How Do You Deal with Nihilism?
#1
After several years of following another now defunct forum I've found I'm unhappy. The world sucks. Good job, I travel, I'm fit and average looking but I've found myself circling the drain of negativity. I imagine many of you here feel the same after taking the red pill.

My routine has been helping but it's not enough and I'm hoping to conjure up a conversation that could lead to a productive thought experiment on how to be a more positive person.

1. I lift. I'm athletic enough but not born that way. I document my gains (now plateaued) with detail.

2. Bi-weekly massages from a hot Thai MILF. Nothing sexual but she puts me in a good mood and I sleep like a baby after.

3. I've blocked websites with a browser app. Our old friend's forum is blocked. CNN and other Fake News is blocked. I keep the password over at a lockbox at my parent's house so I can't succumb to the urge.

4. Travel doesn't interest me much because I do it so often for work in short lived trips.

5. I get outdoors. I am learning to hunt and fish but I don't know any good resources to know what the fuck I'm really doing. Shot a rabbit the other day and managed to skin it and cook it up. Felt bad for the little fellow but he tasted better than anything from the market.

6. Try to get laid. But where I live thats near impossible so its one night stands while on business. Not satisfying.

What have you guys found to be an effective method of generating at minimum, contentedness, or even true self actualization? I am considering myself applying to the US Military Reserves as an officer in a male dominated field but with all the bullshit I don't know if thats a good idea.
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#2
Get married. Reproduce.

There are psychological stages of development, the one in your 30s and 40s is generativity vs. stagnation.
Either you contribute to someone else's life or you become lonely and isolated.

There are ways to handle this without reproducing, but for most people that's the way to go...

All this in your head, "be your best man" bullshit doesn't work when it's all self-oriented.
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#3
(01-11-2020, 04:24 AM)fullthrottle Wrote: Get married. Reproduce.

There are psychological stages of development, the one in your 30s and 40s is generativity vs. stagnation.
Either you contribute to someone else's life or you become lonely and isolated.

There are ways to handle this without reproducing, but for most people that's the way to go...

All this in your head, "be your best man" bullshit doesn't work when it's all self-oriented.

First off, awesome profile photo LD is the man.

Second off that's easier said than done. I'm mid thirties... and the only women I seem to find for a LTR are single mothers. Many of them seem very nice but I feel like I'm wading into quicksand with them. 

Do we have any members that are members of the military or in law enforcement? I feel like being a part of that type of camaraderie could help fill the hole a lot of guys face.
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#4
I'm about the same age as you, single and without prospects. Actually, there are women that would absolutely marry me (and some that are pissed that I won't), but I really have no interest in being with 99% of women permanently for life. I'm not demanding a hottie -- I generally find the conversation skills of most hotties pretty dull -- but I do need someone who I find intellectually stimulating and that's a rare find.

However, my life is hardly depressing. I love living.

For me, the trick has been to find genuine purpose in life. A combination of a fulfilling job, satisfying friendships, giving back, living in an interesting place and engaging in inventiveness.
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#5
Young women, exercise, money and the sun stop me feeling down. Remove one of those things and life just isn't brilliant for me.

I have a 20 year old Latvian 8.5/9 I've been banging for the last 12 months. I'm 38.

She brings immense joy to my life. I'd recommend a young girl even if she isn't super hot. There's something about young women that make one thankful to be alive.

The only thing I'm missing are lots of friends...but then 99.9% of people I meet I hate so who knows if that's even true.
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#6
(01-11-2020, 04:14 AM)RIslander Wrote: After several years of following another now defunct forum I've found I'm unhappy. The world sucks. Good job, I travel, I'm fit and average looking but I've found myself circling the drain of negativity. I imagine many of you here feel the same after taking the red pill.

My routine has been helping but it's not enough and I'm hoping to conjure up a conversation that could lead to a productive thought experiment on how to be a more positive person.

1. I lift. I'm athletic enough but not born that way. I document my gains (now plateaued) with detail.

2. Bi-weekly massages from a hot Thai MILF. Nothing sexual but she puts me in a good mood and I sleep like a baby after.

3. I've blocked websites with a browser app. Our old friend's forum is blocked. CNN and other Fake News is blocked. I keep the password over at a lockbox at my parent's house so I can't succumb to the urge.

4. Travel doesn't interest me much because I do it so often for work in short lived trips.

5. I get outdoors. I am learning to hunt and fish but I don't know any good resources to know what the fuck I'm really doing. Shot a rabbit the other day and managed to skin it and cook it up. Felt bad for the little fellow but he tasted better than anything from the market.

6. Try to get laid. But where I live thats near impossible so its one night stands while on business. Not satisfying.

What have you guys found to be an effective method of generating at minimum, contentedness, or even true self actualization? I am considering myself applying to the US Military Reserves as an officer in a male dominated field but with all the bullshit I don't know if thats a good idea.

It sounds like it's a case of the fact that everything is in a state of hiatus and you're unsure of the next step. Maybe you've worked where you currently are and you need a change of roles to engage your mind? (Not necessarily military). 

Also if possible, try to have a few extended weekend breaks per year to somewhere with a lot of sunshine. Not sure where you are, but December/January in the Northern Hemisphere is bleak and it may be a case of a pick me up. It does help a bit ion you travel somewhere people are a bit more social (helps lift the spirits). You can exercise, but mix it up- maybe try running to build up your endorphins as well?

... Lastly dip into this site from time to time. 

....We may not know each other personally, but it does help to have a forum where you can rub thoughts with like minds. I have realised that in the real world, even though a lot of guys deep down think the way we do, social pressures do not let them act the life we live.

Stay strong.
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#7
I'm gonna give a somewhat different reply that perhaps can provide some insight. For you or for others.

For me personally, when I was younger, what really helped me in my happiness was to basically re-think my whole value system. A lot of the people seem to be very dogmatic on certain issues, especially so within the red pill community. Left or right-wing politics, men or female dynamics, the past versus the present, first world versus third world, whites vs. black, natives vs. immigrants etc. Many of us are what you categorize as more thinking types, that like to analyze everything in detail, read books, go into arguments and generally through a knowledge and value system try to gain control over our surroundings. This can be beneficial in becoming smarter and more effective, but it can also take its toll as in becoming very pessimistic, rigid in thinking and closed off from our surroundings. When you state 'the world sucks', you might be expressing something that comes out of such a thought world. Maybe you are too much seeing things black and white and not enough gray. Maybe you are taking life a little bit too serious, instead of just enjoying the ride.

What I did, for instance, was become much more morally loose, as opposed to me as a young adolescent that would really cut myself off from people if they would fuck me over, not engage with girls because they thought so and so about something, become angry over some type of injustice etc. Really the 'me against the world' attitude a bit that is so common these days. When I started traveling however this all changed, you learn through meeting different characters, learning from different cultures, opening yourself up to different experiences that none of these hard classifications actually make a lot of sense. The world is not a worse place now than it was before. We are probably in the best of times actually, hence we get issues out of a luxury situation (becoming too fat because of eating too much, becoming addicted to porn when we used to go jerk off to half-naked images in magazines, becoming disappointed during holidays because the hotel isn't as good as expected vs. never being able to travel in the first place, being unhappy at university because we have to learn things which are not that interesting vs. being forcefully drafted in the military to go fight shitty wars somewhere...). On the personal level, you need to study philosophy and learn how to be less judgmental. Every person has a different path and sometimes shitty things happen which we do not have any control over and this makes that different people are at different points in their lives. See life as an experience where you can learn from the good things as well as from the bad things. Your happiness should only depend on one person only: yourself. I like this quote: "My mind is the place where I make my plans, The world is the place where I take my stand, The beauty of life is mine today, They cannot take my mind away", because it indicates that you control your own thought processes and your own happiness, regardless of what happens in your surroundings.

To give some actual examples:

-I hear lots of my western friends propagate political ideas that I am completely opposed to. They also do a lot of other things that I don't relate to. Some are vegetarians, some like to watch girly netflix shows, they might be very naive when it comes to worldly issues or related to girls, etc. It doesn't matter that much. It's not because one of your buddies is stupid in one area, that he can't be a good friend with whom you can have a lot of fun. The same applies to family. Don't cut family ties because you like Trump and they don't or something in that line of thought, just stop talking about politics at Christmas dinner. It's really not that hard. When you see a young guy with social issues, see him as a guy that is at the beginning of a learning process and someone that needs help. Not as a degenerate fuck that will try to bring you down. Always think out of a position of power. If you are a rock, you are not affected by the weakness or ignorance of others. If someone asks your help, don't immediately shut them off for thinking they are trying to take advantage of you. Evaluate your own situation, and if the help you can give doesn't affect you a lot, just give it and be happy that you have the possibility to do so.

-With girls, I used to think every relationship should be 100% monogamous and I would break something off based on even a small suspicion of non-loyalty. Now, I date tons of women, some which I truly care about and I understand that nothing is perfect. Some will leave my life, others will fall in love with another dude, some will fuck a random dude for whatever reason, ... these things happen. When they do, I might or might not cut them off, but one thing is for sure, I won't be sobbing in my room for weeks. It doesn't affect me on the long term. There's always plenty of options around the corner. The last time a serious relationship of mine ended, I found myself a couple days later to be thinking...well, that wasn't too bad, let's see how I can enjoy this increased freedom for a while.

-When you are in a situation where you are socially completely isolated, use that time to reflect and plan. A man that can be happy alone is a powerful man. The same applies to a man that can live with very little material needs. If you have money, but you don't need it to be happy, then you have power. When you have money, but you need the luxury so much that you cannot take a step away from it, that indicates dependence, which can give you stress if that position is threatened. To be resilient is to be flexible. Someone who only sees one road ahead of him will get fucked when that road is shut off for whatever reason. A man that instead sees himself as standing on a crossroads, will not have so much stress when one or several options are taken down.

When I read your post and you say you are unhappy, and then you state things that are positive, like working out, massages, internet use... These things don't matter, they are details. You should be reflecting on your family, your friends, the meaningful relationships in life, your contributions/purpose, your health, your learning process... That is the core, not your daily activities our hobbies.
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#8
(01-11-2020, 04:41 PM)Rottenapple Wrote: When I read your post and you say you are unhappy, and then you state things that are positive, like working out massages, working out, internet use... These things don't matter, they are details. You should be reflecting on your family, your friends, the meaningful relationships in life, your health, your learning process... That is the core, not your daily activities our hobbies.

Great posts from everyone. Upon reflection, I don't think unhappy is the right word but rather numb. Nothing really makes me happy or unhappy. Something is missing.

The best advice I've ever come across was from an interview with Jason Everman (linked below). Everman was the initial guitarist for Nirvana and bassist for Soundgarden. He left both bands because he wasn't happy just playing musical instruments and joined the army and became a Green Beret. 

During his combat tours he read a lot and came across a Renaissance era Italian philosopher named Benvenuto Cellini who stated that a well rounded man is "an artist, warrior and philosopher" and that's what intuitively led him to enlist in the Army rather than go on to make millions and bang beautiful women as a rock star.

I guess my point is you can't take value from life without sacrifice. The problem is I I am two of those things but I can't find something worth sacrificing for. I am considering the Coast Guard reserves as that seems like a worthy cause but I am worried about the politics of it.

Great advice so far and it is appreciated.





EDIT: The link doesn't seem to show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7ebdOH36uo
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#9
We really need to fix this YT video embedding problem.
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#10
This is a timeless topic. I'm far from perfect on dealing with nihilism, but in my saner moments, this is what mostly seems to work for me:
  • Mostly good set of habits - very little drinking, no drugs, a good diet of meats, fats, and vegetables, little sugar, a fitness routine, sun exposure, occasional walks in nature/trails/greenery, reading. I don't need to be fanatical, but bad habits and neglecting good ones shouldn't be unduly affecting my mood.

  • Time with family and my cousins' children - Assuming there's minimal dysfunction, time with family gives a sense of stability and permanence through mutual support and shared experiences that occur over the entire course of one's life. Even if it's all 'pointless', the family endures.

    Watching my cousins' kids play and horsing around with them is a tangible reminder that any gloom around nihilism and lack of meaning is a defect in one's own spirit. One may agree with nihilism as being essentially 'correct', but that doesn't demand a sullen outlook.

    If I were to sit down down with my cousins' kids and solemnly tell them that life unfortunately has no meaning, that existence is absurd, and that we will all die in a state of confusion with unresolved inner conflict and a litany of disappointments, they would tell me 'okay' and then immediately and joyfully go back to having me act like a polar bear and chasing them.

  • Having tolerable work suited to one's capabilities and temperament. Apart from salary, most of us are innately aware of the psychological needs that work fills — a sense of accomplishment, socialization, and status. While you may feel a general sense of ennui toward life in general, you're likely to feel totally rudderless if you spend a long period of time idling.

    People often seem to also overlook the temperament aspect of work, and I've learned through tortured experience that it's critical to well being. You'll be better off finding employment that is agreeable to your nature but also with the right sorts of people where social pressure and group dynamics don't require you to behave overly contrary to your general demeanor.

  • A few constant hobbies that require application of skill and, ideally, a social dimension. I go dancing and I cook. I used to rock climb a lot and will get back into that (mostly indoor bouldering) when my elbow heals. These are fruitful distractions and the release of endorphins and dopamine keeps morose thoughts at bay.

  • Attention to detail to surroundings - an unimaginable amount of effort and thoughtfulness has gone into the built environment and products you use. The single biggest evidentiary argument against nihilsim is this — if everything is pointless why are we collectively hellbent on trudging on and fashioning the world in a manner more to our liking; not just functionally but often with style and consideration of aesthetics.

    If what I wrote above is too 'pie in the sky', the next time you're out you can ask what did the proprietors do to makes this bar, restaurant or public space nice/pleasant/cool? Why is my friend's home more enjoyable to be in even though it's noticeably smaller? What is it about my parents' suburban neighborhood that is so goddamn ugly? Why do girls' asses look so great in Lululemon and Athleta leggings?

    You don't want to get overly obsessive with this type of questioning, but you can wring out a lot amusement and occasional awe if you cultivate a perceptive eye for beholding the ordinary and accidental genius that surrounds you.

  • A few good friends - It's very easy to sink into the nihilistic blackhole with excessive rumination and no social contact. Spending quality time with friends is a healthy way to step away from your own often wretched psychology. As someone who prefers a good amount of solitude, maintaining this one is difficult for me.

  • Erotic time around women - this one's not worth overthinking. Pussy is great and good feminine energy is restorative.

  • Accepting when things are 'good enough' - Existence promises nothing to anybody and dissatisfaction is the common lot. Taking delight in great and small moments doesn't require logical justification — you just absorb it while it's there. I'll work to make things better and put myself in a position to capture more of those moments, but there's always something that will stick in my craw. You can enjoy the panorama with a pebble in your shoe.
edited to add:
  • Largely avoiding headline news and social media' - All of us are aware of the sensationalizing aspect of the news and how it profits by stoking our fear, anxiety, and overall sense of helplessness.

    I suppose that social media can be alright if managed responsibly, but I'm privacy minded and don't like the public-facing and digital 'profiling' aspect of it. Additionally, the retarded-ness of a lot of posts, tweets, and stories gives me a less charitable view of the people I know who publish them. This makes the world smaller in a bad way.

    Without these influences intruding into my thoughts, my interactions with others and the way I relate to the world at large seems more immediate and a little less manufactured. There are some notable drawbacks (like often being 'out of the loop') but I also get the sense that I'm able to have a better handle over my own thoughts and desires.
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#11
Not sure if you're trying to find a sense of adventure in the military but the only thing you're going to find there is the system micromanaging you and treating you like a child.
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#12
(01-11-2020, 05:04 PM)RIslander Wrote:
(01-11-2020, 04:41 PM)Rottenapple Wrote: When I read your post and you say you are unhappy, and then you state things that are positive, like working out massages, working out, internet use... These things don't matter, they are details. You should be reflecting on your family, your friends, the meaningful relationships in life, your health, your learning process... That is the core, not your daily activities our hobbies.

Great posts from everyone. Upon reflection, I don't think unhappy is the right word but rather numb. Nothing really makes me happy or unhappy. Something is missing.

The best advice I've ever come across was from an interview with Jason Everman (linked below). Everman was the initial guitarist for Nirvana and bassist for Soundgarden. He left both bands because he wasn't happy just playing musical instruments and joined the army and became a Green Beret. 

During his combat tours he read a lot and came across a Renaissance era Italian philosopher named Benvenuto Cellini who stated that a well rounded man is "an artist, warrior and philosopher" and that's what intuitively led him to enlist in the Army rather than go on to make millions and bang beautiful women as a rock star.

I guess my point is you can't take value from life without sacrifice. The problem is I I am two of those things but I can't find something worth sacrificing for. I am considering the Coast Guard reserves as that seems like a worthy cause but I am worried about the politics of it.

Great advice so far and it is appreciated.





EDIT: The link doesn't seem to show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7ebdOH36uo

Life is pretty meaningless when you have nothing to fight for. You should probably aim to settle down and have kids. If your prospects for that are bleak, move.
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#13
(01-11-2020, 07:39 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote: Not sure if you're trying to find a sense of adventure in the military but the only thing you're going to find there is the system micromanaging you and treating you like a child.

That is my concern. 

However I have several friends that are Warrant Officer pilots for the Army and they said there's next to no bullshit in that field. You aren't an enlisted man and you aren't a regular officer dealing with bullshit... you just fly.

As for the advice on a wife and kids I feel like that ship has sailed. I'm not marrying a single mother or a woman in her thirties that will likely give me a kid with Down's or Spina Bifida. Only chance in that department is moving abroad and I don't have the ability to do that as of now.
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#14
The ship that has sailed at your age is joining up, not the possibility of having a wife and kids. You have it backwards.
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#15
(01-11-2020, 08:25 PM)Off The Reservation Wrote: The ship that has sailed at your age is joining up, not the possibility of having a wife and kids.  You have it backwards.

I already am medically approved and have an age waiver. It's currently a 100% acceptance rate. CG Reserve is age 41.
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#16
Balance. Career, money, girls, family, friends.
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#17
Regardless of age, background, financial means, geographical situation etc., what would be your ideal life? Think very hard on that. And then realize that even if you tried and wouldn't make it, you will probably be better off at age 80 reflecting back knowing that you gave it your all instead of settling for what was realistic.
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#18
I don't think there is anything practically wrong with your life. The army won't fix the problem you have. Look at Maynard James Keenan, who did exactly what you did and lived to regret it. Religion does not have to be the answer to this problem, and I don't think just having kids is either.

You evidently have a desire for meaning, which explains why you bought into the redpill and were taken along by Roosh for so long. It is admirable that you are honest enough to admit this. I will offer you advice because of your honesty, even though you indirectly threatened me with violence in your previous posts on this forum.

You are right to suspect that online culture is garbage and only causes unhappiness. I suggest you begin to learn about real Western culture and start reading philosophy and literature. Jordan Peterson is a good gateway. Or heaven forbid, an evening course in an evil liberal university.
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#19
Worrying about shit like this all the time is proof that we have it pretty good, If you're born in some war torn shit hole or some place where you don't even have running water or food on the table you're thinking about your next meal.

Even Suits, living in his moms basement at least has a nice warm place to sleep, she makes him sandwiches and all she asks for is that he is out on Saturdays for his parents weekly bang.
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#20
(01-12-2020, 06:59 AM)SC87 Wrote: Even Suits, living in his moms basement at least has a nice warm place to sleep, she makes him sandwiches and all she asks for is that he is out on Saturdays for his parents weekly bang.

To be fair, it would help if they wouldn't turn off the heating every night to save money. It gets really cold down here.
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