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Cheating and Not Getting Caught - Printable Version

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Cheating and Not Getting Caught - Adrenaline - 01-18-2021

The morals of cheating or not is currently hotly debated in another forum. I have my views but i wanted to make this thread a little practical. 

IF you don't want another girl to know you're seeing other woman (married, supposedly exclusive GF, etc.), how do you NOT get caught? It is SO easy to get caught in lies and leave traces - woman are really good at that. At the end of my last relationship, i did see other woman as things were not going well. Now, single, i want to remain single.


KEY PRINCIPLES
  • Do not start MAKING UP stories. You will eventually get caught in your own lie. Be like a good money launderer instead, set up a legit front that gives you reasons why you are away, travel, have to go out. That way, it is always the case. You JUST KEEP YOUR MORE DARK activities quiet. Not lying, not just sharing. 
  • COMPARMENTALIZE YOUR LIFE - Keep secondary phone, secondary card, bank account, etc. for all things you don't want HER to know. Having an office or a small office space your rent can become helpful to leave things at work. Have two laptops -  one at home that you may share. One for work that stays at work or where files are REALLY hidden.  
  • Don't rely on your friends to be your front. DO NOT get them involved. Your regular entourage that may deal with your girlfriend should NOT be involved. BE OK to do that for yourself without EVER sharing it. Tiger Woods anybody? 


SOCIAL MEDIA
  • Become QUIET on social media. A low profile user. Become a lurker, not a big user. You want to avoid your current relationships and whatever woman you are seeing to crosspatch... too easy to figure things out by looking at status, who likes your photos, your history. 
  • Make the current settings of your main social media account very light and provide (agains, your "other girls" should not be able to really peek in there"). Consider changing your name or making it hard to google you (Joseph Smith can be Joe S., etc.). Google yourself and test it tout.
  • Be very CAREFUL about creating a second FB, IG or other social media. I did that. Even using a different media account, algorithm uses where you are located to <<suggest>> friends or people you know. Imagine your GF being proposed your other social media account. Unless you wanna start VPNing, forget it.
PHONE 
  • Any phone that contains dangerous apps or data (main or secondary) phone should be password protected for <<PRIVACY>> issues. Have a business where you have to be careful about <<CLIENT DATA>>. Justifying tight security.
  • The use of a second phone is very tricky. If you do, keep it at work ONLY or in your car and ALWAYS on silence. Make it so that you are a BUSY guy and don't quickly respond to messages to your other girls. They have to expect your job doesn't allow you to be <<ONLINE>> much and you will check your messages and social media maybe 1-2x per day (i.e. Going the convenient store to buy something.. (to check your phone).
  • Do not USE your primary phone at all. It's VERY dangerous. If you do, watch all your settings, turn OFF all notifications and hide the dangerous apps very deep on your phone inside the 3rd page of a category called <<Sports>> you know your GF will never check. 
  • Be careful with some apps like WhatsApp who automatically download photos to your main photos categories depending on the settings. 
  • Using the same phone is DANGEROUS Business. 
  • Instead, get a second-hand phone (that you load) or uses WIFI or Make it your BUSINESS Phone so that you can justify it with your girl and she rarely see you use it. 
  • Use a second-line app (Line2) that has texting and calling capacity over wifi.  I can use my <<TRAVEL>> phone (secondary phone) i load with a sim card with i travel but i can you use my PRIMARY photo data or any wifi to surf the web, chat or text with women using my secondary phone. 
  • Increase DATA on primary phone to roam with it using your second phone to date, communicate with other woman. Again, all NOTIFICATIONS OFF if possible. 
MINDSET
  • Become independent. Develop as much as possible interest and activities that you know very well your main GF or relationship will not be interested in it. 
  • Encourage her to take up her OWN activities so you can have yours. Make it so that you will NOT compromise on doing activities with your buddies.
  • Start a secondary business to make it so. Not just a front, a real business but you are not trying too hard to make it worth. 
  • DO NOT FAKE anything. Design your lifestyle so that what you do is REAL but still a front. For example, when i girl i date in a secondary city ask me why i am here - i have the same reason to give as i do for my GF. DON'T GET CAUGHT with lies and stories that aren't true. 
  • Have a valid, legit excuse for everything that makes sense. You rent a hotel in CITY B for a convention or for a business trip. Send your primary girl a photo of when you check in. 
BUSINESS & TRAVEL  IDEA
  • Real estate is AWESOME - it gives you so many excuses to go check a house, meet an investor, meet a lender,  drive for dollars (do farming, drive around neighbourhood). Consider becoming interested in investing in a secondary market that you can travel too regularly (AKA another city to be your PLAYGROUND for women). All under the cover of a real business and you have make a real business. Covers your track very well. I have done so. I sent pictures to my existing girlfriend of houses i was visiting, business lunch i had so she would not even question it). And guess what - ALL TAX DEDUCTIBLE if a real business.
  • Any CONSULTING gig can be good too - especially if you have to travel a lot or stay <<up to date>> but <<attending regular training in person>>.
  • TRAINING or COACHING people - this is awesome. Such a good reason to be away, to be UNAVAILABLE for hours at the time, perhaps to travel, go to conference, network, meet prospects, peers, clients. When you can make the excuse - I have to deliver a coaching session tonight and you go to <<the office>>. AGAIN - make it legitimate. I take a variety of screenshots when i do - this way, you can always text her or send a photo or what you are currently doing. Have some in reserve.
  • You can use the business idea to sell the idea of a secondary income, invest in the long term, it is hard to argue and it is expected that the first few works will take a lot of work and sacrifices.
BECOME A LIFELONG LEARNER
  • Go to personal development, business, finances, industry-specific, real-estate, personal fianances conferences.  
  • TRACK LARGE CONVENTIONS - Buy tickets to conventions in different cities, in different fields. Use the small business income from your FRONT to pay for these things. Go to convention, attend a session or two, take a few photos, take some samples from the Tradeshow to make it real. Study the all the sessions offered - attend a few (morning, early afternoon) so that you can appear you were there (take photos with other attendees) but spend 60-70% dating other girls outside the tradeshow but it is an awesome cover. 
  • Schedule evening you take courses at a local college (go for non-credit courses, that way no need to study, so you don't fail even if you don't attend classes cause you are out dating. Make sure you can talk about the content with her. This gives you an excuse to be out a few tiimes a week.
HOBBIES
  • Develop hobbies you know she will NOT enjoy at all.  Gaming, Comics, Business, Sports, Golf - whatever she is UNLIKELY to be interested in and bores her to death that you may somewhat in joy.  A girl interested in interior decorating or cooking would lose my interest quickly in what she is doing. Gives you a chance to get out - DO ATTEND these hobbies. But for every time you go out for a night, have another night where you go as well (but dating). Again, share with her photos and everything. Make it a real part of your life. Never build around lies, build around what you do without sharing the more secret reason why).
COMPARTIMENTALIZING

Nothing is more important. Give yourself a solid front  - I like a mix of business, personal development and hobby - so that i have a variety more organic reasons to travel, be away, take night off, etc. 

Office or Work Space - Ideally, you should have a separate, secure space where you can leave things safely without her being curious and perusing through. Ideally, a boring place she is likely to pay you a visit. You can always WORK LATE (aka dating, sexting, chatting, etc.). Make sure your office doesn't really have a landline. Make a habit of HAVING your VIRTUAL ZOOM MEETING at the office. If she calls and you don't pick up, you were on a meeting (maybe you were with another girl). Give her real legitimate reason why you should not be available at odd hours. 

Good thing is to also open a BUSINESS bank account, have a business credit card, etc. that you LEAVE at the office, etc. Something that would not show up on your credit report (I know a guy that got caught when his wife saw credit lines on his credit reports he never told her about because they pulled it out to buy a house). 

Don't count on you being clever - avoid the different parts of your life crossing over as much ass possible (relationship with GF, dating, business - KEEP ALL SEPARATE)

All that STUFF has worked for me.

Feel free to share.


RE: Cheating and Not Getting Caught - WombRaider - 01-19-2021

All that effort. Just be single.


RE: Cheating and Not Getting Caught - Dash - 01-19-2021

Just be single OP.

Less stress.

More freedom.


RE: Cheating and Not Getting Caught - Jetset - 01-19-2021

If you're thinking about it this hard, there might be something else going on that you need to address.

However, some of those are just good tips for keeping game tight anyway.


RE: Cheating and Not Getting Caught - el_hefe - 01-19-2021

I think this advice is best marketed to men who are firmly anchored in a marriage with multiple kids under 18, where going for the divorce would result in a pretty hefty financial raping.  Even at that this isn't a good long term solution if your relationship is that bad.


RE: Cheating and Not Getting Caught - AirWaves - 01-19-2021

I'll go against the grain somewhat and say OP's advice seems good for guys in rocky LTRs with entanglements.

Doing the self-improvement to chase other girls may help the LTR. If not, at least you come out having done the work, maybe some other options, and more importantly, not wasting your time.

I don't think OP intended for his advice to be used by guys going into LTRs. He even says he's single now and plans to remain so.