Biggest red flags in women when considering serious relationship?
#61
Kids. By far the biggest red flag / no-go for me. I just can't see any scenario where its worth dating a woman who already has kids, regardless of anything else about her.

That sucks for them I know, and I'm sure there are lots of lovely single mothers out there. But when you have the option of going for a woman who doesn't have kids why on earth would you choose to go for one who does? And there are more than enough women out there without kids to go for instead, unless you're only going for 35+ women for some reason.

I'm not anti-kids in general, I'll probably have some at some point. I'd just far prefer to have a normal relationship that grows through the life stages naturally, including us having our own kids, together. Not me stepping in to raise some other man's kids halfway through, and investing all that time/money/effort in them. And missing being their for their birth, early years etc.
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#62
(05-20-2020, 05:23 AM)dingdongditch Wrote: If they're attractive and expressing overt interest.

You could be very attractive and bring it out in her. Never say never.
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#63
(05-20-2020, 05:23 AM)dingdongditch Wrote: If they're attractive and expressing overt interest.

Aside from obvious scammers and covert prostitutes etc - this is a very good point.

First impressions of people are important because they're the only time you really have to assess how someone behaves towards strangers. As once people are acquainted to each other their behaviours change. 

In my younger days i had a few encounters of girls coming onto me - which always turned into a dramatic shit shows later on. Attractive girls who are comfortable expressing overt interest - are comfortable doing it with any guy they want attention from. It's not something they turn off if they enter a relationship.
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#64
(05-21-2020, 10:29 AM)mr-ed209 Wrote:
(05-20-2020, 05:23 AM)dingdongditch Wrote: If they're attractive and expressing overt interest.

Aside from obvious scammers and covert prostitutes etc - this is a very good point.

First impressions of people are important because they're the only time you really have to assess how someone behaves towards strangers. As once people are acquainted to each other their behaviours change. 

In my younger days i had a few encounters of girls coming onto me - which always turned into a dramatic shit shows later on. Attractive girls who are comfortable expressing overt interest - are comfortable doing it with any guy they want attention from. It's not something they turn off if they enter a relationship.

This is kind of a response to both posts.

Attractive girls, and girls in general, express interest, look you up and down, or subcommunicate their interest in you all the time.

Part of the reason I went on the journey of learning game was because I got burned by girls; and had I held frame, I maybe would of had a different outcome. (The girls I'm talking about where quite attractive in my book.)

The most crude way men express interest in women is holla-ing at girls on the street, ie catcalling. The rough equivalent, for women, is looking you up and down for several seconds while you're ostensibly not looking at them.

I guess the thing to remember is that if you're having a first interaction with a woman, and she's holding the interaction, keeping it going, that could be a sign of interest. Remember, women can just let a convo die and walk away if they don't want to sustain an interaction, or, are not interested in you. If there is some "vibe", there probably is a reason why.
"Everything I found out, I want to forget."




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#65
I have also noticed that practitioners of Yoga are almost universally attractive, but quite objectionable in terms of personality.

I don't know why that is but I presume that spoiled, unstable, and entitled women seem to be attracted to Yoga, or perhaps there is truth to the common belief that Yoga opens oneself up to Kundalini or negative spiritual influences which are poorly understood in the West.

Whatever the cause, I see Yoga enthusiasts as non-starters now. 

Has anyone else noticed this Yoga/headcase connection?
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#66
I do yoga and am familiar with the type - upper-middle class, sheltered woman. They mean well, are attractive and are lost.

They do it for the physical benefits and stick around for the mental benefits. To me, they're at least doing something about it and being lost.

I dunno, I have nothing against them and I run in those circles. I also don't try and fuck them but they stick around post-class and we chat; most of them recognize me. The true pay-off is when you see them out.

Either way, I haven't seen that connection and I have been around plenty of crazies... Glass half-empty vs half-full.
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#67
Yoga women are attractive unless fat.

A lot of yoga girls, I know several, are huge coke whores or swallow antidepressants, but are obsessed with so-called "Natural lifestyle". lol

I wish I were making it up.

But women that take care of themselves, and who do, by extension, yoga, are ok in my book. I just hate the fucking obsession with fung shui, tai chi, and so on. Fuck new age shit.

Maybe that's the price you pay to get a chick who cares.
"Everything I found out, I want to forget."




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#68
The single biggest red flag for me is women whose social circle is mainly made up of gay men and friendzoned betas, and very few if any real female friends.  These types of women will give a whole list of excuses as to why they don't hang with other women, but at the end of the day they tend to have masculine qualities that come across as uninviting to more normal, feminine women.   Any woman who cannot be friends with other women is a very, very bad sign.  

Run, don't walk, the other way if you find yourself with someone like this.
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#69
(05-23-2020, 10:50 PM)el_hefe Wrote: The single biggest red flag for me is women whose social circle is mainly made up of gay men and friendzoned betas, and very few if any real female friends.  These types of women will give a whole list of excuses as to why they don't hang with other women, but at the end of the day they tend to have masculine qualities that come across as uninviting to more normal, feminine women.   Any woman who cannot be friends with other women is a very, very bad sign.  

Run, don't walk, the other way if you find yourself with someone like this.
I noticed that a high proportion of girls tell me that.  It is shocking that they think it is some sort of positive quality.  It seems to me that these girls are attention and orbitor junkies more than anything else.
Favorite Countries:  Finland, Latvia, Ukraine, Serbia, Montenegro, Georgia, Japan, Argentina.

Countries For Future Travel:  Norway, Sweden, Uruguay, Paraguay, Bosnia, Macedonia, Moldova, Uzbekistan.
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#70
(05-23-2020, 10:50 PM)el_hefe Wrote: The single biggest red flag for me is women whose social circle is mainly made up of gay men and friendzoned betas, and very few if any real female friends.  These types of women will give a whole list of excuses as to why they don't hang with other women, but at the end of the day they tend to have masculine qualities that come across as uninviting to more normal, feminine women.   Any woman who cannot be friends with other women is a very, very bad sign.  

Run, don't walk, the other way if you find yourself with someone like this.

Huge agree from me, I don't even like girls with male friends period
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#71
(05-24-2020, 02:12 AM)Contrarian Expatriate Wrote:
(05-23-2020, 10:50 PM)el_hefe Wrote: The single biggest red flag for me is women whose social circle is mainly made up of gay men and friendzoned betas, and very few if any real female friends.  These types of women will give a whole list of excuses as to why they don't hang with other women, but at the end of the day they tend to have masculine qualities that come across as uninviting to more normal, feminine women.   Any woman who cannot be friends with other women is a very, very bad sign.  

Run, don't walk, the other way if you find yourself with someone like this.
I noticed that a high proportion of girls tell me that.  It is shocking that they think it is some sort of positive quality.  It seems to me that these girls are attention and orbitor junkies more than anything else.

Very true.  It's a convenient way for them to fill their lives with noise to drown out the deeper issues, which is usually a nonexistent father figure growing up or the fact the western culture tends to produce more masculine women in the current day.
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#72
You guys are reading way too much in to frame. It's only directly 'challenged' with shit tests and that's a good thing because she wants verification that you her belief of you being the shit is justified.

She's with you because you're the coolest guy in the world/her best option. Believe it.

Ironically, those are the same thing and that's a lesson in framing in itself; (you're the coolest guy in the world vs you are her best option).
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