2 years into a ltr. How to cheat?
#1
First post from expat rvforum here.

After a major tinder spree in the fall of 2018, I met my gf who I now live with.
I can truly say that this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I miss fucking other girls. I've even gone as far as setting up plans with a cougar from a different city. Her company has offices in my city, but she is stuck at home due to covid. Amazing body for her age, does yoga everyday. I'd like to hear so input from others in my situation. There is no room for error or getting caught, no fucking way. What she doesn't know, will not hurt my girl
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#2
Would you like your GF to be taking facials and getting anally gap'd by Jerome?

Sounds like you are not ready for a relationship OP (not the one your GF is expecting).

I'd recommend

1) Dumping your GF and continue living the single life

or

2) Ask your GF if she is cool with an open relationship
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#3
She's not that kind of girl, and that's why I'm not gonna be the one trying to convert her.
I won't ask or tell
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#4
Do it in a different city. Its almost impossible to get caught if you're sleeping with girls you meet from nightlife in a different city to your own. Wear a condom, don't give them your full name, and don't swap social media or numbers.

How you engineer that is up to you - work trips, golf/general holiday tips with your male friends, visiting college friends who now live elsewhere, visiting family if you have cousins or other family in other places. There are quite a few options. But just don't go near the dating apps, thats how so many people I know have been caught. Its much, much less anonymous than you think - even in a different city.

I wouldn't feel too bad about it either. Its quite natural to enjoy having a stable happy relationship at home, while a few times a year enjoying getting a bit of strange. Most men of means throughout human history have had side pieces and affairs - its a natural state of affairs. It doesn't make you a bad person. The key is just being smart and not getting caught. Getting caught is what leads to people getting hurt.
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#5
Could always just bring up the topic of threesomes with your girl. I think that’s the absolute best case scenario if you can get her to acquiesce, assuming she’s the type that won’t break up with you over the mere mention of it, of course.

There’s definitely women out there open to these sorts of things with their BFs
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#6
I've joked about having a threesome before. She's not into girls, so I'm not gonna push for that.
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#7
I'm not feeling bad about it. I know it's necessary to stay happy in the relationship.
At the end of my 20's, and I have all this virility. It's now or never, it will not be this good again.
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#8
Make up your mind about what you want. Don't be the dick who ruins a girl by cheating on her, getting caught and leaving her broken and unable to trust anyone for the next five years.

If you want variety, then go back to being single. Or take a break. COVID is the perfect excuse for that.
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#9
In my experience, once you begin to ponder how to cheat on her, how would things be if you break with her, etc. then it is over. It is over man, and it will depend on you how long can you go on with the relationship. If you want good advise, consider it over.

So, don't cheat on her.

BUT, if you will cheat, be discreet, and never tell her. Never ever. Even after 2 years and after already breaking up and getting over it.
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#10
(01-08-2021, 12:24 AM)Suits Wrote: Make up your mind about what you want. Don't be the dick who ruins a girl by cheating on her, getting caught and leaving her broken and unable to trust anyone for the next five years.

If you want variety, then go back to being single. Or take a break. COVID is the perfect excuse for that.

Suits gets it. 

OP, I urge you not to contribute to making women jaded and unpleasant. 

Break up and enjoy a single life of banging any and all women you want without having to worry about hiding it and lying to someone you supposedly like or love. 

Or find a freak who is down for 3somes and open relationships.
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#11
(01-07-2021, 08:30 PM)JsElysianEagle Wrote: Could always just bring up the topic of threesomes with your girl. I think that’s the absolute best case scenario if you can get her to acquiesce, assuming she’s the type that won’t break up with you over the mere mention of it, of course.

There’s definitely women out there open to these sorts of things with their BFs

That's a bit of a Hail Mary if you ask me.  It's one thing to bring that up a little earlier on in the relationship, and something entirely different to ask for after you've been together a couple of years AND have moved in together.

I've had threesomes but never with a girl I was in a committed relationship with.  From what I've seen most of those types of girls aren't LTR material.
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#12
Don’t do it homie. You will get caught eventually, reevaluate what you you really want
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#13
Can second that girls up for threesomes are rarely relationship material, but maybe it worls for you.

Lots of Russian/Ukrainian guys have mistresses...they also have some of the highest divorce rates in the world.
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#14
OP, here's the way I see it.

An "exclusive relationship" is an odd construct to begin with, and one that has only existed for the past 50 years or so. Prior to that, people were either courting (ie: dating non-exclusively and open to other options), engaged, or married. If you're planning to be 100% no-holds-barred exclusive with a "girlfriend", why aren't you married to her already? It's just a bit odd and unnatural to me. I have never made a commitment to be exclusive to a girlfriend in many years. It makes no sense.

In that vein, if you're traveling, whether on a business trip or with some friends, and you smash some other girl, it isn't really that big of a deal. Sure, it's probably better not to do it constantly, but considering that you're not married and don't have kids, you can strike a balance if you actually think that this woman is special to you and you truly value her as a potential long-term mate (and just waiting for the right timing).

Still - if you're at the point where you're making forum threads about it and planning to go out of your way to cheat, you should perhaps consider why you have purposely made yourself exclusive.
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#15
(01-07-2021, 01:51 PM)nordicplayer Wrote: First post from expat rvforum here.

After a major tinder spree in the fall of 2018, I met my gf who I now live with.
I can truly say that this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I miss fucking other girls. I've even gone as far as setting up plans with a cougar from a different city. Her company has offices in my city, but she is stuck at home due to covid. Amazing body for her age, does yoga everyday. I'd like to hear so input from others in my situation. There is no room for error or getting caught, no fucking way. What she doesn't know, will not hurt my girl

Is it possible that she feels the same way, and is getting some dick on the side?


_________________________________________________________________
Sometimes I take notes, sometimes I take hostages. It all depends on the day.
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#16
(01-08-2021, 04:07 AM)Dali Wrote: OP, here's the way I see it.

An "exclusive relationship" is an odd construct to begin with, and one that has only existed for the past 50 years or so. Prior to that, people were either courting (ie: dating non-exclusively and open to other options), engaged, or married. If you're planning to be 100% no-holds-barred exclusive with a "girlfriend", why aren't you married to her already? It's just a bit odd and unnatural to me. I have never made a commitment to be exclusive to a girlfriend in many years. It makes no sense.

Marriage is a construct as well. If you want to describe what is actually natural anthropologically, it's organized groups of 30-50 people with several women shared (interchangeably) between several males. In the modern world, that would probably be best approximated with a lifestyle of open relationships or being a player.
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#17
@zatara Gets it's it.
I'm happy with my relationship. Breaking up with her just to screw other girls would be selfish and stupid. Getting some variery once or twice a year would suffice. No reason break up because of that.
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#18
^ If you want variety while in a relationship, why not take the easy option and fuck a hooker. It's what men who wanted variety and anonymity have done for thousands of years.
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#19
(01-08-2021, 01:38 PM)nordicplayer Wrote: @zatara Gets it's it.
I'm happy with my relationship. Breaking up with her just to screw other girls would be selfish and  stupid. Getting some variery once or twice a year would suffice. No reason break up because of that.

Cheating on someone you supposedly love is selfish. 

People are telling you to break up because you are still not ready for a LT committed relationship. 

Your urges to bang randoms is still too strong. 

If you are dead set on cheating, well have at it. 

But let's not try to act like there is nothing wrong with it.
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#20
This has a lot of commonalities with another thread ("Lame post"). Pretty much the same things are being said here. It seems you don't have moral qualms about it, although maybe the framing of your question implies some insecurity about it. Anyway, I won't discuss the morality or immorality here. If you do have moral qualms then it's better to dump her.

However, ideally you would never get into a situation where you commit to an exclusive relationship, where you actively think about "How to cheat?" and then set up some elaborate affair that will fuck up your relationship if you get caught. Much better to just have a main girl where it's never affirmatively stated that it's either an exclusive or an open relationship. She gets to be a part of your life at your pleasure, you don't settle down, you don't cohabit, you continue living your own life, travelling solo, etc. And in the course of that life things 'just happen'.

Ideally your main girl should know you're a man who gets what he wants (that's why she fell for you in the first place) and be smart enough not to dig too deeply. Ideally some other woman shouldn't even know that you have a woman in your life or that she's the third party to your cheating (or 'cheating'). The more information is exchanged, the likelier it will be that instead of an adventure it will become something as tawdry as an 'affair', you have to actively 'cover your tracks', and it'll just hurt everyone involved when you fail to do so. That whole frame of mind of 'cheating' is already wrong.

I don't really believe in this "just be 100% honest, just be Mr Right, just propose an open relationship". That's an idea that comes from this modern gender equality. Congrats to the few who can pull this off, but it's not been the reality for most of human life on this planet. This idea that man and woman can co-exist with each other in a relationship without marriage, in complete openness and frankness with each other, with equal rights in having other lovers, without any jealousy. It's something often theorised but rarely practised in society.
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