First Colombian Girl: Possibly Clinically Insane

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First Day Colombia: Bogota

I arrived in Colombia about a month ago in Bogota with my friend Smooth Operator.

It was a Wednesday so the city was pretty dead but we went out anyway. We did manage to find a place with something going on; we had some drinks, talked to some girls.

This one girl was into me, but she was giving a weird/distracted vibe. I figured she didn’t understand me very well or that my Spanish got rusty from spending so much time in Brazil. Anyway, I got her number and met her the day after for a drink.

On the date the weird vibe didn’t get any better. She would sometimes not respond to questions and just keep staring in front of her; then suddenly she would change the subject to something completely unrelated. Very awkward. At moments she would jump up and do a little dance, then sit down again.

Very incoherent.

I was getting sick of it, so I said I had to go home but that she could join me for a bit, not caring either way whether she would or not. At first she said no, but as I get up and put on my jacket, she changed her mind: “Ok, I’ll come. But we’re not gonna have sex.” 

Which is female for “we’re definitely gonna have sex”.

I take her to my place, we’re sitting on the bed making out. As I’m undressing her and myself she suddenly stops.

“Are we boyfriend girlfriend now?”

Euhm… what?

This girl is definitely a basket case.

I didn’t want to waste too much time on her anymore because my friends were waiting for me to go to a restaurant.

So I reply, “Euhm, sure, whatever.”

She pulls out my dick and says: “This is mine alone!” 

Okay…… a little bit creepy; but I proceed.

I bang her and I feel a little bit bad for having to kick her out immediately after. I was supposed to meet Scotian and some RVF-members for dinner.

As I’m walking her out to find her a taxi, the guys from the RVF-meetup had already gathered in front of my hotel and were ready to go. I quickly put the girl in a cab and walk back to meet them.

One of the RVF-guys says “Ahhhhh, you met that girl in Club X? I already banged her as well. Check your stuff, she tried to steal my phone.”

Lol, what. I wasn’t worried about her stealing as I didn’t leave her alone in my room; but damn, what are the odds. We have a laugh about it and head out for the dinner. So far for feeling bad about kicking her out.

But her actual craziness only got confirmed later on that night.

Poco Loco

It gets worse

After the dinner some of the guys go home; 20Nation, Smooth Operator, Atlantic and me decide to hit up some bars.

As we’re looking for a taxi, of course, I happen run into this same girl again.

She immediately gets clingy, invites herself along and insists she joins us. I politely decline and tell her it’s a guys only night. I tell her 3 times she can’t join us and that has to go, but it doesn’t seem to sink in.

The only way to get rid of her was to ostensively get into a taxi.

Still, that wasn’t not enough; she actually tries to force herself into our taxi by sitting on my lap. I again make clear she can’t come and I have to push her out and close the door behind her.

Pretty clear message that she’s not welcome, right?


She runs around the cab and tries to force herself into the cab again, this time by sitting on Smooth Operator’s lap, who’s sitting in the front of the car. He also has to push her out of the car while we’re telling the driver to start driving.

As she’s disappearing from the rearview mirror my phone starts to light up:

“I love you!!”

I remove her from all social media and block her number. Close one.

So that was my first Colombian flag: a promising start! 😉

(Comments section below ↓)

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