How To Be Irrationally Self-Confident
#1
Like the subject says, what are some ways to be extremely self-confident.

I am not talking about ways to day-game or approach girls, it's much bigger than that.

I am talking about having so much confidence and energy that like-minded people are naturally attracted to you.

Some Famous People that might have that: Will Smith, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, ...

I am more interested in ways to increase my natural confidence as I don't see myself as extremely confident (forget about girls - they don't matter, and are usually a side-effect of confidence).

(this was a post I bookmarked from RVF, I wanted to read it but it's gone and not archived either - I'd love to hear thoughts about this)
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#2
Having confidence and energy are 2 different things, you mentioned Elon Musk, he is an introvert, watch the Joe Rogan podcast with him, it gives a good sense of his personality.

One good way to be confident is to achieve things, you do this with hard work, be it with chicks, professionally or by achieving personal projects.
It is like professional athletes, you build your confidence by going at it, hard work and repetition, you then realize your potential, you overcome obstacles and when other obstacles come by you know you faced some shit in the past and been able to manage it.

It is like an internal strength that you build up, some younger guys can seem confident but it is often just cockiness, when the shit hits the fan you usually see who is who.
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#3
Repeatedly throw yourself into situations where you want to be irrationally self-confident until you are?

That's what I learned so far from skiing and day game, off the top of my head.

Not that I've 100% mastered either. Tons of fails along the way. But better than where I started.
If you haven't met anyone, I'll assume you're lying (h/t to Teedub from the old forum)
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#4
(12-13-2020, 05:23 PM)Kentemo Wrote: Like the subject says, what are some ways to be extremely self-confident.

I am not talking about ways to day-game or approach girls, it's much bigger than that.

I am talking about having so much confidence and energy that like-minded people are naturally attracted to you.

Some Famous People that might have that: Will Smith, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, ...

I am more interested in ways to increase my natural confidence as I don't see myself as extremely confident (forget about girls - they don't matter, and are usually a side-effect of confidence).

(this was a post I bookmarked from RVF, I wanted to read it but it's gone and not archived either - I'd love to hear thoughts about this)

Confidence is simply the reputation that you have with yourself. 

In other words... it's your way to reflect on yourself and know that you're someone who's capable of doing great things because you've either done those things in the past or made an effort to achieve those said things. The celebrities that you mentioned above are all naturally confident because they've worked hard and achieved great things. Obviously, they were not born oozing confidence, in fact, I bet if you were to talk to Jeff Bezos in 1999 vs 2020, you'll notice 2 completely different people. 

So now to answer the question, "How do I become more confident?", these are some things that will help as long as you make an effort. 

1. Constantly Challenge Yourself/Take Risks

The longer you stay in your comfort zone, the less likely you are going to become confident. Why? Because successfully challenging yourself and taking risks is like food for your confidence. The more you feed it, the more it'll grow! The best thing to do is to start small and then work your way up to bigger challenges. Guaranteed you will become a different person after 1 year. 

 2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

This should be common-sense but unfortunately, a lot of people think of other people who are more successful than them as their own personal benchmarks for what they need to be like. Even in your original post, you mentioned certain celebrities, and I can understand why you brought them up, however, they are not you and you are not them. The perfect type of confidence is based on your own unique qualities and characteristics, not on that of some random stranger. 

3. Lift more weights and jerkoff less

Pretty self-explanatory so I'm not going to expand too much. Plus, there's tons of great material on here and other places online that dive further into the benefits of these things. 

Hope this helps, but remember: Reading a forum post is not going to make you more confident; taking action will 

Best regards, 

BB
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#5
I would forget about emulating people in the public eye. We only see a glimmer of what they're really about, and that glimmer is designed to sell shit like movie tickets.

Do a lot of things that are difficult and be comfortable failing at them until you get good, eventually you'll see something you want to do and think "great, something new to learn" rather than "oh shit, that looks hard". When this process stops being stressful and starts being enjoyable you'll feel better in conditions of uncertainty.

Confidence should never be irrational, we should all want to get to a point where we have a reasonable sense of who we are and what we are capable of.
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#6
My irrationally overconfident coworker just got fired for repeatedly challenging the boss' authority.
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#7
Make a habit/game to speak to everyone you encounter, and discover something about them. I'm talking everyone - the person in line at the grocery store, your waiter, etc. This does two things.

First, it helps you practice social interactions so you get calibrated. It builds experience with small talk, and this experience set makes opening girls less threatening.

Second, like Dale Carnegie recommended, it makes you interested in others. People don't just volunteer info about themselves. You have to convey interest and and a non-judgmental attituted. That is a habit and a skill.

Count how many people you discovered something about each day. Track this over time. You will notice improvement.

With Covid, this might be more difficult than normal but try.
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#8
(12-13-2020, 05:23 PM)Kentemo Wrote: Some Famous People that might have that: Will Smith, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, ...

There are not irrationally self-confident they are rationally self-confident because they have done things and attained status. Why don't you trying doing things and achieving status? Then maybe you will feel more confident.

Guys think game is some kind of short cut to real life.
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#9
Thanks for the ideas all.

(12-14-2020, 04:58 PM)churros Wrote: Guys think game is some kind of short cut to real life.

I wasn't thinking that, lol. Just starting a discussion.
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#10
To me it's always been an issue of my mind wandering and over thinking everything. Weed and alcohol helped me live in the moment more.
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#11
(12-14-2020, 05:15 PM)Kentemo Wrote: Thanks for the ideas all.

(12-14-2020, 04:58 PM)churros Wrote: Guys think game is some kind of short cut to real life.

I wasn't thinking that, lol. Just starting a discussion.

I'm not trying to be a dick, just pointing out a flaw in your premise. You can fake confidence but you'll be sniffed out eventually. My best pulls come from when I was in a legitimately good mood from having achieved something. You can replace that with drink and drugs but what seems preferable?
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#12
(12-13-2020, 11:44 PM)Suits Wrote: My irrationally overconfident coworker just got fired for repeatedly challenging the boss' authority.

Sounds like ya boy was too much of an ALPHA DOG for your beta as fuck company bro
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#13
Churros has the right idea.

Youll be better off seeking how to become justifiably and sustainably confident.

That comes from having something to be confident about — being in shape, having domains where you progress and excel (from work to hobbies), having personal style and maintaining dignity of appearance, having unique experiences, or having others in your life (friends, lovers, family, colleagues) who value your contributions and/or treasure your company.

Speaking from personal and pained experience, real confidence is easiest to come by when you've already done the hard stuff — and continuing to make those efforts required to keep your shit in order across several areas of life.
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#14
(12-14-2020, 08:20 PM)Wintermute Wrote:
(12-13-2020, 11:44 PM)Suits Wrote: My irrationally overconfident coworker just got fired for repeatedly challenging the boss' authority.

Sounds like ya boy was too much of an ALPHA DOG for your beta as fuck company bro

My coworker was a woman.
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#15
(12-14-2020, 04:58 PM)churros Wrote: I'm not trying to be a dick, just pointing out a flaw in your premise. You can fake confidence but you'll be sniffed out eventually. My best pulls come from when I was in a legitimately good mood from having achieved something. You can replace that with drink and drugs but what seems preferable?

That's cool. I didn't think you were. Better to be to the point, instead of sugarcoating it.
Faking confidence, I don't see the point really, and I usually don't do that since I actually really prefer not to be the center of attention.

It's not that I don't have confidence talking to a girl. Sometimes I have, sometimes I don't, you know how it is. It all depends on mindset and mood as you said.

Speaking in larger groups, doing stand-up comedy, karaoke in front of a bar is a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY. I'd probably be the most unconfident person in that room haha. Again probably mindset, but it's the truth.

Gaming girls wasn't my main concern for asking this question, and I actually don't care anymore. Working remote from Latam did wonders for that type of confidence. I don't see picking girls up as an achievement either, since it's rather easy in these countries.

I was just talking about having confidence in all aspects of your life. I honestly believe there are very few people that have that. You'll need to be comfortable in all situations.
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