Enduring the Lone Wolf Life
#1
It has been three years since I lost most of my friend base. To give some background, I use to be in the middle as far as blue pill vs red pill is concerned. Most of my friends were liberal, so when I started speaking my mind during the 2016 era where people were becoming more emotionally charged, I did not have the tact or the understanding back then to speak correctly to them. I was treating them like adults and my friends, but I started to be thrown to the side by them all simply for having different opinions. It took a lot of internal struggle and studying on human psychology, but I am now at a point of my life where I look back and realized I could have salvaged most of those relationships had I had the experience I had now. If I had just simply treated them like children, which is the opposite of what you'd think you should do, I could still have them around.

Being a lone wolf is tough for me, but I'm managing. I am concentrating on my career and building my business. But often, it makes me a little disappointed that I don't have people like them in my life. I never cared for their political ideas. I loved them for their energy and chaotic fun against my orderly nature. Having been ostracized, so to speak, I've been mostly tending to myself. I do everything by myself, and the only company is usually either the one remaining acquaintance I have who is busy with his own life, and the short term girls I bed then forget about. Sometimes, however, I lie there in the bed, missing those moments. Because they are friends of friends, I hear constantly all the parties and cool hangout places they go to. Stuff I use to do with them. I'm at the point of my life where it's not easy to recapture six years of friends I created, nor is going to those places myself will be any fun.

Do not take this to mean I'm not an independent person. I love it. I just know that I am only human, and it's tough to live a life without much social interaction. And it seems that those who hold most of my interests happen to be people who don't want to be around people, at the moment, who have their opposing views (leftists, liberals). I made it a point from now on to never talk politics with said people and to just assume all of them have a short fuse. But I can't get back what I lost, nor am I sure will I ever get any good replacements. Rollo Tomassi is also having this issue atm in his interests, such as music which is liberal charged right now.
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#2
This happened to me. Family broke up. Froends got older. Had kids. I work odd hours. You are not alone. Others know how it is.

This happened to me. Family broke up. Froends got older. Had kids. I work odd hours. You are not alone. Others know how it is.
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#3
#metoo

It's a very isolating world nowadays if you live in the West.
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#4
I'll be honest, manbeline, than many on the forum already suspected this of you. And in fact, you have continued to alienate people here with your not-so-covert politics posting. I'm glad you're having a come-to-jesus moment, however, so I'm not going to mock you any more than you deserve. You're already better off than dragan by being honest.

(10-23-2020, 05:24 PM)Manbeline Wrote: If I had just simply treated them like children, which is the opposite of what you'd think you should do, I could still have them around.

It seems that, like Roosh, your recent self-revelation was shallower than you think. Did you ever consider that you are the one who is retarded? Because the internet is the lowest form of politics and this seems to be exclusively the kind of content you engage with. I was serious when I told you to read a book. Maybe do an online course in history, politics, or philosophy. You need to fix yourself before you criticize others.

STOP filling your mind with garbage from youtube-tier midwits like Molyneux, Roosh, Cernovich etc. Better yet, forget politics altogether and get some hobbies and new friends.

[video=youtube]http://youtu.be/pC4ZMHGrIVw[/video]
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#5
Although this is a difficult time to be socially interactive, are you taking any concrete steps to change your predicament (like moving, catching up with old friends on the phone, on messenger, etc)?   Even if you cannot relocate too far because of your jobs, sometimes moving to a more vibrant, neighboring town can do the trick.

Also, please keep in mind that the blue pill and red pill is no longer the continuum.  It is now blue pill, red pill, and black pill.   Red pill was a useful stage for me, but wholly insufficient with its grifter focus on game, PUA, and "frame."
Have you ever noticed it is your haters who obsessively read your every post, comment on them with the most emotion, and expend so much energy desperately trying to engage you?  It's because haters are your greatest, most loyal, and dedicated fans; they just have not come to terms with it yet.  Enjoy them because they are the surest sign that you're slaying it in life!  Big Grin
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#6
(10-23-2020, 08:13 PM)Contrarian Expatriate Wrote: Although this is a difficult time to be socially interactive, are you taking any concrete steps to change your predicament (like moving, catching up with old friends on the phone, on messenger, etc)?   Even if you cannot relocate too far because of your jobs, sometimes moving to a more vibrant, neighboring town can do the trick.

Also, please keep in mind that the blue pill and red pill is no longer the continuum.  It is now blue pill, red pill, and black pill.   Red pill was a useful stage for me, but wholly insufficient with its grifter focus on game, PUA, and "frame."
The only thing I have been focused on is building my business and networking. The people I meet I consider acquaintances, but I would never see them as close friends cause I simply do not connect with them. As far as moving or catching up, I do not have any plans as of yet. I am, as you might say, stuck in a social rut. It was like this even before the pandemic. I could not click with people like my old friends, and it has to do with both the things I like and expectations I have now for people. It feels shallow to make new friends who I know are there for certain things.

As far as the pill goes, I don't follow it religiously like others. I know some people do need to in order to find an identity, but my identity has always been myself. It was a useful tool, but like all tools, sometimes you take them out and others you put it back away. I never cared for politics. A lot of people have worn it as their new religion these days, and it has made it very difficult to communicate. Whether they are liberal or republicans. I've seen crazy on both sides. 

Like WombRaider noted, it feels very isolated right now. Far easier to be a hermit than to have a social group with different thoughts and opinions.
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#7
(10-23-2020, 08:28 PM)Manbeline Wrote:
(10-23-2020, 08:13 PM)Contrarian Expatriate Wrote: Although this is a difficult time to be socially interactive, are you taking any concrete steps to change your predicament (like moving, catching up with old friends on the phone, on messenger, etc)?   Even if you cannot relocate too far because of your jobs, sometimes moving to a more vibrant, neighboring town can do the trick.

Also, please keep in mind that the blue pill and red pill is no longer the continuum.  It is now blue pill, red pill, and black pill.   Red pill was a useful stage for me, but wholly insufficient with its grifter focus on game, PUA, and "frame."
The only thing I have been focused on is building my business and networking. The people I meet I consider acquaintances, but I would never see them as close friends cause I simply do not connect with them. As far as moving or catching up, I do not have any plans as of yet. I am, as you might say, stuck in a social rut. It was like this even before the pandemic. I could not click with people like my old friends, and it has to do with both the things I like and expectations I have now for people. It feels shallow to make new friends who I know are there for certain things.

As far as the pill goes, I don't follow it religiously like others. I know some people do need to in order to find an identity, but my identity has always been myself. It was a useful tool, but like all tools, sometimes you take them out and others you put it back away. I never cared for politics. A lot of people have worn it as their new religion these days, and it has made it very difficult to communicate. Whether they are liberal or republicans. I've seen crazy on both sides. 

Like WombRaider noted, it feels very isolated right now. Far easier to be a hermit than to have a social group with different thoughts and opinions.
This rut you speak of strikes me as possibly being clinical depression which is exploding in prevalence around the country given the state of things.   To add insult to injury, most therapists have moved to online consultations now which is a deal killer for some.  But, you may want to consider being evaluated as a means to get you right again. 

About the color pill continuum, I never saw the blue, red, and black pills as identities per se.  I see them as frameworks from which men can achieve self-awareness vis a vis other men and society.

But whatever the case, the concrete actions you take (or fail to take) to resolve it will determine if you lauguish or move past this.  That is the key takeaway and I wish you luck with it.
Have you ever noticed it is your haters who obsessively read your every post, comment on them with the most emotion, and expend so much energy desperately trying to engage you?  It's because haters are your greatest, most loyal, and dedicated fans; they just have not come to terms with it yet.  Enjoy them because they are the surest sign that you're slaying it in life!  Big Grin
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#8
(10-23-2020, 08:59 PM)Contrarian Expatriate Wrote:
(10-23-2020, 08:28 PM)Manbeline Wrote:
(10-23-2020, 08:13 PM)Contrarian Expatriate Wrote: Although this is a difficult time to be socially interactive, are you taking any concrete steps to change your predicament (like moving, catching up with old friends on the phone, on messenger, etc)?   Even if you cannot relocate too far because of your jobs, sometimes moving to a more vibrant, neighboring town can do the trick.

Also, please keep in mind that the blue pill and red pill is no longer the continuum.  It is now blue pill, red pill, and black pill.   Red pill was a useful stage for me, but wholly insufficient with its grifter focus on game, PUA, and "frame."
The only thing I have been focused on is building my business and networking. The people I meet I consider acquaintances, but I would never see them as close friends cause I simply do not connect with them. As far as moving or catching up, I do not have any plans as of yet. I am, as you might say, stuck in a social rut. It was like this even before the pandemic. I could not click with people like my old friends, and it has to do with both the things I like and expectations I have now for people. It feels shallow to make new friends who I know are there for certain things.

As far as the pill goes, I don't follow it religiously like others. I know some people do need to in order to find an identity, but my identity has always been myself. It was a useful tool, but like all tools, sometimes you take them out and others you put it back away. I never cared for politics. A lot of people have worn it as their new religion these days, and it has made it very difficult to communicate. Whether they are liberal or republicans. I've seen crazy on both sides. 

Like WombRaider noted, it feels very isolated right now. Far easier to be a hermit than to have a social group with different thoughts and opinions.
This rut you speak of strikes me as possibly being clinical depression which is exploding in prevalence around the country given the state of things.   To add insult to injury, most therapists have moved to online consultations now which is a deal killer for some.  But, you may want to consider being evaluated as a means to get you right again. 

About the color pill continuum, I never saw the blue, red, and black pills as identities per se.  I see them as frameworks from which men can achieve self-awareness vis a vis other men and society.

But whatever the case, the concrete actions you take (or fail to take) to resolve it will determine if you lauguish or move past this.  That is the key takeaway and I wish you luck with it.

I'm better than depression. I'm a man. I can deal with a little sadness. It doesn't decide my life or anything. I would consider it clinical if it was keeping me from moving through day to day life. I do weights, eat well, and my socialness is fine. I'm just explaining a symptom of having had a huge friend evacuation that has cost me most of my social circle. Or rather, I'm not depressed in the way that others tend to use. I can be depressed but still be content at the same time. It just sucks.
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#9
I think most people stay with their hometown and college friends in their immediate vicinity and just enjoy whomever happens to be from those circles.

The problem with being a deep thinker player is while you may be open to meeting people completely foreign from your own group, doesn't mean they are.

Most people don't have that sense of adventure, they are content with their natural social groups. It's why most men have to marry a chick from their youth social circles, it's too hard to break into new groups when you get older.
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#10
Or you can be on the other side of the spectrum, like me. And not have any social circles perse...anymore. Unmarried at 40. While everyone had kids or maybe even grandkids. I work crazy hours and wait until I can do my traveling one or two times a year.
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#11
That all sounds pretty unhealthy guys. If you guys truly have no friends, trust me, it's not because of your political opinions. You probably are just socially not calibrated then. Don't get me wrong, you can lose a lot of friends because of politics, but all of 'em?

I can understand having no friends if you go to a new place. It happened to me as well. But what about your former high school buddies, the guys from your sports team or gym, the guys from work, etc.? If none of them can be considered a friend any more, it means you burned all those bridges, which sounds a lot like you got some issues probably. Or am I underestimating how fucked up some social circles are in the US? Even then, make new friends abroad, from this forum for instance...
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#12
If you want to make friends, then you need to be passionate about something and have hobbies. Naturally your friends will change as your interests change. When I was obsessed with PUA stuff years back, all of my friends were guys I met from various forums. I'm still good friends with a lot of them, but nowadays it's unlikely that I'm going to hang out with a bunch of pick up guys (which might be ironic, considering I'm posting on here). I eased up on pickup and got very much into business. I made a bunch of superficial friends througn the industry I was working in. These days I'm very much into hiking and rock climbing, so i've been finding it quite easy to make friends through my interests. Most of my old friends and I have gone our separate ways. I consider myself to be extremely introverted and not very outgoing, so it's not like people are jumping at the chance to be my friend or whatever. I just happen to be socially calibrated and have empathy when needed. It's unlikely that I'll ever lose all of my friends over some meaningless shit like politics.

edit: I've also maintained a lot of my friends over the years. Just yesterday I hung out with my buddy from high school I've known for 18 years. I also keep in touch with my friend I've known since I was born. We hardly even have anything in common anymore, but we still keep in touch after all these years because there's something to be said about knowing somebody your entire life. My point here is that it takes effort to maintain real friendships.

@Rottenapple, it has nothing to do with social circles in the US. To be honest, all of the hate against the US in these forums is overblown
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#13
I've been a lone wolf since I graduated university, it's been almost 5 years already.

I continued meeting high-school friends a few years after graduating high-school, then I gradually lost contact with them. Most work in medical fields : a doctor, a kinesitherapist, a nurse... I wonder what they think about the chinavirus.

At my engineer school, during the first 3 years I was with a group of about 20 people. I wasn't really interested in most of them but I was afraid of being lonely as I was far from my hometown and the university was in a small city. Some of them I liked to hang out with but I got bored of them after a while. I found people from my school to be pretty mediocre, while I was destined for greater things. After 3 years I left the city for 1 year for exchange semester + an internship abroad, came back to do my final year but I kind of stopped hanging out with them. Still met from time to time when I needed to entertain my social life but that's it. At the end of that year, one of the guys I was closest to broke up with his girlfriend from our social circle. When he told me that, I asked if I can fuck her now? He said I was really an insensitive person. At the end-of-year school party, his ex-gf was here and he was trying to get her back. At one point I was dancing with her and I didn't even give a fuck, it seemed that she digged me. The heartbroken fellow, when he saw us dancing, rushed to separate us in a pathetic way. No need to say, he never got her back. After this episode I didn't really met up with that group again. I went to Indonesia for my first bang trip the next month.

Since I'm constantly changing cities, it's harder for me to make friends now. I do make aquaintances from time to time but I think I should stay in one city for 1 year to really make the most of it.
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#14
deleted
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#15
(10-24-2020, 04:37 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote: Guys, OP is a time-waster.

1. He posted a similar thing on RVF over one year ago. I answered with precise, actionable advice, and shared further resources on (a) 'the how and why behind real-life meetups', (b) 'RE: Whether to help out guy on a blue pill or not?', and © having a better life and moving past resentment.
I am glad you posted this because when I read his dismissive response to my last post, I got the same impression.
Have you ever noticed it is your haters who obsessively read your every post, comment on them with the most emotion, and expend so much energy desperately trying to engage you?  It's because haters are your greatest, most loyal, and dedicated fans; they just have not come to terms with it yet.  Enjoy them because they are the surest sign that you're slaying it in life!  Big Grin
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#16
Embrace the pain, let it pass and learn to transcend the experience. It is temporary. This is one of the ways we are strengthened and grow.
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#17
(10-23-2020, 11:26 PM)Rottenapple Wrote: That all sounds pretty unhealthy guys. If you guys truly have no friends, trust me, it's not because of your political opinions. You probably are just socially not calibrated then. Don't get me wrong, you can lose a lot of friends because of politics, but all of 'em?

I can understand having no friends if you go to a new place. It happened to me as well. But what about your former high school buddies, the guys from your sports team or gym, the guys from work, etc.? If none of them can be considered a friend any more, it means you burned all those bridges, which sounds a lot like you got some issues probably. Or am I underestimating how fucked up some social circles are in the US? Even then, make new friends abroad, from this forum for instance...

Currently in the US, politics is the #1 break up of relationships atm. At least for a lot of people on both the left and the right. I wish it wasn't like this, but there's a mental illness pandemic that is far more widespread than any other pandemics that are spouted as important.

(10-24-2020, 03:16 AM)mike Wrote: If you want to make friends, then you need to be passionate about something and have hobbies. Naturally your friends will change as your interests change. When I was obsessed with PUA stuff years back, all of my friends were guys I met from various forums. I'm still good friends with a lot of them, but nowadays it's unlikely that I'm going to hang out with a bunch of pick up guys (which might be ironic, considering I'm posting on here). I eased up on pickup and got very much into business. I made a bunch of superficial friends througn the industry I was working in. These days I'm very much into hiking and rock climbing, so i've been finding it quite easy to make friends through my interests. Most of my old friends and I have gone our separate ways. I consider myself to be extremely introverted and not very outgoing, so it's not like people are jumping at the chance to be my friend or whatever. I just happen to be socially calibrated and have empathy when needed. It's unlikely that I'll ever lose all of my friends over some meaningless shit like politics.

edit: I've also maintained a lot of my friends over the years. Just yesterday I hung out with my buddy from high school I've known for 18 years. I also keep in touch with my friend I've known since I was born. We hardly even have anything in common anymore, but we still keep in touch after all these years because there's something to be said about knowing somebody your entire life. My point here is that it takes effort to maintain real friendships.

@Rottenapple, it has nothing to do with social circles in the US. To be honest, all of the hate against the US in these forums is overblown

We moved around too much in my childhood, then eventually left to another state, so all contact with my friends I had for my elementary through high school life were shattered. This was before the advent of facebook, too, or having a hold on consistent internet. I reconnected with a few of them, but they're all in their own lives now and it's like we're all different from who we were when we knew each other. Which makes sense when you don't grow up with them.

(10-24-2020, 04:37 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote: Guys, OP is a time-waster.

1. He posted a similar thing on RVF over one year ago. I answered with precise, actionable advice, and shared further resources on (a.) 'the how and why behind real-life meetups', (b.) 'RE: Whether to help out guy on a blue pill or not?', and (c.) having a better life and moving past resentment.

RVF is not STW. I posted my feelings here cause I figure there are other men like myself who feel the same way, opening discussion. Plus, not being on RVF anymore, obviously. You jumped to conclusions thinking I'm just coming here and making a r/askwomen thread. It has been a while since I got banned from there, so I didn't follow up with the thread after the forums were changed. Nor do I owe you a follow up from that previous thread. New site, new crowd. Post what you did there, but don't be acting like a woman in trying to stir up conflict.

@To other replies: Thanks for the input. Always like to hear different inputs on other's feelings like this, and if it's more common among men these days.
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#18
(10-23-2020, 11:26 PM)Rottenapple Wrote: That all sounds pretty unhealthy guys. If you guys truly have no friends, trust me, it's not because of your political opinions. You probably are just socially not calibrated then. Don't get me wrong, you can lose a lot of friends because of politics, but all of 'em?

I can understand having no friends if you go to a new place. It happened to me as well. But what about your former high school buddies, the guys from your sports team or gym, the guys from work, etc.? If none of them can be considered a friend any more, it means you burned all those bridges, which sounds a lot like you got some issues probably. Or am I underestimating how fucked up some social circles are in the US? Even then, make new friends abroad, from this forum for instance...

Agreed.  The easier pill to swallow is the natural drift that sometimes occurs if you move to a different city from where most of your old buddies used to live.  I can sort of attest to this.  You can tell who the good friends really are.  The good ones at least have the ability to resume right where you left off, be positive & reminisce on old times if you ever re-connect with them.
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#19
(10-24-2020, 04:37 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote: STEPS FOR GETTING CONNECTED

a. Pick up the phone and call a friend or family member you haven't seen in a while, and suggest meeting up sometime in person, or,
b. If they can't meet in person, have a voice or video chat.

I realised reading this that I have been neglecting my friends. Or rather that nobody in my group of friends (myself included) has taken the initiative to meet recently, with one guy living abroad in SEA, two others living on the other side of the country, some travelling abroad in recent weeks, and others unsure of whether they still want to meet because of the corona rules (regardless of whether they believe in them).

I just threw the proposal to meet again out there in the group and was surprised at the quick and enthusiastic response from everyone. We'll pick a date in November soon. Anyone not able or not down with meeting physically will be able to check in through Zoom or similar apps, but probably that will just be the one guy living abroad.

Regardless of whether OP will be able to do something with it, thanks for this little kick in the ass. Although it's not hurting me and I've been making other social contacts in life (girls, family, etc.), lifelong friends are important too. Although I can handle being alone for a prolonged period, in the past half-year I've been getting too used to and too comfortable with a certain level of social isolation. It's time to act closer to human nature again regardless of the situation right now.
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#20
I can add that the system is really designed to keep people in place, limiting their development. The entire economy, social system, economic system, job market, religious entities, etc.; are geared to get people doing the same job until they are unable to, preferably marrying someone they at least tolerate in order to breed. This is profitable, as both parties should be forced to spend their energy and their resources purchasing things they don't want from their wages in jobs they hate. If they have children much better, as a child is a huge sunk cost which will require time and money. In short, the system is designed to let any pair of schmucks to marry and spend money.

It is easy to marry, even for dorks. You can see many couples and wonder, what were they thinking; well they were not really thinking much.

The system is not designed to encourage lonewolves. Lonewolves, whether male or female, have more time, may have freedom, and they may lack substantial obligations which in turn makes them unpredictable.

It is easy to marry, breed human cubs, then continue; even if divorced, the system is fully geared to help the woman and the cub, discarding the man.

Many guys who have taken the red pill reach a time in their 30s where practically all their prior acquaintances are gone. This is lonely, yes, but it also shows evolution. Most people do not mentally evolve past the age of 26, specially in women. Men, perhaps 33. Having a family and children is not a sign of maturity.

Any man who continues to improve himself, to read, to travel, to invest, to question, to challenge, will inevitably have periods of solitude. Then again, just look at the facebook of any of your high school buddies, from college too. Do you really envy them? In some cases, yes they seem happy. But they all have that certain, plumpyness, fatness, dead eyes. The women usually more.

Eventually, you will become friends with other lonewolves, some brilliant, some weird, some successful, others not so much. By your 40s, solitude may become an anchor, or it can become the rocky foundation of your strength.
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