Carnival in La Vega (Dominican Republic)

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The call of adventure has become too loud, and with the upcoming trip through Central America to look forward to, we got restless. The monotony was getting to me as well as the days started to blend in, but Fisto had it worse: “I’m not spending another day in this apartment or I’m going to jump out the window”

“Well I heard that tomorrow there’s a carnival in La Vega.”

20 minutes later out shit was packed and we were in a taxi to the central bus station.

From there we took a decent bus (Carribean Tour) straight to La Vega, it was the last bus out there, but it’s only a 2h drive. Thank god, we were on the road again and good stuff was bound to happen.



La Vega Carnival: 1 Day of Fisto

We are officially still on the THC’s 30 days of Hardcore, but walking around in a town where every Dominican is getting drunk, there’s loud music everywhere, we felt like we’d be missing out on the full experience by not partaking in the drinking activities. So we decided to take a day off a.k.a The 1 Day of Fisto.

A wise decision.

Good stuff always happens when we start drinking and yesterday was no exception.

They had cleared out a few blocks of traffic and now the streets were packed with people. Everybody was getting drunk, cute girls all around. The only annoyance was the “ass smacking” tradition of the carnival. The carnival groups were dressed in their festive cloths and they walked around with a football on a string which they used to smack unsuspecting festival-goers on the ass, as hard as humanly possible. Being the only 3 gringos in town, we were a favorite target and more than once we got stung pretty badly. 


The first hit you can still laugh off but when they get you again while you’re still recovering from the previous hit, you learn to grow eyes on your back fast. But the atmosphere was great, everybody was in a good mood and enjoying the music and beers. The festival was sponsored by Brahma beer because there were no Presidentes available, but they did the job of getting us drunk just fine.

The crowd was pretty young so we had to keep ourselves aware of the jailbait. Some of these girls are way ahead of their ages. This place is not used to tourists like Santo Domingo so our exotic value was way up. Girls would yell us over but there was always an aunt or uncle nearby so we just got a bunch of numbers and what’s apps.


When the beers were finished Fisto showed up with some unidentified drinks that looked pink but tasted like pure vodka. “I mixed them myself”, he explained. We got a bit more drunk than planned so we didn’t realize the carnival stopped pretty early. Around 7 pm the music stopped and people disappeared as quickly as they had shown up. Only drunks were still hanging out in the streets finished their last beers.

That’s when we got the luminous idea to start drunk climbing random constructions. At the center of the carnival they had constructed a high pyramid over the intersection with two fake cows on the top as a symbol of one of the carnival’s organisations. Fisto and I started climbing this construction trying to reach these symbols to conquer the carnival. Half way up there we took off our shirts and did some improvised drunk Hulk Hogan poses. This started to draw a crowd as cars stopped and started honking and girls came outside to take pictures of the crazy shirtless gringos. We quickly descended and headed back home to change and go to the after party.



The after party

By the time we get back to the hotel we were stumbling around. We agree take a 1 minute power shower (there’s no hot water here, so all showers are power showers) and meet up in the lobby in 5 minutes but then the drinking took it’s first casualty. I think Fisto went all in on his one day of Fisto so we couldn’t wake him up anymore. So it was just 20 Nation and me for the after party. 

We ask a motorbike taxi (death scooter) where the after party is and he drives us to giant stadium, there’s a full on concert going on.


We walk in and within 2 minutes we are each walking hand in hand with 2 girls, I don’t even know how it happened. We walk to the crowd to dance and… damn, these girls have skills. They stand in front of us, drop their hands to the floor and start shaking their asses against us.

They seemed very DTF but since it all happened so easily and there are 1000’s of other girls available, we get cocky and think we can upgrade our chicks. We didn’t ask for these girls’ numbers and go off into the crowd to look for hotter girls. A mistake. The setting is very hard, nearly everybody is either in couple or in a family. We approach a few sets but our drunkenness is not helping our game.

As the concert is about to end I found a cute girl, we locked eyes and I call  her over. We’re holding hands immediately. Her friend is not that attractive but 20 Nation wings me by distracting her. I try to isolate her and take her to a quieter place of the concert and we make out, but I can’t get her to come home with me, she HAS to go with her friend. Whatever, another fucking number to the list that I’m not going to ever use.


The concert’s over

As everybody starts to leave home, we’re still talking to girls left and right. We meet a cool group of student girls and have a drink with them but again we can’t get them to come home with us. Fuck, a lot of time wasted and it’s getting late. It’s not an easy night for us, it’s about time we get a lucky break. When we walk back to the stadium we realize we have missed all the public transportation, there is nobody left. The only people that are still on the premise is a girl and guy. 


We walk up to them to ask where we can still find a taxi. As we come close I see that it’s not a couple and the girl is quite cute, she explains she was at the concert with her gay cousin. She didn’t say gay, but he made it quite obvious himself. We get to talking a bit more and the girl calls us a taxi. Right now I don’t give a shit anymore and I’m really set on getting laid; I pick her up and tell her I’m going to kidnap her, she has to come with us.

Not sure if she was drunk too, but this approach worked well with her and she gets very responsive. I’m making out with her before the taxi arrives. Now the plan has changed to find an after-club and girl for 20Nation.


The club

Once in the club my girl seems to know a lot of people here. First we run into her “tia” (auntie), an older woman who’s still clubbing with her friends, a little bit weird but she’s cool. She then starts looking around and sending texts to find 20Nation his girl.

They play a good mix of dance and salsa music but then suddenly the dance floor is cleared, turns out the club is also part strip club. A Dominican girl dressed as an army girl starts stripping and dancing with the pole in the center of the dance floor. You see a lot of big asses here but this one took the cake, damn. After the act she goes from table to table putting her ass and/or tits in people’s faces. My girl calls her over and 20Nation gets a free lap dance.

It doesn’t take a lot to make a man happy, 20Nations grin of happiness is almost as wide as her fat ass. Right then one of my girl’s friends shows up, 20Nation gets to pick up where the stripper left because she’s got pretty decent derriere as well. We haven’t stopped drinking yet and the vibe is good. The girls are giving us lap dances and we’re all having a good time. Time to take this party home!

The four of us get a taxi and we’re on our way too…


The worst burrito in the world

We stopped for a quick snack with the girls. I don’t get how you can fuck up greasy food for drunk guys, but this Dominican street food vendor outdid himself. I was starving and drunk and still I did not enjoy finishing his ‘take’ on Mexican food. But it’s not the only annoying thing in this street at this hour.

Next in line is the worst drummer in the world. This random homeless guy shows up with an empty bucket and I’m not even sure if he was trying to create something musical but he has his eyes closed and was humming along with it, so I guess so. Then he changed his instrument into a seat and sat with us like he was part of the group. I was fine ignoring him until he tried to feel up the big booty of 20Nation’s girl, then I told him to fuck off with his crappy homeless guy game.

The homeless guy is not even out of sight and the next problem was already at our door. A particularly drunk Dominican guy took offence that we were “stealing Dominican girls” and started ranting bad stuff about gringo’s. I couldn’t understand all of it, but 20Nation translated he was talking about either being a hitman or going to hire a hitman. I can appreciate some dinner entertainment but I had seen enough already, at this hour not a lot of good stuff can happen at side alley food stands.

Also my girl had been grabbing my dick through my pants ever since we were in the club, so I was definitely ready to go home now.

Zero LMR, smash her and then kicked her out. Not to be an ass, but it had been a long fucking day and I needed to have at least some decent sleep for a few hours.

The 1 day of Fisto was officially over so I had to get my rest for the Hardcore regime that was about to resume.

To be continued…

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