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Crushing on a girl while banging others - Printable Version

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Crushing on a girl while banging others - Johnstop - 01-18-2021

I don't pretend to be a stone cold player, if I meet a girl I like I'll develop feelings like a normal person. In the last two weeks I hooked up with three different girls. One was an ex who I don't have any interest in seeing again, one was a pretty hot girl who just kind of boring, and the third was a fine ass black girl who I vibed with on basically every level. 

I fucked the last girl three times in the last week and really enjoyed myself, I'd be kidding if I said I wasn't crushing on her a little bit. Yeah she is a little crazy but quite frankly I've never felt like this about a girl before, she's on my mind constantly lol. 

Now the second girl (pretty hot Blasian/white girl) is back in my DM's asking to see my again. I'm a little conflicted by this as she is attractive and I'd be down to smash, but I'd feel kind of weird about fucking one girl while having feels for another. Personally I wouldn't want the black girl I mentioned to be banging other guys while we're vibing like that, wouldn't sit right to me. 

So I guess I'm weighing the pros and cons of banging girls while crushing hard on one (I think she has at least some feels back, our chemistry is fantastic). I'd feel like kind of a scumbag for doing it, but I'm not sure if it would be good for me/give me some perspective to bang one hot girl while crushing on another hot girl. 

Input from all is welcome lol this is a new situation for me.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - nordicplayer - 01-19-2021

Is this chemistry just sexual? I had an amazing bang with a chick one time. It was truly mind blowing how we got along trough that night.
But, she was vegan and other stuff. I choose to let that one time be our memory.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - MobyRichard - 01-20-2021

Girls are like money - shares.

You split money across shares and watch how they perform.
You do not put all your money in one set of shares. especially early. This is classic oneitis.

You start 2 threads on this girl now. This is oneitis. She will realize and lose attraction she could have for you.
if you do not have oneitis it will be better, she would like you more.

Keep your instincts sharp. date other girls. FIND other girls, prospecting, approaching, closing, comfort, seduction, - with different girls, new girls to improve skills.

You do not know enough about this girl. There are other girls out there, maybe better.
Being exclusive before 3 months is a mistake.
The less you think about her the more chance of success with her you have.
Unless you want mini relationship - very intense, then over and forget. Then go with short term oneitis now and plan for life without her in future.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Merenguero - 01-20-2021

^^^
The whole game section of this forum is on life support.  When I get a chance, I will do what I can to try to get it on the right track.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Rocha - 01-20-2021

Bang other girls too and live with it.

Feelings are overrated.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Johnstop - 01-20-2021

(01-20-2021, 03:57 AM)MobyRichard Wrote: Girls are like money - shares.

You split money across shares and watch how they perform.
You do not put all your money in one set of shares. especially early. This is classic oneitis.

You start 2 threads on this girl now. This is oneitis. She will realize and lose attraction she could have for you.  
if you do not have oneitis it will be better, she would like you more.

Keep your instincts sharp. date other girls. FIND other girls, prospecting, approaching, closing, comfort, seduction, - with different girls, new girls to improve skills.

You do not know enough about this girl. There are other girls out there, maybe better.
Being exclusive before 3 months is a mistake.
The less you think about her the more chance of success with her you have.
Unless you want mini relationship - very intense, then over and forget. Then go with short term oneitis now and plan for life without her in future.

This is actually really good advice. +1 

It 100% is oneitis, this is the problem with having a couple magical experiences with a girl early on, it blinds you to their flaws. This girl has a weird complex against guys of my race due to some experiences she's had and occasionally says really weird shit. On top of that I just feel like we're incompatible at a deep level, she excites me and is sexy af but dealing with her is an anxiety causing experience. 

The other annoying thing is I feel like I'm almost always initiating. With other girls I've smashed it's more of a two way street, I feel thirsty af if I'm the only one putting in the work. The other two girls I've fucked this month hit me up constantly but I've put them on the backburner for this girl.

The reality is I'm pulling girls at this level because I've relentlessly improved myself, if I continue to do so girls like this won't seem like goddesses to me and I'll be able to handle them more maturely. 

Oneitis really is crazy though. I'm not a newbie, I've been in the game for seven years on and off. This girl is on my mind CONSTANTLY. I'm not averse to seeing her again cause the sex is fantastic and she is entertaining to be around, but the deep addictive infatuation I'm feeling cannot be healthy. 

Thanks for this reality check. The usual advice is that all women are sluts and whores which isn't helpful. The truth is I've known this girl for a grand total of a week and need to get my head right fast.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - OviOs - 01-20-2021

(01-20-2021, 05:31 AM)Johnstop Wrote:
(01-20-2021, 03:57 AM)MobyRichard Wrote: Girls are like money - shares.

You split money across shares and watch how they perform.
You do not put all your money in one set of shares. especially early. This is classic oneitis.

You start 2 threads on this girl now. This is oneitis. She will realize and lose attraction she could have for you.  
if you do not have oneitis it will be better, she would like you more.

Keep your instincts sharp. date other girls. FIND other girls, prospecting, approaching, closing, comfort, seduction, - with different girls, new girls to improve skills.

You do not know enough about this girl. There are other girls out there, maybe better.
Being exclusive before 3 months is a mistake.
The less you think about her the more chance of success with her you have.
Unless you want mini relationship - very intense, then over and forget. Then go with short term oneitis now and plan for life without her in future.

This is actually really good advice. +1 

It 100% is oneitis, this is the problem with having a couple magical experiences with a girl early on, it blinds you to their flaws. This girl has a weird complex against guys of my race due to some experiences she's had and occasionally says really weird shit. On top of that I just feel like we're incompatible at a deep level, she excites me and is sexy af but dealing with her is an anxiety causing experience. 

The other annoying thing is I feel like I'm almost always initiating. With other girls I've smashed it's more of a two way street, I feel thirsty af if I'm the only one putting in the work. The other two girls I've fucked this month hit me up constantly but I've put them on the backburner for this girl.

The reality is I'm pulling girls at this level because I've relentlessly improved myself, if I continue to do so girls like this won't seem like goddesses to me and I'll be able to handle them more maturely. 

Oneitis really is crazy though. I'm not a newbie, I've been in the game for seven years on and off. This girl is on my mind CONSTANTLY. I'm not averse to seeing her again cause the sex is fantastic and she is entertaining to be around, but the deep addictive infatuation I'm feeling cannot be healthy. 

Thanks for this reality check. The usual advice is that all women are sluts and whores which isn't helpful. The truth is I've known this girl for a grand total of a week and need to get my head right fast.

The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned.  -- Billy Joel.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Johnstop - 01-20-2021

The question though is what do you do about oneitis? I don't want to get way too into my feels like I have been the last week, but I also don't want to completely repress my emotions either.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Dali - 01-20-2021

This might be an unpopular opinion but I would personally just appreciate your emotions for what they are - genuine humanity - and roll with the flow of it.

A little bit back while traveling, I hooked up with probably the most attractive girl I've ever been with - think slender, sexy IG model type, much younger than me, etc. It was a pretty short (couple days) but really intense experience and she clearly had emotional feelings for me. I didn't think too much of it at first, as I came back home and spent time with my main, went out with friends and just moved on with life. Before long though, I noticed myself doing shit I hadn't done in years - checking her social media more than necessary, being upset if my text was left on read, all of the stuff that is typical oneitis that we [rightly] discourage. Not surprisingly, things burned out after a couple of months.

Looking back on it though, it was a blessing. For over a half-decade now, I've worked as hard as possible to put up barriers between myself and any woman that I'm dating in order to protect myself from catching feelings, and it had worked so well that it almost began to scare me if I'm even capable of it anymore. This experience showed me that I'm still human, and that I am still able to have an emotional connection with a woman that isn't entirely within my control. In a strange way, it's even helped me develop a deeper bond with the girl I'm currently dating.

Of course, I would still suggest you keep dating and banging other girls, don't offer exclusivity first, and obviously try not to do anything stupid in moments of anxiety (ie: blow up her phone if she breaks up with you or something). But, having these emotions is normal and its okay to act on them at least to a certain extent. Just be cognizant that most likely, things will end with her and this is just another chapter in your journey.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Johnstop - 01-20-2021

That's fantastic advice, thanks for writing that up. I agree, you can have feelings for a girl without acting like a simp and accepting that she might just be a step on a journey to greater things. This girl proved to me that I can pull women that I'm extremely attracted to and that my self improvement gets me better results with women. Unless something horrible happens this was still a great experience, even if it does inevitably end.

Another question, what do you guys do for girls who never text or initiate first? This girl did send me a couple memes/texts when she was on vacation this week, but I initiate way more than she does. This is especially true for when we actually fuck.

Is this normal? What are yalls thoughts


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Rottenapple - 01-20-2021

She's holding all the cards and you are setting yourself up to be played. You need to become colder. Stop texting her as much, texting is for girls mainly. For men, it should be a tool to get a girl to meet up as soon as possible. I even suggest you to completely ignore her a few times or to just drop off the radar a few days and see what happens. You need to shift the powerbalance back in your favor. More complicated would be passively showing her you have other girls waiting, this can be done through pictures etc. but maybe first try to disengage a bit.

And your feelings... well choose between enjoying and expressing your feelings now, but losing the girl or becoming cold and keeping her, you can enjoy them later. That might sound shitty to you, but hey, that's how this animal world was designed.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - MobyRichard - 01-22-2021

(01-20-2021, 10:51 PM)Rottenapple Wrote: She's holding all the cards and you are setting yourself up to be played. You need to become colder. 

And your feelings... well choose between enjoying and expressing your feelings now, but losing the girl or becoming cold and keeping her, you can enjoy them later. That might sound shitty to you, but hey, that's how this animal world was designed.

^Yes.

I read somewhere on forum thread title, "Stop taking Ls with women" - best way to summarize. Just stop.. we can stop this BS.

We choose Ls because is familiar and comfortable, choose habit even when we know result is bad.

Really is just as easy to hold frame really. Make her think about you... 
Just not familiar.

So we do not.


RE: Crushing on a girl while banging others - Johnstop - 01-23-2021

Does anyone else low key enjoy fucking toxic women?

Recently I've mostly attracted really well adjusted and normal women, the problem is this has started to bore me and I enjoy the verbal sparring and games. Only to an extent and if it ever gets too much I'll walk.

There's just something really entertaining about dealing with a somewhat bratty/bitchy girl who is fine as fuck and a freak.