It’s what get’s you little perks when you travel, discounts when you buy something, past the line at a club, and unless you’re one of the schmucks that hopes to “get lucky”, it’s the social dynamic you engineer to get you laid.
If your idea about Game is that it’s just used to talk to girls and be a “Pickup Artist” or wear a funny hat while doing magic tricks, let me say I’m happy to inform you that you are mistaken.
Game is social engineering. It’s being charming, using your body language, witty nature, looks, intellect, status, prescence, sex appeal and then directing that towards an outcome of your choosing.
Forget gimmicky tricks, forget “negs”, forget all that 10 year old bullshit written in “The Game”.
It’s time to really double your level of game.
What all of it, every last little technique, every little quip that you say to a person boils down to is FRAME CONTROL.
All this “neg” stuff when you’re interacting with a girl is about controlling the frame.
What is Frame Control? It’s directing the course of the interaction you’re having.
The very next conversation you have, start being aware that you or the person you are speaking with is leading it. Many times when speaking with a friend, you’ll switch from leading to being passive and back again, this is common when in a relaxed environment.
When you’re speaking to a girl, especially in a night life atmosphere, you are looked at as an adversary or a contestant (unless in a social circle setting). This is where you have to actively put into effect your frame control skills the most.
Girls respect power and unless you are controlling the frame in an active or passive manner they will give you shit, try to make you dance like a monkey, or make you qualify yourself to them.
That get’s you absolutely nowhere. She may come to the realization that you’re a cool person and feel bad for being a bitch but that’s extremely unlikely.
Your best bet, is to direct the conversation and NOT play into her frame (also known as “shit tests”).
Women are testing you because they want to see what kind of man you are. Are you just another pussy that is going to kiss her ass or are you doing your own thing and owning the space around you?
When you take control (and this doesn’t always mean bluntly but cocky/funny helps that), she perceives you as having higher value than her. When you establish that you are the prize, she starts qualifying herself. When you start hearing her tell you about her modeling shoot, or her prize as employee of the month, or whatever the hell it is, you’ve got her where you want her.
But let’s go back a step. Actually, let’s go back several.
We need to address a very real thing: Approach Anxiety.
Approach Anxiety happens when you see a girl and you want to talk to her. You don’t know how to strike up a conversation and you start to imagine how terrible the interaction will go. This compounds until you’re so nervous that you call off the approach altogether, or you go in doggedly and bumble through a “hello” or rush into a “what’s up?”.
Under these circumstances, unlsess the girl is completely open to being approached, it rarely goes well.
It makes you want to hang your head in shame, you feel worthless, and embarrassed.
It may be awhile before you work up the courage to approach another girl. (Hopefully you don’t give a damn and go right to the next one but that’s not who this post is addressing)
Adopting the right FRAME of mind is the key to getting over Approach Anxiety or at least making in manageable. If you can get it to a manageable state, future you is going to be very happy with present you.
THC and myself developed a frame that is perfect for this situation.
In short, you are no longer doing this just because you want to get laid, you are now doing research for the betterment of social science.
You are no longer doing this just because you want to get laid, you are now doing research for the betterment of social science.
That’s right, you’re now a scientist. You are going to test out different things and observe the results. You’re going to make minor or large adjustments and test those out too. The outcome doesn’t matter as long as you observe it, take notes, make adjustments, and then test your new hypothesis.
Terrible result? Great, why did it happen? Good result? Same question, “why”?
You are no longer doing this for you, so much as that you are doing this to report back your findings.
This takes the ego part out of it and let’s you focus on what you should be focused on anyway, getting your game down to a science.
“But Fisto!?” you bellow. “That’s great but that still doesn’t give me any tools to talk to women, where do I start”?
I’m glad you asked that loyal blog reader. Let me give you a system that I’ve used for years (and still do).
Disclaimer: Roosh has developed an amazing system for Daygame approaches in his book Daybang. His approach method includes a series of topics who’s acronym is GALNUC (google Roosh if you need to learn more). I highly recommend this system for speaking to girls during the daytime.
My system borrows some things from Roosh’s and is much easier and you can implement it today.
Girls are predictable, as Roosh notes in Daybang, during the day they are finicky and like cats because they are not really expecting someone to approach them, they find it sort of strange because they are not in the social setting this normally occurs (bars, clubs, parties, etc)
While they’re not expecting to be approached, they are much more likely to be alarmed and yet, at the same time they will be more receptive to speaking with you and to seeing you again if you tailor a conversation that is both pleasant and engaging with the right amount of attraction building sprinkled in.
For the next 30 days, it is your mission to approach at least 3 women a day. THREE is an easy number to meet. This will result in 90 interactions with women.
Don’t worry, I’m going to give you the tools you need to make these interactions painless and even fun.
Here is how a theoretical approach can go (and exactly how one did go for me).
Let’s say you are cruising down the grocery store when you see a girl studying the protein powders at whole foods. You notice from behind she has a nice ass. You decide right then you are going to interact with her.
What do you do?
I refined my own approach and in the daytime I will now use the “elderly opener” developed by Roosh. I walk over and simply ask if she knows which brand of powder is the best one. Speak slowly, if you are new to this (you will want to speak quickly) consciously slow it down.
This will lead into protein powder discussions, and you maybe cracking a joke about how she is or isn’t a bodybuilder. If she knows which powder is best or doesn’t, that’s irrelevant. The frame control you use to direct the course of the conversation does.
Key things with frame control. Most guys don’t do this:
Make eye contact, this makes her feel feminine, make HER look away. This makes her submissive. When she looks away you can look away before locking eye contact again. Make her look away again. If you are uncomfortable making eye contact consider this the perfect opportunity for a science experiment. Once you see the power it has, you will start doing it more and more until it’s a natural thing you don’t notice. People around you will notice however.
Drop bait. Another gem coined by Roosh that makes the interaction go more smoothly and it really sums up what you are doing to direct the conversation. Dropping bait is a little hint of something interesting about yourself. I was just traveling in South East Asia. I might say something like “I was just in Asia and it was really hard to find some decent proteins”. This should prompt her to ask why I was in Asia and the conversation flows.
At a certain point, you will feel the attraction reach it’s zenith. You will be tempted to carry on the conversation but if you do, the conversation will fade out and she will want to get back to what she was doing.
There are two ways you can go here. If you’re level of game is medium to advanced (I’m about to preach to the choir) what you should have done is ask her what she is doing a little later, if she is free you should go for an “insta-date”.
Say something like “Look, let’s continue our shopping together and then grab a coffee, I need my fuel”. She will go with you and you can make little jokes about different items throughout the store or point out things you’ve had that you highly recommend. Ask her about what she likes etc. Make fun of her and tease her. “Sooo…..you’re actually a junk food junkie?” “No!” “Don’t worry, I’m not judging you…..well maybe a little bit” Cue big teasing smile.
Venue change until you get her to agree to meet later that night or get her to go to your place for dinner (this is actually one of the best ways to get a girl from the grocery store to your place, pick out a bunch of delicious food “you were planning to make” later that night, and then if you have properly established comfort, she will come over)
Option 2: This is for the novice to mid level player; If while talking to her she mentions she’s busy or has a lot of plans going on and you calculate you can’t insta-date her (The novice to mid level player will go straight for this). Put out a false time constraint “Look, I’ve got to get going, let’s catch up another time“. Whip out your phone and look her in the eyes again. She will give you her number Call her right there “So you have mine I’ll call you“. Take note that her phone shows your number.
This does two things. Confirms that she gave you the right number, and it also puts another layer of resistance for her to flake at your future meet up. When you say “Let’s catch up” and you assume the sale, you are saying non threatening language that establishes you as someone who is very casual but also used to making decisions and it demonstrates your confidence by assuming she will want to continue to see you.
The 3 Common Rejections aka Shit Tests
1. The “I have a boyfriend” – This one is either true or not. What most men do is crumble in the face of this rejection. Luckily, you are not “most” men. Something I love to do is act confused and I say with earnest curiosity and a feigned conspiratorial tone “Are you telling me you want me to beat his ass??” She will look at you confused, then you break into a smile “I’m joking babe. Tell you what, I’m gonna come back here in a month and ask you again ok?”
She will totally be flattered, she will find you to be hilarious, and you have just saved your dignity and no one has any need to be embarrassed or feel awkward. A lot of the time (if she actually doesn’t have a boyfriend and even sometimes if she does) she will say “Why don’t I just get your number just in case“. It’s really up to you at this point about whether you play into her frame and give her your number or you reverse it an press for hers. I’ve had success with both scenarios. I’d err on the side of strength and press for hers “Sorry, but I’m old school, you can give me your number and I’ll call you sometime“.
2. The “I’m really really busy“. This shit test is unlikely considering how well your interaction was sure to have gone but in it’s event, we need to thank the movie Meet Joe Black. “Hey, I get that, I’m really busy myself but I always have time for coffee and I bet you do too, we may as well have coffee together“. Feel free to replace coffee with “drink”.
If she says thanks but she can’t, go to your default dignity saver and say “That’s cool, but I have to warn you, I’m going to ask you again when we see each other next” big smile. She will once again be flattered and love how easy you made the whole thing happen.
3. The “No thanks, I’m really not interested“. This one is a tough sell. Ok, who are we kidding? You fucked up royally the whole way from the approach to the end or this girl is just an epic bitch. Doesn’t matter, go to your default and say it with good humor and grace “Well that’s too bad, I’m going to ask you again in a month to see if you’ve changed your mind”. Then politely excuse yourself to take care of the shit you needed to do when you originally said you had to go. This one is where you’ve got the opportunity to learn the most about the interaction. Did you fall into her frame? Did you upset the cat and come off too strong? Did you maintain eye contact or did she make you look away? Did you properly establish your value by dropping good bait?
Your research will help you make the proper adjustments.
Dealing With Rejection
If you had the perspective that I recommended earlier about just carrying out little tests for science’s sake where the outcome good or bad is a matter of research and you combine that with the the charming exits I advised in the top 3 rejection scenarios, your dignity and ego should be intact.
But there’s something more at play here that will be good for you.
You did not die. You did not suffer any sort of wound. No one gives a flying fuck. Even if you got blown out and looked terrible, nothing has really happened to you.
What’s better, is this is like lifting weights, the more you do it, the better you get at it and the more seamless your approaches and interactions. Hell, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m accused of being TOO SMOOTH.
You’ve got a human brain, a supercomputer up there. And it is LEARNING from every interaction you have. You’re getting your strongest when things go the wrong way. Make those failed approachs MAKE you stronger.
Once you get a few approaches under your belt, and with the right attitude (what we’ve been talking about), you will realize how silly it seems to have gotten worked up in the first place. This feeling will become even more apparent once you start banging girls more regularly.
In 90 approaches there is simply no way you are not going get a shit load of leads to fill your pipeline. You are going to learn so much about women during these approaches and the follow up dates that your game is going to grow exponentially.
What you should also be doing is supplementing your training by flirting with cashier girls at the grocery store (How are you today sir? I’m OUTSTANDING *big smile* , the little girls behind the Chipotle counter (order in Spanish and call her “preciosa“), The girls at Starbucks asking your name to write on the cup (“Oh I get it, you could have just asked my name, you didn’t have to be sneaky” *big smile*). You start getting comfortable in your own skin, your inner game is tightened up, the aura around you grows and people pick up on it in a positive way.
It doesn’t just have to be with women, start talking to men, ask them what their business is or what they do, drop bait, tell them about the cool manly shit you’ve been doing, get them wanting to hand you their business cards. You may wind up needing tires for your new car and wait-a-minute, you know a guy that works at Discount Tires and he just gave you a 20% discount because you were bullshitting with him while you were in line at In N Out burger.
In other words, you should be constantly looking at how you can get better and learn from each social interaction.
There’s no damn reason why you shouldn’t have a harem of at least 5-7 woman that are wanting to see you and there’s no damn reason why you should be paying full price for tires.
Now get out there!
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