Best way to end it with a girl?
#1
I have been "seeing" this girl for 3 months now, she comes over like once a week to my place (She constantly asks me to come more often)

Lately I have seen more of her real personality and I just don't like her as a person, she has done nothing to disrespect me and is always pleasant when we see each other but she has become more clingy and tries to call me almost every day.

She's always saying how I'm going to "break up" with her and tells me she loves me and recently revealed that she was diagnosed with BPD and has even made comments about suicide.

I'm afraid if I "break up" with her I will get the full on slash your tires, light your house on fire, threaten suicide treatment.

So far I have been more distant in the hopes of her just getting bored of me. If it doesn't work in 2 weeks or so I will probably just tell her I don't want to see her anymore.

Any ideas on how to deal with this while avoiding consequences?
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#2
Ghosting
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#3
Next time she comes over, full-on shit your pants. Ask her to help clean up. Bet she won't be back.
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#4
I generally never break up with girls. I just show them I'm fucking other girls, give them less time, only use em for sex, don't answer their messages etc. Basically being an asshole, but trust me they prefer this way instead of breaking up because they will rationalize themselves getting tired of you instead of them not being on your level. No girl wants to acknowledge that she got dumped, they rather think of it as 'it didn't work out' 'he was not what I was looking for' etc. However, be aware that this can take a while and meanwhile you will have to deal with having an expanded harem. Tough life.

If you ever want to let a good girl go however, the most morally correct way (if that even exists) is to temporarily appear as a beta. Become a romantic, overly loving fool that dedicates his whole life to this girl, always gives her what she wants, etc. and at the same time stop fucking her well, seemingly stop doing cool adventurous shit and having a lot of friends. She will leave sooner than you'd expected and there will be no sadness, no anger and no frustration. This would be the best option for your particular situation I think, because she might stab you if you go for option 1.

Dumping a girl however works in the case you need it for yourself to feel psychologically completely detached from the girl or when there is sudden life change as in you are moving away or something like that.
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#5
Rottenapple has good advice but it can back fire.  With girls who are damaged, the more you make yourself scarce the more they want you.

In the film Red Storm Rising, Rameous had to figure out how to make his crew abandon ship.  If he ordered them to abandon the USSR's best nuke sub, they would die fighting him.  But if he made it their idea, they would gladly do it.

Try upping the ante with her.  Ask for anal, tell her you want to tie her up, threesome with her best friend, whatever to push her boudaries.

Ask to borrow some money.

Be more of a user than a contributor to the relationship
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#6
Very simple - tell her you miss your ex. Better yet, tell her you miss your ex-wife and kids. Cry. Just become unattractive.
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#7
Easier said than done... just relax her off... let a natural flow separate you.
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#8
Tell her you love her. Just kidding, unpopular opinion but don’t break up with her, keep her around, from my perspectives it looks like she can bring more benefits than not having her around (keeping your ballsack dry and not disrespecting you). Even though she seems crazy, who isn’t these days, and about her being clingy - would you prefer it to be the other way around so a girl is cold? Think about this one.. if you really don’t feel like it’s benefitting your life just do what rottenapple says. With some girls if you don’t like a certain aspect of them you can be a good leader and “train” them and maybe their issues will be fixed, but only if you think it’s worth to put in their effort
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#9
(11-28-2019, 08:37 PM)Mikestar Wrote: Tell her you love her. Just kidding, unpopular opinion but don’t break up with her, keep her around, from my perspectives it looks like she can bring more benefits than not having her around (keeping your ballsack dry and not disrespecting you). Even though she seems crazy, who isn’t these days, and about her being clingy - would you prefer it to be the other way around so a girl is cold? Think about this one.. if you really don’t feel like it’s benefitting your life just do what rottenapple says. With some girls if you don’t like a certain aspect of them you can be a good leader and “train” them and maybe their issues will be fixed, but only if you think it’s worth to put in their effort

I don't know, at the end of the day pussy is replaceable. My gut feeling is telling me I should end it somehow before she pokes holes in the condoms and tries to get me baby trapped or something crazy.

All paranoia aside I just don't enjoy being with her as much anymore, novelty factor is gone and it's hard to have a good emotional connection when I have confirmed she would make a terrible long term partner.
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#10
I don't think being needy/clingy wouldn't work with women like this because it will just validate her fantasy that the two of you are a perfect couple who belong together.  She's looking for something codependent.

You want to avoid drama which is hard since women use every mental trick in the book to play the victim.

This is what I've learned through a personal experience...

What is best is to demonstrate that she's the only one perpetuating the relationship.  She needs to initiate every text and ask to get together every single time.  Sure, when you get together, try to make the most of it and have a good time, but it's like every single date is for all intents and purposes a one-night-stand.  No planned trips.  No meet friends or family.  Just impromptu discrete hookups that are never arranged that far in advance.

She really has no leg to stand on if she complains because while you make it clear that she's welcome in your bed on an ad hoc basis that there's no future to be had beyond it.  After that has been conveyed, every time she texts, every time she keeps serving herself up, she is consenting to the status quo.  By doing this it zeroes out any ammo she could use to claim that she's been used.  You've held the door wide open for her to leave and all she has to do is walk through it.  The more she tries to talk this through with you during afterglow the more it will dawn on her that she's the one with the problem and she's the only one who needs to change her behavior, because it's ridiculous to expect a man to turn down casual sex.
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#11
(11-29-2019, 05:03 AM)questing1970 Wrote: She needs to initiate every text and ask to get together every single time.  Sure, when you get together, try to make the most of it and have a good time, but it's like every single date is for all intents and purposes a one-night-stand.  No planned trips.  No meet friends or family.  Just impromptu discrete hookups that are never arranged that far in advance.
This is exactly what I have been doing from the beginning, 0 dates or activities outside of the bedroom. The only thing I might have done wrong is that I talk to her on the phone every few days (She pushes for it almost daily and I eventually cave in).

She doesn't complain or seem to want to leave, she has told me she is afraid that I will ditch her someday. She has asked me multiple times if we are ever going to be more or have an actual date and I have told her the truth. She is just very clingy and doesn't seem to want to leave me.

I have been thinking about just fucking her as badly as possible like Rottenapple suggested as that's pretty much the only positive reinforcement I give her but I'm not sure I would be able to go down that path. Another option is telling her I'm leaving for the holidays (lie) for a few weeks and hope that makes her lose interest once I'm "gone".
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#12
Yikes. BPD girls, good call on getting the fuck out of there. I know this probably doesn't mean to be said because you're probably on your game but make sure you're in the driver's seat here, if you've fallen for any major manipulations your job is going to be harder than it needs to be.

Now the first thing for 100% safety here is to make it out like breaking up with you is her idea and it's what she wants. With cons, business, and romance this is pretty much always the key to getting what you want with minimal fallout.

You know her well enough at this point but this is what I would do. There is some risk to it, because it could backfire spectacularly but when a weird girl with bpd is involved so could just about anything.

This may even be good for your ego. Show weakness if you can make it real make it better. Show real, gross, disgusting weakness. Cry in front of her about something she did. Admit something huge you are scared of that makes you look like a huge pussy. Paint a vivid picture about the time you lost a fight. Give her shitty dick. You get the idea. If done properly she will treat you like absolute shit for a while, you take it like a beta chump and when she stops giving up the pussy at will you'll know she's on her way out. By the time that happens you can manufacture an argument, give it the chop, and you'll likely not hear from her again. Well at least in any serious capacity. The one pitfall here is she will think she can manipulate you and maybe try to keep you around as a toy, don't let that happen.

Now I can't stress this next part enough, this is what's going to separate the men from the boys in this small little con. Show WEAKNESS not vulnerability. If you show vulnerability it will draw her closer and she will trust and like you more. Always remember vulnerability is showing people that you can be hurt if they break down the walls, find a weapon and choose to fight you, and it makes people trust you right away. WEAKNESS is breaking the wall yourself arming your opponent, pointing to your heart and helping guide the blade in. And it's disgusting; people, but especially women hate it and to my knowledge they hate nothing more than that.

The other more extreme option of this is to act like you love her and really simp the fuck out similarly. Which I might try on a neurotyoical stable girl to get away from, but not clingy BPD girl.

If all this fails it's just time to man up and tell her fucking is fun but you're not the man for her and she ain't the girl for you. If you haven't made any weird promises or really lead her on you should be fairly safe provided she has no dirt on you.

Good luck and God speed, those BPD spinners can be a lot of fun but if you're not equipped they can be hell. Also they are honest to goodness bad people, and you'd have to be retarded to go down the wifey road with one. But this didn't stop me fr trying a few times, that's how I'm able to give you this advice now
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#13
I had clingy fuck buddy that I wanted to get rid of one time. So I told her I had a neck problem and that I could only fuck while lying on my back. Told her she could only ride, suck, or 69. Needless to say, she got really tired of it after 2-3 weeks and bounced.
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#14
If that’s true you are hilarious hahaa
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#15
(11-29-2019, 05:03 AM)questing1970 Wrote: I don't think being needy/clingy wouldn't work with women like this because it will just validate her fantasy that the two of you are a perfect couple who belong together.  She's looking for something codependent.

You want to avoid drama which is hard since women use every mental trick in the book to play the victim.

This is what I've learned through a personal experience...

What is best is to demonstrate that she's the only one perpetuating the relationship.  She needs to initiate every text and ask to get together every single time.  Sure, when you get together, try to make the most of it and have a good time, but it's like every single date is for all intents and purposes a one-night-stand.  No planned trips.  No meet friends or family.  Just impromptu discrete hookups that are never arranged that far in advance.

She really has no leg to stand on if she complains because while you make it clear that she's welcome in your bed on an ad hoc basis that there's no future to be had beyond it.  After that has been conveyed, every time she texts, every time she keeps serving herself up, she is consenting to the status quo.  By doing this it zeroes out any ammo she could use to claim that she's been used.  You've held the door wide open for her to leave and all she has to do is walk through it.  The more she tries to talk this through with you during afterglow the more it will dawn on her that she's the one with the problem and she's the only one who needs to change her behavior, because it's ridiculous to expect a man to turn down casual sex.

I like it overall except for the idea that she will ever apply logic in the eventual evaluation. There's no way you'll ever get a woman to NOT see you as the villain for not reciprocating the emotional investment. Youll still be the bad guy


I once fucked a chick I disliked as a person, for the last time, in the ass. As soon as I finished I jumped up and wiped the shitty jizz off my cock with her linen curtains as she watched. Last thing I ever heard from her was "What the fuck?!!!" as I was leaving. 

Probably not appropriate in OPs case but just one to add to the breakup arsenal

*She was a mean spirited shallow cunt ...but with great tits .
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#16
(12-04-2019, 05:47 PM)captain_shane Wrote: I had clingy fuck buddy that I wanted to get rid of one time. So I told her I had a neck problem and that I could only fuck while lying on my back. Told her she could only ride, suck, or 69. Needless to say, she got really tired of it after 2-3 weeks and bounced.

That is genius, I have told her before I fucked up my back a bit doing deadlifts so maybe something like that could work.

So far I have been more distant and made an excuse not to see her, she asked me if I still liked her and I had to lie and say yes. I want her to be the one to leave me/get bored. To add to my paranoia I found out she has a twitter where she retweets tons of radical feminist stuff and the typical twitter false accusations.

I'm just afraid of the eventual post on her twitter with my picture on it calling me out. I have always ended up on good terms with girls I have been with but I have a gut feeling I have to be extra careful with this one.
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#17
In normal circumstances I would say just rip the band-aid off in one go. I have done this a few times, and my only regret is not having done it more often. Right now I'm in this situation where regularly fucking over time just kinda seamlessly transitioned into a monogamous LTR despite the words "I love you" never being uttered. And I realised it didn't happen by coincidence, but I'm letting it happen because it's easy and comfortable. But the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to eventually end it.

Given the above, I'm not sure what I would do in a situation like the OP, where the girl is far more unstable. We know even normal girls play games like this, but still there's always the lingering thought of whether you want to have it on your conscience if you do push her over the edge. But on a fundamental level, there's no reason to stick around when you know you actively want out.

I haven't tried this, but I instinctively don't like the idea of suddenly becoming sexually incompetent or turning into a simp. If I really wanted out quickly, I would try to do one of these:

1) As mentioned, just end it. Be as firm or as nice as is necessary, but the first line you say (on the phone, in person, in public, whatever) has to be that you have decided it's over and this is not negotiable. It's like an employer rejecting a job applicant: name one or two reasons briefly, but don't make it into an argument or a negotiation. You want to "see" / "date" other girls for a while, you no longer "feel a connection" or some other gay shit. But don't soften the message. Don't immediately offer to "stay friends" and meet on a friendly basis regularly.

2) Cheat, admit it, and have her choose between dumping your sorry, cheating ass, or accepting that it will always be mainly about sex. Probably not a good idea for high-strung, high-drama chicks. Maybe just "cheat" softly by openly dating other girls, getting numbers, whatever. Or if the "what are we?" topic comes up, say plainly that you're not interested in a monogamous relationship and there are other girls or there may be in the future.

3) Talk often about some real or imagined big plans for your mid- to long-term future (career, travel, whatever) that will remove her from you, physically or mentally. Like you want to study over there, move to this or that place for career purposes, or you want to spend a few months travelling and working around the world, whatever. She has no place in those plans. You're open to meeting other girls there.

4) Ghost, if you don't have to meet at work, school, social circles, etc.

Anyway, the bottom line is that you don't owe any girl any relationship. You owe her respect as another member of the human race, and if she's really troubled, you should give her more kindness and tact than some other broads. But at the end of the day, you have to do what you want. You don't owe it to anyone to stay in a relationship against your will. That's being a Nice Guy, and there is a ton of literature available to anyone who just googles those two words.
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#18
(12-05-2019, 05:41 PM)Shifty Wrote:
(12-04-2019, 05:47 PM)captain_shane Wrote: I had clingy fuck buddy that I wanted to get rid of one time. So I told her I had a neck problem and that I could only fuck while lying on my back. Told her she could only ride, suck, or 69. Needless to say, she got really tired of it after 2-3 weeks and bounced.

That is genius, I have told her before I fucked up my back a bit doing deadlifts so maybe something like that could work.

So far I have been more distant and made an excuse not to see her, she asked me if I still liked her and I had to lie and say yes. I want her to be the one to leave me/get bored. To add to my paranoia I found out she has a twitter where she retweets tons of radical feminist stuff and the typical twitter false accusations.

I'm just afraid of the eventual post on her twitter with my picture on it calling me out. I have always ended up on good terms with girls I have been with but I have a gut feeling I have to be extra careful with this one.

How attractive is she?
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#19
(12-05-2019, 07:23 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:
(12-05-2019, 05:41 PM)Shifty Wrote:
(12-04-2019, 05:47 PM)captain_shane Wrote: I had clingy fuck buddy that I wanted to get rid of one time. So I told her I had a neck problem and that I could only fuck while lying on my back. Told her she could only ride, suck, or 69. Needless to say, she got really tired of it after 2-3 weeks and bounced.

That is genius, I have told her before I fucked up my back a bit doing deadlifts so maybe something like that could work.

So far I have been more distant and made an excuse not to see her, she asked me if I still liked her and I had to lie and say yes. I want her to be the one to leave me/get bored. To add to my paranoia I found out she has a twitter where she retweets tons of radical feminist stuff and the typical twitter false accusations.

I'm just afraid of the eventual post on her twitter with my picture on it calling me out. I have always ended up on good terms with girls I have been with but I have a gut feeling I have to be extra careful with this one.

How attractive is she?

I would give her a 6.5 but ratings are subjective and I don't inflate scores, to replace her looks wise it would probably take me 2 months of "dating". If she had a good personality she would be gf material.

(12-05-2019, 06:41 PM)Harem Scarem Wrote: 3) Talk often about some real or imagined big plans for your mid- to long-term future (career, travel, whatever) that will remove her from you, physically or mentally. Like you want to study over there, move to this or that place for career purposes, or you want to spend a few months travelling and working around the world, whatever. She has no place in those plans. You're open to meeting other girls there.

Anyway, the bottom line is that you don't owe any girl any relationship. You owe her respect as another member of the human race, and if she's really troubled, you should give her more kindness and tact than some other broads. But at the end of the day, you have to do what you want. You don't owe it to anyone to stay in a relationship against your will. That's being a Nice Guy, and there is a ton of literature available to anyone who just googles those two words.

It's not exactly against my will, I still enjoy being with her but at the same time I value my peace of mind way more over sex. I have done number 3 (telling her about my plans long term that don't include her, even showed her my booked tickets for the other side of the world and that I'm going to be traveling for months with no plan to come back).

I think she is very immature (She just turned 19) so the plan I'm going for is to see her less often and I'm sure she will get bored/find someone else in less than a month. I don't have it in me to act like a simp or do any theatrics.
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#20
Tell her that you wanna stop casual sex to prioritize paid escorting (as you are the escort). Say you need to conserve your energy for paid encounters.
She is still welcome to your place but its now 150$ a pop.
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