I was a month into my first trip outside of my home country and my chosen destination was Barranquilla, Colombia. Colombia can be a dangerous place if you don’t know what you are doing, which I didn’t. Luckily I knew somebody back home who knew somebody in Barranquilla so I had been living with him and his family for the past month, and had been learning what areas I will get murdered in and what areas I will only get mugged in. There are other good things to learn like; never go to the atm without a friend (or a shotgun) and other unwritten rules of the city. But things were about to get crazy because Carnaval was starting. I was about to experience the third largest carnival on the planet.
My Spanish was still pretty shitty, but it had improved a ridiculous amount since it seemed like nobody in Barranquilla spoke a word of English… I had been forced to learn or be 100% anti-social. You don’t realize being social is a need until you go without socializing for a few weeks. My crappy Spanish also didn’t help me too much with the ladies. I did, however, have one girl I had gone on a few dates with her and gotten to second base (feeling up every inch of her body), but my living situation was fucking with my chances of getting laid. I was packed in a two bedroom apartment with 7 people. However, Carnaval was coming and the locals frequently described the event as “Como Magia” or “Like Magic”.
As Carnaval grew closer I met a couple other Foreign guys like myself who were in town for Carnaval. One of these guys was Scotian. Scotioan was a short Canadian guy who is loud, and does everything all out, especially drinking. The other guy was a tall Australian guy with a blonde look that the locals loved. We would end up spend the next couple of weeks together.
The first moments of Carnaval started and this would blow your mind. The streets packed full of people, everybody in the entire region is there: drinking, dancing, and partying. Beautiful, curvy Latina girls dressed in hardly anything (the heat in Barranquilla keeps these girls honest 😉 and a vibe that I have never felt. Fuckin’ Carnaval!
Later on we looked for a place to start getting drunk, the choices were everywhere… but we eventually settled on a courtyard that was turned into an outdoor bar. To enter you had to pay 5$ and there was music playing tables to sit at, with that 5$ you got 8 beers. Hell yeah! This was where we would drink. Scotian and I both brought a girl so our group was five people. We started drinking and dancing. My girl didn’t drink so I ended up drinking a shit load of her beers.
The courtyard had become so packed with people drinking and dancing that it was hard to find a place to dance yourself, but that only added to the addicting vibe. Dancing and drunk out of my mind, my girl whispers into my ear “Quiero hacerlo. Quiero hacer el amor.” or “I want to do it. I want to make love.” Fuck yeah! “Donde?” I replied. She knew of a love hotel nearby. Finally it was about to happen. We were out of there minutes later.
She led me down the dark streets as I stumbled after her in my drunken state. Even in my state, I began to realize that I wasn’t in the best situation. I was drunk, in Colombia, being led down the street by somebody completely sober, in the middle of the night, and I had no idea where we were or where we were going. Well fuck, too late to turn back now. We continued on and 15 minutes later we were still walking down side streets and dark alleyways. Then, we entered a building. It looked pretty shady, we walked down these narrow halls and all I remember is her pushing me into a room. The pink and red walls and heart shaped bed could never have looked so welcoming. Got the Colombian flag baby! And I didn’t even have to get my organs harvested to get it.