Enduring the Lone Wolf Life
#41
(11-09-2020, 06:07 PM)billydingdong Wrote:
(11-09-2020, 01:16 PM)irishguy Wrote: This is a depressing post for someone in his early 30s who didn't enjoy his youth. I've always felt that I was unique in having a 20s that was plagued by mental health difficulties, poor self-esteem, and depression. Your assertion that mostly everyone enjoys their youth confirms that. 
...



You mention that you have a history of mental health problems and that's unfortunate and a real obstacle. But is it truly permanent and absolutely insurmountable? Are there absolutely no moments of relief or enjoyment?


Is there anything you can do — like drinking less, exercising a bit more, eating better, spending time with family/friends, applying yourself to a hobby — to alleviate suffering from 90% of the time to 70% of the time? 

Forgetting about pussy, wouldn't even that be a win be worth fighting for if only just a few moments of tranquility and clarity? 

And also, as to your actual problems, how can you be certain that they're permanent or unresolvable?

You have low self esteem... up to now. You feel lost and wayward... up to now. Your brain is depressed... up to now.

I appreciate your reply man, but there is nothing whatsoever in my life that points to my problems being anything other than insurmountable. 

Put it like this, my brain still often harks back to the first and only time I was in love, which was now 12 years ago because it was the last time I felt anything approaching happiness in life. I even still check that girl's Instagram sometimes even though it ended 9 years ago with her because my brain is desperately clinging to the only past reference of not feeling pure negativity.

There are very few moments of relief or enjoyment. I tried drinking less, exercising more, giving up porn, meditating; none of it done much. In fact, doing those things took away my only real outlets for escapism.

I've looked into various psychological interventions: CBT, ACT, and standard psychotherapy. None of it does anything for me. CBT says your thoughts are distorted and tries to change them, but that doesn't explain why nearly every thought that enters my mind is a negative one. ACT says to accept negative thoughts as part of the human condition, which would be fine if just a proportion of my thoughts were negative, but 99% of mine are of that nature making it impossible to accept. 

The final option is antidepressants. But I've read too many horror stories online to give them a real trial. Everything from your dick not working anymore to increased suicidal ideations to increased anxiety to weight gain to emotional blunting.

I think there are some people for whom positive mental health is impossible to achieve. I am veering dangerously close to the abyss with my thought process lately.

I see my future as hopeless in all important domains: there's no career I give enough of a fuck about to retrain for and trade my time for (believe me, I've tortured myself trying to find a purpose this way) and I have only slept with 3 different women. I only have 2 friends and I rarely see them. To top it off, I wasted my 20s in depression and social anxiety while everyone else was out enjoying life.
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#42
(11-15-2020, 02:41 PM)irishguy Wrote: ...

I think there are some people for whom positive mental health is impossible to achieve. I am veering dangerously close to the abyss with my thought process lately.

I see my future as hopeless in all important domains: there's no career I give enough of a fuck about to retrain for and trade my time for (believe me, I've tortured myself trying to find a purpose this way) and I have only slept with 3 different women. I only have 2 friends and I rarely see them. To top it off, I wasted my 20s in depression and social anxiety while everyone else was out enjoying life.

If you suspect it's a chemical issue in your brain, then you likely ought to see a psych doc.

Admittedly, the current social environment and structure of modern society is not conducive to mental wellbeing, but having negative thoughts 100% of the time and not giving a fuck about anything is indicative of a broken and improperly functioning mind. I say that as a simple statement of observation, and not as a condemnation.

Regarding your comment on antidepressants, you need to keep in mind that there are millions who respond well to them. You hear about the horror stories online because those disturbed and afflicted will chirp. On the other hand, those who get relief from them are more likely to just get on with the business of living.

In a related personal example, I've taken modafinil for fatigue issues that I've had at times, and it's been brilliant. However, I can scour the internet for modafinil horror stories and find them if I were so inclined.

I'll repeat, and I say this gently, you would do well to stop flagellating yourself for time lost and idealizing the lives of others.

Yeah some people had some pretty good times in their 20's... while also making awful decisions.

Many mismanaged finances by making dumb purchases and going into debt unnecessarily. Many worked shit jobs for overly long periods of times with banal and uninspiring coworkers. Many neglected their bodies and got fat and gross. Many became addicted and overly invested in the retarded social media game. Many were entangled in shit relationships. Many encumbered themselves with children earlier than planned.

Imo, your 20's weren't properly 'wasted' if they were largely compromised by poor mental health.

The real waste of life at this point would be giving up completely. So long as a minimal material baseline is met and so long as you can muster the energy and health to get yourself there, there is plenty to enjoy and take delight in even if your social life and romantic life never completely flourish.

You're not the only one out there with the problems you've got.

The cold truth is that we all have to find a way to save ourselves because nobody else is coming. I hope you find a will and way to continue the climb and get shit taken care of.
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#43
I also wasted much of my early life.

I also have a pessimistic attitude some days.

But I've accepted life the way it is.


Even wealthy and famous people get depressed.. Like Anthony Bourdain.

The trick is accepting that life is shit most of the time, some days are ok. Just accept it and move on.

There has to be some things you enjoy doing, even a little bit, right?
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#44
(11-15-2020, 05:16 PM)Blake2 Wrote: I also wasted much of my early life.

I also have a pessimistic attitude some days.

But I've accepted life the way it is.


Even wealthy and famous people get depressed.. Like Anthony Bourdain.

The trick is accepting that life is shit most of the time, some days are ok. Just accept it and move on.

There has to be some things you enjoy doing, even a little bit, right?

I find it interesting when it comes to rich people or celebrities who are depressed. I often see them write about this how they are depressed despite having constant money and freedom of life. It made me wonder if people like that are depressed cause they don't know where to go after getting to the economic top. Maybe they were likely sold a dream of happiness, and when they got there, found that money was not the be-all they expected. You can buy whatever food or products you want for the rest of your life, but at the top, it's empty. Being a financial hermit in a way. And the types of people who become rich through acting or entertainment were never made for that lifestyle. This thread alone shows that it's already hard to do even for independent minded men, so imagine women and blue pill men that tend to be in these circles having to face the reality of being at the top. It's torture for them. I believe they were probably happier not being rich and being around social circle of normal people. Meanwhile, if I got more money, all it would mean to me is to do more of what I am already doing in life.
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#45
(11-15-2020, 05:16 PM)Blake2 Wrote: There has to be some things you enjoy doing,  even a little bit,  right?

I enjoy some things but they are mostly vices. Porn was a big one in my 20s; I used to watch it for 2 hours per day, sometimes more. I've given it up since September because I was an addict. I tried moderating in my late 20s to once or twice per week but that was still 4 hours per week lost on porn. I like a drink because it quells my overactive mind, but overindulgence leads to poor physical health and worsens anxiety so I've tried to moderate that pleasure. 

In terms of more positive things, I started learning the piano last year and I've enjoyed that somewhat but most days I'm just not in the mindset to play. I like to play 5-a-side football (soccer) but it's not possible during covid and because I've no regular group to play with, I normally have to rely on Meetup events, which I talk myself out of going to when I feel anxious or awkward. Eating good food, particularly different food around the world, is also something I enjoy and value. And of course, travel, especially solo trips.

(11-15-2020, 05:10 PM)billydingdong Wrote: I'll repeat, and I say this gently, you would do well to stop flagellating yourself for time lost and idealizing the lives of others.

Yeah some people had some pretty good times in their 20's... while also making awful decisions.

Many mismanaged finances by making dumb purchases and going into debt unnecessarily. Many worked shit jobs for overly long periods of times with banal and uninspiring coworkers. Many neglected their bodies and got fat and gross. Many became addicted and overly invested in the retarded social media game. Many were entangled in shit relationships.  Many encumbered themselves with children earlier than planned.

Imo, your 20's weren't properly 'wasted' if they were largely compromised by poor mental health.

The real waste of life at this point would be giving up completely. So long as a minimal material baseline is met and so long as you can muster the energy and health to get yourself there, there is plenty  to enjoy and take delight in even if your social life and romantic life never completely flourish.

You're not the only one out there with the problems you've got.

The cold truth is that we all have to find a way to save ourselves because nobody else is coming. I hope you find a will and way to continue the climb and get shit taken care of.

Your advice is much appreciated and helpful. I haven't elaborated too much on my personal background, but I made some of those severe mistakes you allude to in my 20s. 

I didn't pay enough attention to physical fitness, so while I didn't get fat, I was never in good shape; which I'm trying to rectify by first losing my slight beer belly and then lifting heavy to gain muscle.

I stayed in a very unhappy relationship from 25-32 because my aforementioned shit self-esteem resulted in me thinking I didn't deserve any better. 

Fundamentally, though, I have always been a negative unhappy person and I can't blame these life events for causing this.  I think I need to go down the route of trying antidepressants.
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#46
(11-15-2020, 06:12 PM)irishguy Wrote:
(11-15-2020, 05:16 PM)Blake2 Wrote: There has to be some things you enjoy doing,  even a little bit,  right?

I enjoy some things but they are mostly vices. Porn was a big one in my 20s; I used to watch it for 2 hours per day, sometimes more. I've given it up since September because I was an addict. I tried moderating in my late 20s to once or twice per week but that was still 4 hours per week lost on porn. I like a drink because it quells my overactive mind, but overindulgence leads to poor physical health and worsens anxiety so I've tried to moderate that pleasure. 

In terms of more positive things, I started learning the piano last year and I've enjoyed that somewhat but most days I'm just not in the mindset to play. I like to play 5-a-side football (soccer) but it's not possible during covid and because I've no regular group to play with, I normally have to rely on Meetup events, which I talk myself out of going to when I feel anxious or awkward. Eating good food, particularly different food around the world, is also something I enjoy and value. And of course, travel, especially solo trips.

(11-15-2020, 05:10 PM)billydingdong Wrote: I'll repeat, and I say this gently, you would do well to stop flagellating yourself for time lost and idealizing the lives of others.

Yeah some people had some pretty good times in their 20's... while also making awful decisions.

Many mismanaged finances by making dumb purchases and going into debt unnecessarily. Many worked shit jobs for overly long periods of times with banal and uninspiring coworkers. Many neglected their bodies and got fat and gross. Many became addicted and overly invested in the retarded social media game. Many were entangled in shit relationships.  Many encumbered themselves with children earlier than planned.

Imo, your 20's weren't properly 'wasted' if they were largely compromised by poor mental health.

The real waste of life at this point would be giving up completely. So long as a minimal material baseline is met and so long as you can muster the energy and health to get yourself there, there is plenty  to enjoy and take delight in even if your social life and romantic life never completely flourish.

You're not the only one out there with the problems you've got.

The cold truth is that we all have to find a way to save ourselves because nobody else is coming. I hope you find a will and way to continue the climb and get shit taken care of.

Your advice is much appreciated and helpful. I haven't elaborated too much on my personal background, but I made some of those severe mistakes you allude to in my 20s. 

I didn't pay enough attention to physical fitness, so while I didn't get fat, I was never in good shape; which I'm trying to rectify by first losing my slight beer belly and then lifting heavy to gain muscle.

I stayed in a very unhappy relationship from 25-32 because my aforementioned shit self-esteem resulted in me thinking I didn't deserve any better. 

Fundamentally, though, I have always been a negative unhappy person and I can't blame these life events for causing this.  I think I need to go down the route of trying antidepressants.

Most people waste their youth in some way, shape or form. Hindsight gives you the wisdom of age the ability to look back on things you've done with a view to not repeating your mistakes.

I spent my late teens/early twenties in the drug scene and those years are more or less a blur to me now. I wrapped myself around the twist thinking about how much time I wasted and how much I needed to catch up with everyone else, which was the catalyst for me to get out and work at a career. Having done that for a while, I'm looking back at a basing a decade plus of work over FOMO and anxiety about income and wondering what the end game of that is. More change will come over the next year or two.


I see none of this as a waste. There have been a few times I've needed to reinvent myself so I can grow into the person I want to be, I expect this will happen again in the future and I can't wait to see what that looks like!

You sound like you realise you're in that period of transition but are a) having a hard time shedding your old skin, and b) are perhaps a little afraid of what the next step will actually be. Therapy might be helpful if this is something you can't move past on your own, there is only so much a bunch of flogs on the internet can say.

Lastly - PM me if you ever want to talk shit about learning piano, I've been at on and off for 3 decades. Always love talking music.
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#47
Hey man, there are actually not that many people who have life figured out. I know tons of people who didn't progress at all after the age of 28. Basically kept doing the same things over without going anywhere, and with diminishing returns. That's very common. Or people who had a pretty good trajectory, but who kinda got stuck because they didn't keep up with the evolving economy. Working in advertising is such an example. It used be kind of a glamorous field, now many people are struggling because traditional ad agencies are losing relevancy. Many such examples. So just because someone had a good time 10 years ago doesn't mean much. I'm sure they have some nice memories, but life is now in the present.

You can literally just pick a field a that's interesting to you (tip: a field around digital tech), and go into it. Within two years you can carve out a niche for yourself, get a new career, meet new people through your job, get a remote position, and check out some cool countries.

There are really many people who go into a new field all the time, regardless of age. Technology is moving very quickly, and new paths are opening up all the time. So it's not like most people have an established position and can coast along for the rest of their lives. Actually very few people can do that.

I would just start somewhere, learn some new skills and apply them. Once you have some cash, get some new clothes, you can really transform yourself with a new look. The past doesn't matter, for no one. Every day is a new day.
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#48
(11-09-2020, 05:53 AM)Dali Wrote: There's already been some excellent advice posted on this thread but I wanted to offer an additional point.

I think that the manosphere/money-twitter cliche of "cutting out the weak links", or whatever other way to suggest that you should formally cut ties with old friends the moment that you become successful (however you want to define) is one of the absolute worst pieces of advice out there.

For one, people tend to view success through their own lens, and it's pretty rare to see people who are just failing at every aspect of life. More importantly though, the friendships you form earlier (say before age ~25) tend to be the strongest ones because of the time aspect, AND because they aren't built on some sort of quid-pro-quo dynamic. Of course, you can make friends later in life, they're just more likely to be circumstantial (ie: coworkers) or based on benefits you offer to each other (ie: a rich guy being friends w/a dude who has great game).

It seems to me that the reality is the other way around.

When one becomes successful, particularly if it is significantly greater than average, it is the herd that casts out the achiever.

Tall poppy syndrome is real; nobody likes their lack of genuine achievements reflected by one of their own.

"It's lonely at the top" is a widely used phrase because it's true.
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#49
(11-16-2020, 12:33 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:
(11-09-2020, 05:53 AM)Dali Wrote: There's already been some excellent advice posted on this thread but I wanted to offer an additional point.

I think that the manosphere/money-twitter cliche of "cutting out the weak links", or whatever other way to suggest that you should formally cut ties with old friends the moment that you become successful (however you want to define) is one of the absolute worst pieces of advice out there.

For one, people tend to view success through their own lens, and it's pretty rare to see people who are just failing at every aspect of life. More importantly though, the friendships you form earlier (say before age ~25) tend to be the strongest ones because of the time aspect, AND because they aren't built on some sort of quid-pro-quo dynamic. Of course, you can make friends later in life, they're just more likely to be circumstantial (ie: coworkers) or based on benefits you offer to each other (ie: a rich guy being friends w/a dude who has great game).

It seems to me that the reality is the other way around.

When one becomes successful, particularly if it is significantly greater than average, it is the herd that casts out the achiever.

Tall poppy syndrome is real; nobody likes their lack of genuine achievements reflected by one of their own.

"It's lonely at the top" is a widely used phrase because it's true.

I suspect this is what happened to me at some point. I was getting showing too much progress and achievement, and I now realize that the reason some former friends of mines acted out against me, quite randomly too, was because I wasn't depressed or showing any signs of failure. They would always complain about their flaws and shortcomings, or how they wish their life was better, then someone like me walks in and shows the opposite of that. My fault was in not reeling that in fast enough to at least try to show I am struggling, too. Hindsight 20/20. My wisdom now would have definitely helped back then.
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#50
(11-15-2020, 06:12 PM)irishguy Wrote: Your advice is much appreciated and helpful. I haven't elaborated too much on my personal background, but I made some of those severe mistakes you allude to in my 20s. 

I didn't pay enough attention to physical fitness, so while I didn't get fat, I was never in good shape; which I'm trying to rectify by first losing my slight beer belly and then lifting heavy to gain muscle.

I stayed in a very unhappy relationship from 25-32 because my aforementioned shit self-esteem resulted in me thinking I didn't deserve any better. 

Fundamentally, though, I have always been a negative unhappy person and I can't blame these life events for causing this.  I think I need to go down the route of trying antidepressants.

Even the mistakes you've committed are recoverable. You can probably get back into good enough shape within 6 months to a year. Wasting time in a long-term unhappy relationship sucks and is unfortunate, but if you're not making spousal support payments, it's at least over and in the rearview.

The point was that everyone fucks up in early adulthood to lesser or greater degrees. I'd rather have the problems you mentioned than 20+ kilos of fat, loads of debt, drug/alcohol addiction, or child support.

The mental health problems you say you deal with seem serious when considered over a long time frame.

If your mind and mood has been that way for your entire life, it wouldn't surprise me if you spend a good deal of effort in the future grappling to resolve those problems in a similar way that someone with a slow metabolism struggles with weight and has to stay more vigilant with their diet.

You seem to have a level of clarity about the problem at hand, which is more than a lot of people can say. Getting it under control, finding alleviation, and getting it 'fixed' is another task however.

Anyways, I'm no guru.. just some asshole on the internet coping and managing with different fucked up aspects of life. Pulling for you and I think you'll find the support and embrace of others on the forum if you can be proactive, effortful and diligent in getting yourself to a good baseline.
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#51
(11-15-2020, 06:12 PM)irishguy Wrote:
(11-15-2020, 05:16 PM)Blake2 Wrote: There has to be some things you enjoy doing,  even a little bit,  right?

I enjoy some things but they are mostly vices. Porn was a big one in my 20s; I used to watch it for 2 hours per day, sometimes more. I've given it up since September because I was an addict. I tried moderating in my late 20s to once or twice per week but that was still 4 hours per week lost on porn. I like a drink because it quells my overactive mind, but overindulgence leads to poor physical health and worsens anxiety so I've tried to moderate that pleasure. 

[Image: 9qladhjfvtq21.jpg]

(11-15-2020, 05:16 PM)irishguy Wrote: In terms of more positive things, I started learning the piano last year and I've enjoyed that somewhat but most days I'm just not in the mindset to play. I like to play 5-a-side football (soccer) but it's not possible during covid and because I've no regular group to play with, I normally have to rely on Meetup events, which I talk myself out of going to when I feel anxious or awkward. Eating good food, particularly different food around the world, is also something I enjoy and value. And of course, travel, especially solo trips.

You sound pretty normal, my dude. Here's your options.

Option A: Keep doing what you're doing which means you'll keep doing what you're doing followed by more of doing what you're doing.

Option B: Deep dive into some kind of remote skill, make new acquaintances, maybe even friends in the process, and after if you feel like going remote and exploring the world, solo, trying new dishes and enjoying life, then do it.

Think of the deep-dive as an admission ticket, the cost of entry, to a new, more interesting life full of cool experiences.  And then you get old and sick and sicker and then die.

Might as well enjoy things before that happens.  It's ok if you keep watching the porn, or not.  And it's ok if you enjoy some alcohol, or not.

What's not ok is to constantly beat yourself up.  Stop guilt tripping yourself. 

Remember, you can take option A.  That's totally ok. But if you're going to do that, then again, stop guilt tripping yourself.  Enjoy your wanks and your craft beer to the fullest, man.  Do both at the same time even, go all out, it's your life live it how you want to. Either way, just don't beat yourself up over it.  Take it easy on yourself, you're not a bad person, you don't need to be punished, and you're not broken, you don't need to be fixed.

You're just you, normal dude figuring things out, living his life.  Things are not supposed to be perfect, that's not how it works.  We all just move forward somehow, in real life the train tracks get built as the train's coming.
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#52
[quote pid='43331' dateline='1605780601']
You sound pretty normal, my dude. Here's your options.

Option A: Keep doing what you're doing which means you'll keep doing what you're doing followed by more of doing what you're doing.

Option B: Deep dive into some kind of remote skill, make new acquaintances, maybe even friends in the process, and after if you feel like going remote and exploring the world, solo, trying new dishes and enjoying life, then do it.

Think of the deep-dive as an admission ticket, the cost of entry, to a new, more interesting life full of cool experiences.  And then you get old and sick and sicker and then die.

Might as well enjoy things before that happens.  It's ok if you keep watching the porn, or not.  And it's ok if you enjoy some alcohol, or not.

What's not ok is to constantly beat yourself up.  Stop guilt tripping yourself. 

Remember, you can take option A.  That's totally ok.  But if you're going to do that, then again, stop guilt tripping yourself.  Enjoy your wanks and your craft beer to the fullest, man.  Do both at the same time even, go all out, it's your life live it how you want to.  Either way, just don't beat yourself up over it.  Take it easy on yourself, you're not a bad person, you don't need to be punished, and you're not broken, you don't need to be fixed.

You're just you, normal dude figuring things out, living his life.  Things are not supposed to be perfect, that's not how it works.  We all just move forward somehow, in real life the train tracks get built as the train's coming.
[/quote]


Thanks for your reply. I'm willing to make a deep dive into something but because I'm so indecisive, I can't pick that something. There is a shitty curse that comes with having a good base of general intelligence because it means you are interested in lots of different things. Any deep dive into one thing brings the opportunity cost of lost time I could've spent exploring other things. This is compounded if I end up hating the thing I choose to deep-dive into. I have coding, data analytics, and cybersecurity as 3 things I have considered deep-diving into and getting good at. I envy people who can just pick one thing and forget the rest.
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#53
(11-19-2020, 10:57 AM)irishguy Wrote: Thanks for your reply. I'm willing to make a deep dive into something but because I'm so indecisive, I can't pick that something. There is a shitty curse that comes with having a good base of general intelligence because it means you are interested in lots of different things. Any deep dive into one thing brings the opportunity cost of lost time I could've spent exploring other things. This is compounded if I end up hating the thing I choose to deep-dive into. I have coding, data analytics, and cybersecurity as 3 things I have considered deep-diving into and getting good at. I envy people who can just pick one thing and forget the rest.

Those are all viable.  Perhaps spend a week (or month) watching videos and doing light work on each, to see if any of those areas seem palatable, or even somewhat enjoyable.  Also, get an idea of the kinds of folks that go into those fields, make sure you're comfortable working with folks with those personality types.

That said, there's simply no way to know 100% if you'll be content engaging in that work until you do it.  You can have a general idea by doing research on it and working on activities, but there's no way to know 100% until you actually do it.  So that's just a risk that's inherent, there's no way around it, not completely anyhow.

You could very well end up hating the thing you choose to deep-dive into.  Think about folks that finish law school or medical school and then decide they don't want to practice their profession.  If that happens you take a look around and use the experience and knowledge you've then gained up until that point to course-correct and lay out a new path. 

It's all right, life keeps moving forward regardless.
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#54
(11-19-2020, 11:51 AM)longships Wrote:
(11-19-2020, 10:57 AM)irishguy Wrote: Thanks for your reply. I'm willing to make a deep dive into something but because I'm so indecisive, I can't pick that something. There is a shitty curse that comes with having a good base of general intelligence because it means you are interested in lots of different things. Any deep dive into one thing brings the opportunity cost of lost time I could've spent exploring other things. This is compounded if I end up hating the thing I choose to deep-dive into. I have coding, data analytics, and cybersecurity as 3 things I have considered deep-diving into and getting good at. I envy people who can just pick one thing and forget the rest.

Those are all viable.  Perhaps spend a week (or month) watching videos and doing light work on each, to see if any of those areas seem palatable, or even somewhat enjoyable.  Also, get an idea of the kinds of folks that go into those fields, make sure you're comfortable working with folks with those personality types.

That said, there's simply no way to know 100% if you'll be content engaging in that work until you do it.  You can have a general idea by doing research on it and working on activities, but there's no way to know 100% until you actually do it.  So that's just a risk that's inherent, there's no way around it, not completely anyhow.

You could very well end up hating the thing you choose to deep-dive into.  Think about folks that finish law school or medical school and then decide they don't want to practice their profession.  If that happens you take a look around and use the experience and knowledge you've then gained up until that point to course-correct and lay out a new path. 

It's all right, life keeps moving forward regardless.

Some solid advice there man, thanks. I think part of my depressive/neurotic tendencies is to catastrophize these things. For example, let's say I tried coding, spent a year learning it, and ended up hating it when I found a job in it. To me, as a guy who is in his mid-30s, my mind would easily conclude that I've fucked up my last chance of building a career. But that doesn't have to be true at all. Keep moving forward is a good mantra; I'll remember that one.
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#55
I would recommend to take cbd or other natual remedy for anxiety. Some people just over-analyze and over-rationalize things, particularly higher IQ individuals.

I would also recommend to explore a session of Psilocybin mushrooms, with a good guide of course. I would not recommend lsd or ayahuasca to high-anxiety individuals, but mushrooms are a natural anti-depressant.
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#56
(11-30-2020, 07:16 PM)Great Husky 63 Wrote: I would recommend to take cbd or other natual remedy for anxiety. Some people just over-analyze and over-rationalize things, particularly higher IQ individuals.

I would also recommend to explore a session of Psilocybin mushrooms, with a good guide of course. I would not recommend lsd or ayahuasca to high-anxiety individuals, but mushrooms are a natural anti-depressant.

I'm very interested in psychedelics. My understanding is they can provide a kind of psychological research; a break from conditioned patterns of thinking and the ability to create new ways of thinking. I have never braved them because of anxiety, but yeah, I think a good guide is crucial. Difficult to find a guide here in Ireland; I'm tempted to go on a retreat in the Netherlands when this Covid shit calms down. 

I tried CBD in the past but it wasn't very noticeable sadly. Meditation seems to help a little bit.
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#57
If you're anxious, depressed or neurotic then I would strongly recommend against experimenting with psychedelics. At least until you've addressed the causes of your problems.
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#58
^ See Connor Murphy ("fitness" youtuber who got famous for taking his shirt off) go insane after doing them. He was always a bit weird but he legit believes he is God now.
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#59
(12-01-2020, 12:20 PM)irishguy Wrote:
(11-30-2020, 07:16 PM)Great Husky 63 Wrote: I would recommend to take cbd or other natual remedy for anxiety. Some people just over-analyze and over-rationalize things, particularly higher IQ individuals.

I would also recommend to explore a session of Psilocybin mushrooms, with a good guide of course. I would not recommend lsd or ayahuasca to high-anxiety individuals, but mushrooms are a natural anti-depressant.

I'm very interested in psychedelics. My understanding is they can provide a kind of psychological research; a break from conditioned patterns of thinking and the ability to create new ways of thinking. I have never braved them because of anxiety, but yeah, I think a good guide is crucial. Difficult to find a guide here in Ireland; I'm tempted to go on a retreat in the Netherlands when this Covid shit calms down. 

I tried CBD in the past but it wasn't very noticeable sadly. Meditation seems to help a little bit.

Before seeking out psychedelic retreats sort out your situation man, what do you expect from that. Coming on this forum complaining about your life and then going doing psychedelic drugs - that's wack. Either you want to improve your situation or not. But be honest about it. It's actually very easy to sort out your situation, but it will be a two-year effort on your part. And I mean doing work, not psychedelic trips.

I once did LSD with a friend when he got on a bad trip, it was an extremely shitty experience for him. Kept having flashbacks for about a year and needed to take prescription medication to control it. He was not in a good mental space at the time when we took LSD. It was a mistake to do psychedelic drugs in that situation.

People are just looking for excuses for not having to do the hard work. Of course it's easier & more convenient to think traveling to the Netherlands and doing drugs might help your situation than actually sitting down and working hard for two years.
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#60
I disagree regarding psychedelics. The conservative mindset is that it's a shortcut, and your cheating. But it's science! So there is logic behind it.

I've used psilocybin mushroom, MDMA, and marijuana(it counts). It's not the substance, but how the individual uses it. Psilocybin Mushrooms can help people that are going through depression, PTSD, or lost in life. It can give your mind an altered state of consciousness. For people that are depressed, lonely, or stuck inside there head. It can definitely help. I will also recommend that you do your research, find a suitable environment, and take all necessary precautions. I ordered mine from bluegoba.com chocolate edibles, and capsules. They delivered it straight to my house in 5 days.  The reason people experience "Bad Trips", is they never take the necessary precautions and safety measures. I make sure I have some downtime e.g. Friday Night. I made sure my environment was safe and secure. I had water with me, and some healthy food.

My experiences with Psilocybin Mushroom was visually euphoric and introspective/spiritual. The duration was anywhere from 5 - 8 hrs. So you will need downtime. I did get the spiritual insights e.g. we are all one, Love yourself, be Positive, and believe in yourself. I also saw my life from an alternative perspective. I saw myself from a third person perspective and was interesting. It affects everybody differently. I've had about 4 trips on Psilocybin Mushrooms. I've moved on.

MDMA, I've only taken this one time. They say MDMA for people that have C-PTSD or PTSD. Can have great therapeutic value. I've heard MDMA assisted therapy can actually cure PTSD. They say the success rate is 77%. My experience was therapeutic. But I took a bit too much. I was literally high for 2 days. It was pretty intense, but super therapeutic. I helped to release a lot of trauma, and was healing. I wish I took the appropriate dosages, and was better prepared. I got it from a friend.

Bad Trips occur when you don't take the necessary safety precautions, and follow standard procedure. Please DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! BEFORE YOU TRY ANYTHING!!!


For depression, NOFAP is a great equalizer for men. Why? because it resets your dopamine levels. Loneliness also decreases your dopamine levels. Masturbation will accelerate your dopamine levels decreasing. NOFAP is an equalizer for your loneliness. It's difficult but it does work. I also notice when I go on long streaks it's hard for me to be depressed, and i'm much more productive.
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