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Things You've Learned from LTRs
For me, in no particular order:

- Girls (and likely people in general) show you who they really are when they're under stress. Travel is one way to bring that out, since it rarely goes 100% smoothly. Key here is to observe how a girl reacts: does she become negative, or does she remain productive?

- You won't really know someone until you've lived with them, and observed their habits. Are they lazy? Procrastinating? Or are they proactive? Most folks put on a better front than they really are. Before you live with them, they'll more easily be able to sell you excuses for their faults.

- A useful early warning sign: if a girl is consistently late to your dates, she's not mother-of-your-children material. Why? Because she can't plan for the near future, never mind after that. She may blame traffic and such, but that's life. Mothers-of-children have to plan around that.

- Another useful early warning sign: if a girl doesn't dress & act feminine, she's not mother-of-your-children material. You want a girl who's caring, right? Well, that stems from a feminine mindset. And that mindset manifests itself in feminine clothing & behavior.

- If you have any inclination to look for a mother of your children, don't be half-assed about it. Finding one, as you might see from the above, is at least a magnitude harder than finding bangs. Girls can't have it all, and neither can you. Plus what guy of value would be in an LTR that didn't lead to marriage & kids? He'd be more productive collecting flags & writing about it, never mind happier. And at the end of the day, as men, we need to produce, whether that's kids, or telling other guys how to get bangs. Hedonism itself just doesn't cut it, because it's an endless treadmill.

What have you guys learned from LTRs?

Note that I'm not here to debate whether LTRs are worth it or not. There's already a thread for that: < > Successful LTRs are way harder than successful bangs.
[-] The following 2 users Like 262's post:
  • BarbarianFather, TheManWhoSoldThWorld
I think this is a good topic and I'm surprised there have not been more responses. The reality is that most guys are going to end up in some form of long term relationship. It might be the live in girlfriend or wife or it might be the chick you visit for a few weeks a year in some other country. Here's the most important things I've learned.

1. Vet the hell out women before you move in with them. Especially in the US it's easy to fake your financial situation and it's something to be very careful about because people can easily drag you down

2. If you live with a woman who is not as wealthy as you, make sure all the utilities are in her name so you don't get screwed when she can't/won't pay

3. Say no early and often. Don't be a dick but make sure she's used to you saying no as far too many people are too compliant in the early stages of relationships

4. Use condoms or make sure she has a non-hormonal method of birth control. Many women forget they're pro-choice when the "right" guy knocks them up

5. Stay active socially. 

6. Don't be too open about your financial situation

7. Be wary of being taken advantage of

Long story short most relationships go bad over money or sex. When you date down, by choice or chance, make sure your financial future is locked down tight and don't let anyone ruin it.
[-] The following 2 users Like DNiceNSmooth's post:
  • 262, k pop
First learned point would be that holding frame is one of the most important keys to maintaining less drama and greater happiness. Ultimately it means you come first.

Second, to talk less and think before you speak or act (to her or anyone else). The more you talk or act, the more likely you are validating her because most men are not consciously thinking about what they are saying. When she does something positive (takes her clothes off, cooks a meal for you, acts submissively, etc.) say something to her, give her a kiss, reward her. You are molding her, you are training her. If she consistently has that look of admiration when she looks at you, you are on the right track.

Third, to use a woman´s follicular and luteal phases of the menstrual cycle as one of the primary tools in maintaining a low drama and satisfying LTR. Realize that certain generalizations apply in the first half of the cycle where they are more relaxed, reality is relatively more reflected in their thoughts and perceptions, their memory is better, they are slightly more motivated, they eat more, they are more sexually aggressive and generally more focused on the outside world and more likely to create and contribute to the outside world including you. They actually produce more cervical fluid and their skin often looks better, they often exercise more, tend to be more social and gossiping increases. In the second half of the cycle, they become more focused on themselves internally and their own feelings and are less relaxed, their thoughts and perceptions mirror reality less so, they fatigue more easily, etc., etc.. This increases as each day passes. They are seeking more care and comfort from others (hint do not give them very much make them earn it and use this as a good opportunity to train them).
Get busy living or get busy dying!
[-] The following 4 users Like P.T.'s post:
  • 262, BarbarianFather, k pop, BravoZulu
PT that analysis is brilliant. I would love to get going on the psychological/hormonal considerations in gaming and/or relationships. It's really the next frontier of gaming (as is interior China).
1) Never stop gaming - A woman is gone as soon as she loses attraction for you. I always want to get lazy and not put any work into teasing and laughing with her etc, but when I stop doing that I start to lose girls. When I'm gaming, they are in love.
[-] The following 2 users Like 20Nation's post:
  • 262, Cheeky_Chappy
(11-01-2017, 12:37 AM)k pop Wrote: PT that analysis is brilliant. I would love to get going on the psychological/hormonal considerations in gaming and/or relationships. It's really the next frontier of gaming (as is interior China).

In places where there is less concrete, some of the challenges are different because the social systems are more closed and have a certain rigidness to them.  I am thinking of places like the interior of China, Nepal, rural India, tribal Africa, even parts of central Africa.  A tribe in a place like the middle of the Amazon would be an extreme example.
Be professional, be polite, but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
(11-04-2017, 02:31 AM)20Nation Wrote: 1) Never stop gaming - A woman is gone as soon as she loses attraction for you. I always want to get lazy and not put any work into teasing and laughing with her etc, but when I stop doing that I start to lose girls. When I'm gaming, they are in love.

Easy way to do this is to enjoy the Game.

See it as a boyish challenge to troll her.

Enjoy her pleasant indignation.
[-] The following 2 users Like 262's post:
  • 20Nation, P.T.
The strongest factor correlating to having a positive (happy and low drama) relationship with a woman which is more than just sex, is to carefully scrutinize her background and actions related to her father and the other men in her family and past, then compare those for consistency and afterward line this up with your first-hand experience with her over long periods of time. The primary attributes in how she relates to those male figures include her submission, ability to take direction, and most importantly her respectful disposition and communications toward them.

The second factor would be her ability to delay gratification. Look for women who have or can do without, where their fathers did not give them everything and enforced some measure of discipline.

Thirdly, examine her closest 5 friends, their backgrounds and how they talk with one another.

The fourth factor, if you are considering offspring, is to examine her and her family´s genetics.

Never found a woman worthy of a relationship (shit) who did not have a positive relationship with her father, or with most of the men in her life.
Get busy living or get busy dying!
[-] The following 5 users Like P.T.'s post:
  • 20Nation, k pop, BarbarianFather, BravoZulu, Aviator
P.T's analysis is golden.

Many of us would argue against dating women you work with. I have many times. "dont' shit in your own nest. don't piss off your own dock".. etc etc... However, there is one upshot to this. You see the women under stress, day after day. This speaks volume to their overall functioning, including in relationships.

Observing women in stressful situations is a massive predictor of relational success. In a LTR, you will experience significant strife and stress, and how this is managed will determine the success or failure of your relationship. I currently work in a large public ghetto school in the shitsac US of A. 90% of the staff are women, and there is 1.. yes 1 that holds up under pressure. She approaches everything with smile and with, and realizes that we can't complain for what we sign up for. Those characteristic most likely carry over to her relationships. If she can handle with grace 25 crazy 10 years olds, she can undoubtedly handle me. I am slowly, actively courting her with a diametrically different game that what we espouse here. She is my long game, and my sharpest tool is patience.
Sometimes I wonder if in any LTR, eventually, you end up being her psychiatrist, hearing about all the (mostly in her head) drama in her life, even if she puts on a great face in public under stress.

Maybe gotta tell her to do her bitching with the bitches, put bluntly for here of course.
[-] The following 1 user Likes 262's post:
  • 20Nation

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