Settling down or never settle

Settle Down or Never Settle?

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This is a guest post by WestIndianArchie.

The player goes through stages

At the beginning of the journey, he has trouble mustering the courage to even approach a girl. Then, the issue is what are his first words. How to transition? When to initiate the touch? When to isolate her from her group of friends? How to get things really started when they’re finally alone?

But sooner rather than later, the player masters the basics of the game. Or so he thinks.

The months..years that follow, find the player in and out of various women, lots of adventure, constant novelty.

Just like the movies, our hero meets his match, a woman that meets his requirements. Unlike the movies, the player doesn’t have to make some grand romantic gesture. The only real “tell” in the world of a player is that “her” texts gain in priority. Before he knows it, she’s over at his apartment all of the time, he’s met her friends, they’ve been to events together. A non-consensual relationship. The player rolls with it. He doesn’t mind the constant access to sex. It usually gets better as she learns what he really likes. The food is okay, but the unexpected bonus is companionship. Having gone through dozens of bar flies, party girls, impressionable college students, grizzled cougars, and career women – the surprise of this girl who’s wormed her way into his life – is her humanity.

Unlike the movies, as he lets her into his life more, his alpha starts to crumble, and she starts to test him more. He looks up one day, probably holding a purse at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and finds himself in service to a chick who used to serve him.

The bloom is now off the rose, and rather than figure out how to break her resolve, how to address her needs and nagging – he backslides into the older version of himself. Uncharted territory rarely means sticking to new skills. The common narrative here is that he goes back to being beta, he was never a true alpha to begin with. That’s what society teaches us, and in moments of weakness we reject what our own eyes have seen and rely on things that don’t work.

The story doesn’t end here, but life leads us back to this question again.

The red pill is discovered. Game is put into perspective. Success that would not have been believable in that first dalliance with the game, follows.

Now, it’s not enough to fit into a size 2 dress and fill out a C-cup bra.

He finds another young lady who is different than the rest.

Does he ease into a long term relationship, this time on his terms, or does he stay single?

Never settling?

Never settle

The Pro’s

New women and new adventures for the foreseeable future. Never getting too bogged down in any girl’s life so as to come under the heavy yoke of a relationship. He keeps few regulars in rotation, with new girls cropping up as long as he can stomach the real world, or handle the annoyance of online dating.

The long term benefit is developing himself to a point of true self sufficiency, independence.

The Con’s

The life takes a toll on a player. If it’s not the late nights out, exchanging sex for sleep, the alcohol and party favors – it’s the stress of dealing with yet another girl and using his energy to help her see the light.

This is obvious.

What is missing is the companionship, the non-sexual aspects of a long term relationship. The benefit that only seems to be gained from the desert of boredom, abyss of her problems….time that is only punctuated by moments of that togetherness that can only be found by running through the gauntlet.


To Settle Down?


Let’s be clear. After a period of great abundance, the player has certain expectations. The regular man is content with 1 woman, 1 home, and trying to maintain that peace. The player does not have those fantasies. Domestic dreams often crash on the rocks of feminine reality.

For a player to consider a long term relationship, aside from the obvious perfection in his partner, he wants the arrangement to be at his convenience. He may selfishly require fidelity on her part, but not offer his own. He demands her compliance with his wishes, but he does not put himself under her constraint.

Society publicly hates a man like this, but secretly wishes to be him. Peel away the admonitions and think about it clearly, the player merely has the mundane power that the vast majority of women hold. He has choice.

The player merely has the mundane power that the vast majority of women hold.


Neophytes of the game think this is the ultimate. A permanent situation with a willing partner, and the ability to indulge without restraint.

The Pro’s to Settling Down Player style?

That closeness in a relationship that only comes with time?

Someone to depend on for more than just regular sex.


The Cons?

What could be the downside of having a main chick and being able to entertain side chicks?


If he chooses to stay out there, he has to keep eating right, keep lifting, keep making more money, keep building himself, keep dealing with new girls and their problems.

If he chooses to keep a primary, he has to do all of the above, and keep his best friend, his confidant, in check. Either she dreads his absence, fears the competition, or her fires still burn for him – the player actively keeps his planet in orbit.

There is a cost to everything.

guest-author-iconGuest post by WestIndianArchie

WestIndianArchie is a member of RVF with legendary insights into a wide variety of subjects.


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