Ho Chi Minh City

Flashback: My Saigon Ass Girl

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Flashback: My Saigon Ass Girl

Time for another flashback, this time to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City), the night of the crazy pool table and when I met my Saigon ass girl.

Fucking up in Vietnam

Ho Chi Minh City

We had fucked up a lot. No plans going in. No idea of what to do besides some recommendations on the ground and our past success with shoring did not prepare us for this place.

We planned to take a motorbike trip from Saigon to Hanoi but the rental guy informed us the bikes still weren’t available. Waking up every day with a hangover made us lazy with daygame. I had several nights in a row where I drank until late dawn. Wtf…

Anyway we still mustered the energy to get a few workouts in there. The locals were chattering away. I’m glad we made it to the parks to train because if we had stayed in the  same area we were in, I’d be calling in napalm strikes eventually.

These people will not leave you the fuck alone. You can’t sit outside and have a coffee without 10 different types of vendors asking you to buy something and then not leaving or repeatedly coming back. Telling them “No thankyou” just keeps them standing there looking at you funny. Telling them “No!” in their own language makes them smile and stand there and do it again.

We thought buying a pair of sunglasses would keep the sunglass vendors away at least. Fuck no. They say “buy second pair from me”.

Everyday I’d wind up irritable from just trying to relax. At night I could deal with it. I usually had a bar girl I’d become friends with wave them away (these chicks were age 13-15 but I wasn’t trying to bang, they just liked sitting near me, and I them).

As I was saying, in the parks students would approach us and all they wanted to do was practice their English and talk to us. We really should have capitalized on that.

Also, my virgin girl would come over and stay until 10 or 11, give me a blowjob, then go home.

I was lazy. If the girls are in clubs, it’s almost a certainty they are hardcore pros.

We find out the guy with the bike decided to rent one of the two bikes we were supposed to get and the ride to Hanoi was no longer an option. We are coming back to do that, and Vietnam right.


The shady ice place

sheesha_bluThat last night we went out we decided to get the fuck out of the area in District one. We went to find a place to smoke shisha and all of a sudden no one knows what the word means.

We see two girls sitting outside of a very dodgy looking doorway and naturally walk over to ask if there’s a place nearby.

They think we are asking for fucking ICE. “Oh I have ICE!”

No no shisha, we want tabacco.


Jesus Christ.

We get a taxi driver over to translate but to no avail. I look at this dodgy doorway again with ice dealers hanging outside and I have to see whats going on.

THC reluctantly agrees to come in. We walk through and it’s a long narrow hallway and then up some stairs to another shady doorway. Inside, the walls are covered with 5 or 6 different types of peeling wallpaper and the bar is being tended by a 40 year old hooker that only serves 333 beer but insists on asking us what we want as if there is a choice.

We order a beer and look around, the place seems more like a whorehouse with low class whores.

We look to our left. Confirmed.

One old white man playing pool against a possible older whore in a tight red dress who’s wearing a LEATHER glove because she needs that to really play pool.

The absurdity get’s better.

We are cracking up about it.

The ice dealer comes in and challenges us to play a game. We have to buy them a drink if they beat us and if we win they take off their clothes.

What a deal!

The white guy warns us not to.

We play a game. The pool table is made of the same material as spiderman’s webs.

You can’t bank a shot, it just stays right next to the border.

These girls have been trained to play on this table. We still beat them. They renig. Big surprise.

Apocalypse Now

Apocalypse Now SaigonWe head to Apocalypse Now and all you guys who say there are normal girls in that club are out of your minds. EVERYONE of them is a pro.

I talk to one of the managers for a bit, I say we want good girls. He starts laughing.

We decide we need to pioneer this place and start drinking tequila shots. The prices are ridiculous.

I notice one girl in little short jean shorts and high heels with a dress shirt on. Her ass is incredible and her dancing style is so fucking cute and sexy. THC and I both remark on it. She looks over at us and smiles. I think to myself “this girl is too hot to bother with trying to shore”

And I talk to a 7 with nice tits nearby. She is touching me and caressing my arms. It feels good and I like her feminine energy.

We have “the talk” and it’s not going on.

The girl with the nice ass keeps looking over and the girl I’m talking to says “I think she likes you”. I look up and smile.

We make eye contact while she’s dancing and she sassily turns and stomps her little feet in the heels.

THC was talking to a friend of this girl.

They all start talking and we are getting ready to leave. The girl with the nice ass, correction, PHENOMENAL ass, asks about the other girl. I shrug my shoulders and say we are just friends. She gives me a strange smile.

THC comes up and the girl with the ass says she has a bottle at GO2 bar, and says we can all drink there if we pay for mixers.

No problem. I wave at my girl and she wistfully looks at me as I turn away. Ass girl is very aware of this.

We get inside and she is treated like royalty. Moving tables around, making up things to fuss over.

Go 2 Bar

Go 2 bar Saigon

We start drinking heavily. She is trying to play aloof. I am out aloofing her. She engages, I am nonchalant. I am completely unimpressed. I am a pillar of alpha maleness. I am getting eyed by every girl when they walk by. Some Nigerians are in a group and try to bump into me as they walk by and they are bouncing off the way bullets bounce off superman. She is overwhelmed and comes to stand in the shelter of the wake I leave. I am conscious of her studying my face.

She starts talking about how she isn’t impressed with where people are from and who they are etc. She has been carrying on in this sassy bossy manner the whole time. To be honest it’s cute as hell. Her face is gorgeous and very expressive. THC and I comment on how high her eyebrows raise up. They can go from a normal place on her face and then almost touch the top of her forehead. So expressive.

I look at her and shrug my shoulders as if to say “Why are you telling me this?”

I lean over to THC: “Tell her I’m famous back home”.

He does and she is looking at me harder, you can see her starting to give in to everything including my perceived fame.

I say I’m leaving and “Let’s get a drink at the bar around the corner” (and also right next to my hotel)

She says she’s staying. I say “Nice to meet you, thanks for the bottle” and throw down money for mixers.

I walk away and don’t look back but smile at girls turning to see me go.

The bar around the corner

I head down to the bar and the young little bar girls are squealing and coming over. I am telling two of them at the same time I wish they were older. They are both claiming to be 19 and they are so cute and feminine. I already asked the guy that runs the bar and he told me they never go home with anyone, they make their money getting guys to buy them drinks (which I don’t do).

The youngest one is rubbing her little ass on my leg while she sits there while the older one (15?) is giving me these wounded glances.

I smile at her and tell her I like her face. She beams.

The girl with the ass comes up and sits at the table across from mine and lights a cigarette. Blatantly pretending to be coincidentally at the same bar I happen to be at. She would have had to look for me because it’s around corner.

We make eye contact. She pats the seat next to her: Shit test.

I look at her like “what?”

“Sit here”

What am I your dog? I laugh.

“Ok, please!”


“PLEASE” her little eyebrows raise up to the top of her pretty forehead.

I roll my eyes comically and come over. I feel this is a neutral action. We sit there and start talking, she is trying to lecture me and I am making fun of her. She is used to getting her way and not at all used to the classic “take it or leave it” attitude. This is the pervasive cancer that is spreading across SEA. Girls, hot girls, are becoming westernized.

THC shows up pissed. He’d wasted all that time with his girl only to be hardcore pro’d out.

We are having beers as the sun comes up. A street food cart shows up and I say I’m hungry. THC is too.


My girl yells at the vendor and she brings over two dishes of food. She pays for us. My girl is affectionately but angrily feeding me.

It’s hysterical. I think “I can’t wait to write about this”. She is tearing chicken off the bone and shoving it in my mouth. I am eating it without looking at her. I pretend not to see when she has a piece ready and she shoves more food in and says something angrily.

I’ve won. She knows it and I know it.

Some girl sees THC sitting on the sidewalk and runs up to him “I remember you”. He looks at me with his trademark comical grin as if he knew it wasn’t game over.

I say let’s go and we get up. I lead my girl by the hand. THC says “You better get some digital memories”!

Improvised LMR technique

We get into my room past the front desk nazi and into my room where I encountered last several hours resistance.

I actually ended up having to pull out a strange technique. She was giving the “I’m tired” thing.

I said no problem. I start jacking it. Her body goes stiff. “Wtf is he doing??”

She says stop. I tell her no, I need to so I can sleep (framing it as a way to relax)

She lays there, I tell her I need to touch her so I can finish (I need your help)

She let’s me rub and touch her tits for the first time.

Her nipples get hard. I rub her crotch through her shorts and feel her respond.

I touch her more she let’s out a moan. Her elbow slowly slides next to my dick so she’s touching it.

I grab her hand and she starts jacking it.

I tell her I need to feel her ass and push her on her side.

I unbutton her shorts. Her skin is so soft. That has been the characteristic I’ve loved most about Asian girls. Their skin is so nice.

She hesitantly let’s me pull them off. She is on her side and I am rubbing her pussy with my dick.

I raw dog the hell out of her. She rides me and tells me she loves me. Cums twice. That expressive pretty face is priceless.

I didn’t fuck her doggy style because I cum while she’s riding me. Her pussy is super tight.

We fall asleep (after I do the hard piss, wash dick routine) and when we wake up I bend her ass over and turn on the lights.

She’s bleeding. I’m pounding away because what’s done is done.

Exit vietnam

We we left Vietnam for Indonesia, she winded up waiting on me for 6 hours just to kiss goodbye me at the airport. That’s another long story but I was busy trying to get with a girl I met in a coffee shop the day I was leaving. I’ll leave it for another flashback.

We have unfinished business in Vietnam for sure.

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