can meet outside the 7-11

Do you send girls an uber in the US? Is it for girls you've already met or first dates also?

In the usa, no. I'll just suggest to meet at the venue or a landmark nearby. I date much less here though.

Main thing I do, whether in latin America or USA, is assume the date is still on in my message the day of. No texts like 'hey are we still gonna meet up??'
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#13
(01-02-2021, 10:41 PM)billydingdong Wrote: [*]If I'm doing something interesting or notable, I'll often make it a point to send her a photo to gauge her interest in responding/interacting.
[*]


Instagram works well for this, just post a story every once in a while. It helps you get a feel for which girls are interested and which ones not so much (as the interested ones are more likely to reply to your story).

My IG isn't great by any means, my pictures could be improved massively, and what I really can't be arsed to do is to post stories and attention whoring all day every day. But I do it every now and then because it works. It shows them I have a cool life. It's like slow cooking many girls, rather than zooming in on particular girls via text.

You can do it the other way around too where you reply to a story she posts, although be very careful with that. I never engage with girls who post attention whoring or slutty photos in their stories, or other types of stories that are meant for thirsty guys who are gonna thirst. Only the ones where I can come in with a witty reply which then serves as a restart text.


Realizing this is slightly off topic, but on the other hand not really, as this very much goes hand in hand with texting in general these days if you ask me.
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#14
Generally, I don't think the texting holds too much weight. Its only about 10% of it. 80% is your photos. You can definitely lose girls from dumb texts though so the idea is to get her out quickly and keep your investment low. I do think hotter girls (7-8+) are harder to get but most of it is an SMV difference and a her perceived SMV compared to yours. You're not gonna raise it much over text. You demonstrate value from the approach(or photos for online) and sometimes your IG can help if you have lots of followers(10k+) with a very high value lifestyle and top notch photos. 

Put a little more effort into the hotter girls but not too much and realize its mostly a value thing. Also, the hotter girls are also more likely to want money, sponsors, a super high SMV dude and just outright attention and followers more than meeting some decent value but not that high guy for a drink on a Thursday night. Not to say you can't get a few here and there.

Edit: you can still say the right things online and try to but realize it's not THAT big of a factor.
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#15
I lift this up this because my texting game sucks or is inefficient. I'm in Mexico and whilst I get matches, I usually go straight to suggest them a meeting like "hey, we can meet today" and see their reaction that is mostly "I can't today" and if yes "what's the plan?". I tell them we can listening to music in my place and they sometimes don't understand what is "mi lugar" so I have to correct it "the place where I live". Then I ask right away what hour is suitable to them and ask their WhatsApp.

Any comments how to improve and making more comfort to avoid flaking or them changing their mind at the meeting point (they might say if we could go to a coffeeshop or to walk instead)? I hate smalltalk so I usually skip the como estas bien bs.
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#16
I sometimes write some basic messages (max 2-3 per side) and then send a prewritten text a la "Hey, I know this is spontaenous, but you look really beautiful and I am a very spontaneous person and fan of real encounters. Would you be up to just go for a drink and find out if we vibe in reality, too?"

I know its a questions and investment, BUT you also have the lets see if we vibe part and just "commanding" a lets meet would be too direct so early on in the convo. Especially suited for the Latin market with all the time wasters, and where your value is higher anyways. But in my experience, it can filter out some time wasters. Those, who are interested will either say yes and are down for coordinating the date or get at least more direct from their side and ask all their stupid little questions in one message. So you can warp it up after 2-3 more messages.
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