The Bitch-Whisperers: Three dirty little secrets of your favorite pick-up guru

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Over the years, I chased girls together with quite a few pick-up coaches.

When I started out with game,, I was still in Western Europe. With the horrible dating market there, I needed all the help I could get.

I paid for some of my coaching, but most of it was by exchange of services.

After the sessions, I would stay friends with the majority of these coaches. I got a front row seat to what they do when the cameras are not rolling, and when the other clients went back to their hotel (usually alone).

Here are the three dirty little secrets they don’t want you to know.


Secret 1. Most pick-up coaches don’t know how to pick-up girls

Anyone can start a coaching business and be relatively financially successful, without proof of skill. I would argue that anyone that has started a coaching business, has probably spent more time focussing on getting money from clients then getting head from girls.

The exceptions are the ones that didn’t start a business. In that case, the business started itself. By great demand from men around them. Because when a guy becomes good with girls, his friends notice.

They tell their friends. Soon, they are asking him for advice. When the supply he is willing to give outstrips demand, he can set his own price. A new coach is born.

This however, is not the way this usually goes. Here is a “usual birth of a pick-up guru” for you.

Some kid with aspergers who never had any friends watches a lot of “infield footage” and cult-like gathering in seedy seminar rooms. He decides that he wants to be just as cool as the guys in the videos. He creates a website saying he is an experienced pick-up coach. Most of his time is now dedicated to learning online marketing, so he can convince other kids with aspergers of his new found authority.

That is the usual story, as told by those kids themselves.

Some of them end up being good by accident, after years and years of practice. But that’s very rare.

Most of them never grow that much, but they keep receiving their income from coaching clients or putting out online products. It borders on charlatanry.

So, how do you find a pick-up coach who is actually good at the skill he is teaching?

Look around you and find that guy in the bar who takes a girl home every night. Buy him a beer and ask him how he does it. Tell him you buy him another if he teaches you.

It’s that simple.


Secret 2: Good pick-up coaches have worked as a bartender or street salesman for years

There are no coaches who are any good, who didn’t have a job either as a bartender or a street or door-to-door salesman.

To be clear: with “good” I mean they are able to bed girls consistently anywhere, anytime. Bad nights don’t seem to exist for them.

You can be mediocre without bartending or sales experience. But not great.

Who would’ve thought?

What most kids seems to miss, is that the girls you can date strongly relates to how good your social skills are.

We all know that one ugly, poor dude who gets really hot girls. He has nothing going for him, except that he is a freaking bitch-whisperer.

He became a bitch-whisperer by being around a lot of bitches, and having a strong incentive other then sex to make them like him.

A financial incentive is the most common, such as tips with bartending or commission with sales.

There are exceptions. This is my favourite:

One of the best players I know (who is not a coach, by the way) was an improv actor for many years. His incentive was working smoothly on stage with his mostly female colleagues, to get applause from the audience. He is not witty and doesn’t have stage presence, but he knows very well how to work together with his team. This is the most important in pick-up.

He is not manly. He is ugly as well, and he is so frail I could snap his nek between two fingers. But his ability to improvise in social situations, directly derived from his acting experience, is from another planet.

So are the girls he banged. As a matter of fact, he banged a lot of my hotter plates back in the day.

If you want to become really good at pick-up, do what these guys did. Get paid to improve your social skills. Be it in money or applause.

In my opinion, your best options are to work as a bartender or as a street vendor. They teach you night- and daygame, respectively.


Secret 3. Good pick-up coaches primarily bang foreign girls

Asians. Eastern-Europeans. Latinas.

That’s what pick-up coaches really prefer.

At home, they seek out girls fresh from the boat. When they have some financial success, they go abroad.

As soon as these guys can afford it, they will book a one-way ticket to the ethnic flavour of their choice and bang away.

However, they don’t state this publicly. This causes problems for the men who follow them religiously.

As has been covered extensively on this blog, foreign girls are better then their Western counterparts… but they are also easier.

Don’t fall for the hype and marketing that tells you to go out every night to practice your game. Rather, work overtime in some job that develops your social skills. Save all the money you can.

Then use that money to join your favorite pick-up coach in Eastern-Europe or Asia. Apply your new-found social skills there. See how that changes your life.

Yours sincerely,


PS: Several commenters mentioned Roosh V. as an example of secret #3, but I don’t agree. He doesn’t hide from his followers that he prefers foreign women. Better yet, he is honest about it and has written many books on the subject. To my limited knowledge, he basicly started this movement of writing about pick-up travel.

Many celebrity post pick-up coaches were inspired by Roosh and travelled in his footsteps. But they omit this fact when teaching their students.

Imagine a little league basketball player pretending on camera he plays in the NBA. Then he offers you an expensive course on how to become a NBA-player. While he stays in the little league himself he keeps pretending he plays NBA. You could call him a charlatan, but I prefer lying sleazebag.

Those famous, well-earning coaches are hiding that they are leveraging their foreigner value. And they are hiding they are based in countries where it’s easier to get laid. This is deceitful and unfair to their students, who believe their favourite pick-up coach is gaming in the west.

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